Srs Beer Newz

Located below is all the srs bzness hard hitting beer journalism that you crave. Objective, no spin, just straight up information about the beer world and critical current events that shape your life. If you have a story to report, email dontdrinkbeers@gmail.com and we will dispatch a qualified reporter to the scene to investigate the srs happenings.

2015____________________________________________

GOSE OPINIONS: stupid Thrillist clickbait bullshit

Dr. Dre Lil Hoarder Boy SUBTITLED

Are Grandfather Unaffected by Nugget Nectar Now Available in Cans

Lagunitas Steps of the Line Using Iconic Sierra Nevada Logo on their New IPA

LINK AND SHARE IF UR OLD ENUF TO REMEMBER THIS BEER

DuClaw Expands Distribution to North Carolina, Bottle Shops Buy Endust in Preparation

Irrelevant Brewery Releases Beer Brewed with Strange Ingredient, Attention Seeking Bullshit Ensues

Brewery Day Care Opens with Resounding Success

Muling Shitlords Demand Union Benefits from Local Breweries

Jim Koch talks shit on emerging breweries, gets the Heisman by a Hobo Lord

2014_____________________________________________________

Bullshit beer bingo: finally a way to make horrible releases less insufferable!

HARD HITTING Exposé: BEER MULES UNMASKED, srs beer journalisms

Three words to describe a traditional saison GOGOGO “Uhh…bitter…coffee…uhh…chocolate-coated-plums?


<a href="https://dontdrinkbeer.com/2014/10/24/ten-reasons-why-october-is-the-absolute-shittiest-beer-month-for-people-who-love-beer/" title="Ten Reasons Why October Is the Absolute Shittiest Beer Month for People Who Love Beer

Upland Brewing Company Announces Bold New “Expectation Society”

Beer nerds declare DDOS attack on The Rare Barrel servers a complete success

New Posts Up on my Children’s Fashion Blog: Calling Kids Out

The people at Vegas.com would really like it if you attended their AMAZING BEER EVENT

U guize, left coast brewing made one barrel aged beer TIME TO START A RESERVE SOCIETY.

The kbbs cicerones are out in full force today, no photoshopping needed

TIMEOUT.com tackles sexist beer labels, srs untread ground, Pulitzer prizes on deck

Hey guize, this guy wanted me to share this drinking anthem he made with you

If anyone needs advice, you should consult the naysaying Reddit Trade God

ESQUIRE MAGAZINE IS THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO SAISONS YOU GUIZE

DARK HORSE NATION: FINALLY the mash-tun cleaning antics TV viewers have been demanding all these years

Was RaerErERRER DEUCE released today? Hang on let me consult the experts on the BA trade forums real qui-

HOT CONTEST UPDATE: identify the worst brewery name

BUZZFEED FOUND THE 25 CRAZIEST BEERS NAMES EVER STOP THE PRESSES

Firestone “DDB made the best beer shirt of the entire festival!” /doesn’t even place in the Beer Geek Contest.

TOP TEN CANTILLON HEIST SUSPECTS REVEALED

I swear I hope Mike continues to write content for DDB, it’s funnier than anything I write

This guy gardes his grisettes in a FIVE GALLON korny keg. WHAT A PUSSY!!!1!

This is the type of dogshit I have to field on a regular basis: MIKE RETURNS

LOL at the butthurt regarding Bruery’s full disclosure about these infected porters.

DDB sells out hard, asks $15 for shitty shirts

You Are Not a Brewer, You Are a Panhandler with a Kickstarter Account.

DDB is getting sued by Blue Lobster Brewing, I think?

Redenvelope Glassware Burn

Hunahpu Day Declared Most Successful Brewery Release of 2014

Americans DO NOT brew Lambic, Most Belgians Do Not Either. Almost No One Brews Lambic, Ever

BREAKING NEWS: Pliny the Younger Declared Incredibly Rare, VINNIE CILURZO stands in OWN LINE FOR HOURS FOR A MERE TASTE

GUIZE: Huffington Post Decided that THE MIDWEST HAS SOME OF THE MIGHT BE BEST BEERS PERHAPS TRIED

Anatomy of the Craft Beer Anoos

Tom Tarry is the Beer Czar of the Interwebs

BREWFORALL IS ROUNDIN UP ALL THE HOT BREWBABES BRAH

Went to the grocery store and saw a Pomeranian driving a Lambo. And he was drunk

2014 Tickers be like-

The World as Trill and Misrepresentation

Cigar City Amplitude Sold Out in 20 Seconds and My Labias are Bruised

FINALLY: The Christian Argument to [DONT] Drink Beer

2013 ___________________________

Thousands of Overweight Beer Hobbyists Resolve “NO BEER IN 2014″ and Endure a Record-Breaking 4 Days of Sobriety

Men’s Health are Beer EXPERTS: “50 Beers That We Clearly Don’t Know Shit About

HEADY TOPPER BREWERY CLOSES, all heady declared one-off

Lost Abbey Attempts to Get People to Absolutely Quit Buying Beer

Local Online Retailer Considers Completely Ruining His Entire Fucking Site with a Rare Beer Reelase

Esquire Magazine Delivers some SERIOUS BEER JOURNALISM, complete with DDB response

Beer Advocate Announces Bold New Program: Beer Advocate University, Campus Curriculum Aimed at Beer Education

BREAKING NEWS: No one gives a shit about your opinion of Macrobreweries

DDB Designs Back to School Clothing for Children Who Wish to be Expelled

Pat’s Beer Concentrate: MIO for people with alcoholism and hiking needs

FOOD REPUBLIC SERVES UP SOME HAWT TRADING TIPS

Local Man upset at DDB vedeo revues

BREAKING NEWS: You like hops, no one else able spare a single fuck about your opinions

DDB TO MAKE BOLD NEW SITE INNOVATIONS

Local Man Tries Pliny the Younger, Becomes Beers Expert Instantly

YOUR TOP 10 BEERS OF 2012 LIST IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD

2012_________________________________________________

Beer History is Made Thanks to a Skewed Graph and Uptick of Lackluster Breweries

You Bought Westy 12 and Now You Are Taking it out on Everyone Else

BREAKING NEWS: Local Man Hosts a Tasting with Too Many Fucking People

Local Man Mules Beer, Expects Wild Accolades

B.C.E._______________________________________________

More details as they develop.

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