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Malt couture batch five is live now!

http://bit.ly/MaltCoutureBatch5

I usually hover in the realm of self aware or effacing about things I’ve made but @maltcoutureddb batch 5 is so god damn good. Please listen to it. Malt Couture batch 5 is out now! Click the link in profile to hear me discuss the Goose island infection class action suit, and other things. .

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#craftbeer #beerporn #instabeer #bier #cerveza #birra #podcast #breweries #pivo #instadaily #beergeek #beer #beerdaily #memes #beermemes #vsco #ootd #instadaily #podcast

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Moksa Brewing Roundup: lush, indulgence, haze

For those of you who have been following the decorous career of Derek Gallanosa at Abnormal, and now Moksa Brewing Company, you already know he is a the wagyu pastry massager, gripping and manipulating batter, fingernails grimys with nibs and beans. He also tried to sell us stouts with a fucking pair of sunglasses included, so no one is perfect. I was curious to see if this big move up to Rocklin, vanilla beans in his bindle, would change things. From the 858 to the 916, the dough mixer is still running. First and foremost, I drank Turbinator 2: Judgment Haze and it was really well done. I mean this in a “wow this brewery does more than just push candy bars through mash forks” sort of way. In the regional scheme of things, it is better than Alvarado Street, and as good as the already solid Moonraker, but inferior to Cellarmaker and Seven Stills when its one of their cans that hit. It doesnt reimagine the scope of the genre but the bitter is balanced with grapefruit pith beyond just boring ass creamy oats and stonefruits.

But what about the sticky buns? I know you guys only give a shit about the Wonka shit, so rest assured it is very similar in scope and quality to Abnormal. Prior to the northward I-5 migration, I viewed Abnormal as the best non-BA stout purveyor in the country. Moksa has built upon this but excised much of the flab for a more focused approach. This makes the non-BA stouts even better but gives me pause for how much yarn the BA versions have to knit out those ultra casked versions.

Time will tell. Lush is a bit disappointing given the description, but well made. Allow me to elaborate. This is a well-executed beer that is classic and shows restraint which in itself works against the stupid 12 plato finishing shit we have come to expect from the subversion of the nuts in your cacao genre. It’s moderately sweet but the additives contribute more of an olfactory waxiness, not a meaningful addition to the stout itself, which is shocking given how insane the figures are on this beer. I anticipate that a BA version of this will either be completely thin and wiped out or it will “Urkel to Stefan” and balance out the sweetness and drink like an incredible huge porter akin to Old May Joy from Great Raft. Either way, this is pretty solid but nothing alarming.

Indulgence, however, is nothing short of a complete masterful accomplishment. The fact that this massive beast is this expressive out the gates without any barrel component makes me question whether the BA version is even necessary. When something is this good, why even modify it with wood spoilers and stavey ground effects? This is thick but serves a John Stuart Mill utilitarianism to communicate the greatest good by the evil of residual sugar. It has an ample chassis for coconut, Ghanian and Ecuadorian cacao nibs, and Tahitian vanilla beans to pump out their respective oiliness, sweetness, and fantastic Drumstick cone bouquet. The swallow is long and greasy in a fantastic eclair sort of way, decadent French confectioner nips getting all achy. I both can’t wait for the BA version of this and almost hesitate to think how much more apeshit this can get since this alone is already a cap doffing offering.

The barleywine was wayyyyy too fucking sweet. It was like a parody of English barleywine amplified with Rockford fosgate subs pounding out brown sugar. This begs for barrel aging reforming school to wrangle this Brueryesque base Beer. With some time in captivity I anticipate this cinnamon sugar toast will calm down and become something exceptional. On the up side they somehow integrated that dizzying 17% without sharp edges. Which is impressive.

Let’s see if Moksa can keep this up and get those BALs sticky. We shall see.

Also malt couture batch 5 is live in 30 mins. I examine the goose island class action lawsuit and it’s also a masterpiece of malty podpulling. Our best batch to date.

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LGVLABTOKF: Brewyard Beer Company

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This is repost of sorts, but I needed to get these guys into the LGVLABTOKF canon, so deal with it:

The journey to @brewyardbeerco is an epic quest in itself. Located under a freeway overpass and at the end of a leaky industrial corridor of no fewer than six cranes and forklifts, it is a trek. The space itself is batshit crazy as there was a live band playing Rockabilly, old trucks turned into tables, a wall of toys strewn about, and what appeared to be a MUG CLUB. The beer itself seemed to have that odd German purity emphasis you would see from places in the early 2000s that usually warrants trepidation. The staff is amazing, super knowledgeable and approachable and couldn’t be nicer or more forthright. The fans seem to absolutely love every aspect of this whole affair even if the beer is nonstandard and undercarbed. There wasnt a single IPA on tap, which usually I would applaud, but this felt more oversight than ambitious. The dunkel was clean and without comment. The Weizenbock aged on Mahogany was also just fine. Jewel City was their common and it was really well done, only fitting that Golden Road just miles away also has a Jewel City IPA. Perfect. The entire experience compelled shoulder shrugs but no active complaints. It’s fine. I’m fine.

The name BREWYARD itself seems to get lost under a tide of innumerable similar breweries and beers. So it’s the furthest thing from false advertising. One thing that was clear across the board is that all of these beers are wayyyyy undercarbed, and some seemed to be served extremely cold.  There’s a certain eh, ambiance that you have to embrace coming to a brewery with a fucking live Rockabilly band, children, a wall of toys, and trucks converted into tables:

I mean if you’re on board for all that shit, then you will feel right at home in this weird, secluded gem that the locals seem to love. It bears noting that I spotted not a single person who appeared to be a beer nerd or really give a shit about the beer and everyone seemed to be having a good time, so it depends on what your market segment is.  They appear to be filling this “hey the beer is fine, who cares, Connor put the Jenga blocks down- HARPER HARPER!” sort of consumer.

So where do they rank in the LGVLABTOKF hierarchy?

1. Verdugo West Brewing

2. Dry River Brewing

3. Boomtown Brewery

4. Brewyard Beer Company

5. Indie Brewing Company

The mission continues, I am told I have a mere 79 more Los Angeles breweries to go.

Great.

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Wow. Suarez Family Brewing Qualify Pils is yet another outstanding entry in the resurgent pils paradise.

Look at that god damn sustain. Just look at it. It’s like an American made telecaster just endlessly cascading and redoubling in structured late 90s foam party ebullience. That’s the tip of this fantastic pilsner, yet another entry in the march towards Czech resurgence in domestic markets. In a weird showmanship way, more and more experienced brewers are flipping back to Bavarian bangers to demonstrate their stripped down skill. This is incredibly reminiscent of @hillfarmstead Mary, and the underlying ferm fingerprint seems evident. It is incredibly crisp and refreshing, sourdough starter, ritz cracker, fescue and tufted perennials. The swallow is less traditional German pilsner but doesn’t go as far in herbaceousness [mount Hood?] as the likes of Pivo and it’s hard to dissect this beer as anything but a unified fleeting sensation. The taste to the swallow is nimble and exceptionally well done. My favorite pilsner of all time is @moonlightbrewing Reality Czech and, barring a less substantial mouthfeel, this comes dangerously close to grasping at that regal pilsner robe.

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LGVLABTOKF: Verdugo West Brewing Co.

Next up in “Lets Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today, O K Fine” (LGVLABTOKF) we swing up the I-5 and travel to the mythical land of Burbank, home to an IKEA hive, the Martial Arts history museum, and Verdugo West Brewing Company. At the outset, some might be confused that this not only has nothing to do with Ryan Sweeney’s Verdugo, but there isn’t a Verdugo east, either.

The brewery is nestled in this forgotten area of abutting downtown Burbank that exists in the cold auspicces of the 5 freeway and the 2001 monolith that is the navy blue harbinger of homogenous consumerism, the IKEA compound. It’s not dicey, it feels more like a game without the resources to spawn NPCs. It is profoundly empty with the exception of the music spilling from the taproom and sheet metal plants and fish suppliers. The brewery itself is immaculate, down to business, with crowlers and bottles to go, knowledgeable servers, and a melange of consumers from locals, to beer nerds, to Toluca Lake dipshits.

The reasons this hit my radar last year were twofold: first, Chris Walowski the old head brewer from Smog City was running the hypothetical brewdeck and second, they came out the gates with a canned 12.5% american barleywine, Bear Temper. I respect that panache and gall to brave beer nerds by embracing a powerful, difficult style, in packaging out the gates. The lineup is decidedly Smogesque in its ironic clean focus, even down to the massive barleywine and the haze offerings. The barleywine is pretty solid and offers great malty structure albeit with the expected two handed wallop of warrior/chinook boil additions attendant to non barrel aged barelywine. I hope to god this is in casks because it would be a beautiful canvas to shoot ropey caramel loads upon.

One thing I have to mention, and I am serious, people believe this brewery is haunted. I am not fucking joking. There’s a news story about how some phantasm shows up and I feel like maybe he meant to lurk incorporeal at Phantom Carriage, or maybe the sheer amount of pornograpy being shot in Burbank has melted the brains of locals but, here we are, fucking brewery ghosts.

Their anniversary saison “Turning One” was dead fucking flat like tepid apple juice, but dont worry bottle conditioned bottles are available to go if that 5oz taster of uninspired floral juice and acidity weren’t enough for you. The quarterly IPA was their best beer and it was just pretty good, perfect body and creamy whip O Bang structure, but the taste itself has this crackle of insubstantial Theraflu and Sunny D. I could drink quite a bit of it, but that’s more of a longevity versus depth praise. They had IPAs both on cask and on nitro which was really rad, a page from the old Julian Schrago playbook and the variety is really cool. Their plum sour was shoulder shrug compelling and everything was unremarkable in the classic sense that I have no remarks. There’s cornhole, there’s pretty solid lagers, you can order burritos into the tasting room. What more do you want? LA has 65 breweries and I am sure this will fall somewhere above the median, but they are like 9 months old, calm your tits.

LGVLABTOKF LA Brewery Rankings, this sneaks in and knocks off the top competitors at present, taking the NUMBER ONE SPOT FORM THE FOUR HERETOFORE SUMMARIZED:

1. Verdugo West Brewing

2. Dry River Brewing

3. Boomtown Brewery

4. Indie Brewing Company

Also the floccboi shirt sale ends tomorrow

Teespring.com/floccboi

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LGVLABTOKF: Boomtown Brewery

Next up on “Let’s Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today O K Fine” (LGVLABTOKF) we will travel to the Arts District/Wealthy Childless Professional Loft district to BOOMTOWN BREWERY. I have to admit that I accidentally ignored this brewery and their products for, conservatively, since they opened until now. Be it their name which reminds me of Lord Hobo BOOM SAUCE, to the $375.00 club AT OPENING, to the logo which looks like they took Modern Times and Rare Barrel logos to a fiver artist: I just disregarded these seemingly ubiquitous cans.

This tasting room is pure fucking chaos. When you walk up to a tasting room and there is a bouncer, you know that the four walls can barely contain the fuckery lurking within like a Mimic chest. The inside of this place reminds me of that scene in Pinnochio where Stromboli takes them to that island where the boys destroy art and turn into donkeys. It’s pure madness. Darts abutting shuffleboard, sandwiched in between cornhole, and IDK wood paneled walls and foosball. There could have been lasertag, I didn’t check. In the midst of all this waterparkesque disarray, there’s low tables and leather couches, wood accents and skylights. It’s jarring to take in.

Thankfully the beers will not draw your attention to their quality, so you are free to take it all in. Lime Light was gently carbed and perfect for drinking while putting together Gundam models or any activity where you don’t need to focus on what you are drinking. There are innumerable riffs on this lightly malty, mid 2000s amarillo and CA ALE STRAIN WLP001 MOTHERFUCKERS. Nose Job is the same, except a touch more watery instead of crystal driven, with simcoe tonez instead. Neither will make you look up from your Dan Brown novel or whatever boring people do. Mic Czech was very very good and oddly the least “noteworthy” style on the board was absolutely captivating. I almost didnt pay attention to the mealy mouthed kid who sent Jenga pieces akimbo towards the drunk USC bros. This was exceptional and it made me think maybe they have some kind of Highland Park chops but the rest of the catalogue felt so phoned in, that the recipes may have been procedurally generated by a cicerone scraper bot. The valley beyond is the same thing. It’s all pretty good. A Nissan Altima is pretty good. The Baltimore Orioles are pretty okay I guess.

I always see people crushing these cans. Michael Gabriel loves this shit. I never understood it, now I do. This is for people who dont give a shit, but dont want to be perceived as not <i> knowing </i> shit. This is their market segment, feigned lack of indifference.

This sneaks in solidly mediocre between our two prior contenders, which is wholly appropriate. Here’s the LAeaderboard:

1. Dry River Brewing

2. Boomtown Brewery

3. Indie Brewing Company

Also the floccboi shirt sale ends tomorrow

Teespring.com/floccboi

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LGVLABTOKF: Dry River Brewing

Next up on the “Let’s Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today Ok Fine” (LGVLABTOKF) Journey is Dry River Brewing. This taproom is located conveniently across the street from Indie Brewing Company in a part of LA by the dry canal river that resembles something akin to Gotham City meets Blighttown.

Dry River Brewing has a dangerous ass entry with a step that surely someone has eaten shit upon before and you are greeted like a Myst game: shitloads of doors in a 300sf tasting room. I seriously counted seven doors to various places, Resident Evil houses have more logical layout. It feels like you snuck in somewhere you aren’t allowed. It’s wood paneled with all kinds of doors and sliding apparatus and empty bottles with flowers in them. The marriage of rustic cabin and “boiler room couture” is odd. Let’s get this out of the way, this brewery is fucking expensive, and it doesn’t really make sense.

I ordered a hibiscus saison Michelada and two tasters and my bill was like $24. I got those sweet WordPress clickbuxxx tho so I am not tripping, no expense is too much for me to experience middling tasting rooms. There is nothing standard occurring here. Usually that’s some superlative being lauded out like a dollop of sour cream in cold borscht but I mean this literally. The tasting board reads like a parody of beer nerd browser stroke material with no harbor for normal palates. Here’s an example, I ordered Jagarundi, a $10 pour of stein beer with cocoa and cold brew. None of those elements were a muted aspect of one another, it was a Walmart shouting match between the three elements. It was like A1 steak sauce and bitter oversteeped PEET’S classic burnt roast and edge brownines on the finish. It was bizarre and not in a fun Ale Apothecary “LOL PAUL ARNEY IS SO WACKY” kind of way. William Guayabo was a mouth shattering sour guava beer.

My salivary glands were getting bombed like tropical Dresden and burned out along the mandible. I think this was like a $4 taster so I pushed through it. My $12 saison michelada was legitimately excellent. It was beautiful, perfectly balanced, super refreshing and the tartness matched the Lucas and tamarind flawlessly. I would return to this hot, wooden tasting room just for this radical mixology. Bridges was a pretty solid IPA and ultra refreshing. So their misses coupled with their hits gets them on base. The entire feel of the place is super welcoming and the staff is ultra genial and you feel as though you could strike up a conversation with anyone there. Instead I was a futrive prick sweating in his Rag and Bone shirt and got into my M and left with my stupid fucking judgments, my myopic determinations, ready to serve them up to tens of thousands of people based upon a total of 30 ounces consumed. That’s how I get down, dripping in sweat and latent cowardice, pumping impressions from on high with zero accountability, like anyone gives a fuck about DDB.

So this brewery unseats Indie as the BEST LA BREWERY BY WAY OF LIMITED SAMPLING:

1. Dry River brewing

2. Indie Brewing Co.

Making myself less welcome everywhere I go, with each passing post.