Why Is This Even Happening

I am a gentle soul who has lived upon the sweet succor of unicorn tears until, one fateful day, I was informed that the homeshire had no need for my acrimonius reviews.

I was cast out.

It became apparent that my pot, that one designated for pissing in, was far removed. Henceforth I left and created this refuge for those threadbare souls who sought comedic refuge in a world of serious foodies, corsicans, and winos. Welcome to dontdrinkbeer.com, a place where you are free to drink or not drink whatever you please.

The ASTMD means something, it’s not just random Nickelodeon acronyms:

A: Appearance, what does this look like? Does it amuse you? What, amuse you what, like a clown?

S: Smell, What is that ambrosial fragrance? Is this worth your time? Do they still make Tommy Girl?

T: Taste, once you get your mouth on it, what’s all that lipsmacking taking place? Put that sugar, on your tongue, sticky sticky yum yum.

M: Mouthfeel, Once it is all up in your dome piece, then what? Is it frothy? worthwhile? thin? Does it subside like an Alex Mack marathon? How do you FEEL

D: Drinkability/Overall, alright you drank it, what do you want a medal? Now what? How was it, how do you move on after doing what you just did?

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12 thoughts on “Why Is This Even Happening

  1. You are my fucking hero. Thanks to Healthy Spirits in San Francisco for the point in your direction.

    David McCullough

  2. Pingback: 8 Must-Read Beer Blogs - Passage

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