Hey guys, in case you didn’t know it is 12.12.12, what an awesome day for annoying the shit out of the beer community. If you weren’t sick of seeing raindrop pours of Stone Vertical Epics split between 18 mouthbreathing neckbeards, don’t worry, today is the official Westy 12 brick release too.
Wait what are those? It’s this SUPER RARE BEER MADE BY MONKS YOU GUIZE
I am excited that regular joes in the beer scene are getting to try this quad, but I welcome them to tuck their acorn penises away and be quiet about it. The rest of us who have seen some shit in our day, the Bitzy veterans, the ones who spend blood and shell casings on trade boards, we could give a shit less. That brick is for people who
1) have a fear of Fedex
2) have mantits and disposable income
3) who haven’t taken the time to try Rochefort or St. Bernardus or
4) hip hop moguls with diabetes
The rest of us don’t give a shit. You know why? We are too broke from buying things like Murda’D out Stout, Keene Idea, BA Speedway, Cable Car, BA Wee Heavy, Birth of Tragedy, and other amazing beers that wont be gifted by lazy assholes who wear Tommy Bahama shirts and Nextel phones on their belt buckles.
The only good thing about this release is that maybe that absentee stepdad will give you something hyped up that is actually good, instead of a janky ass bottle of Rogue Maple Fetus Creampie Ale, or whatever.
Oh also, fuck pictures of Pappy 20/23/whatever. Just because you drink beers that came from those barrels doesn’t mean that we want to see your shiteating grin like you know someting about bourbon. If you look like you would consistently fail the mile in P.E., you probably aren’t the target bourbon market.