Tall see this shit? Helena Bonham carter and judy dench up in this 1986 shit?
The book was anachronistic from Forster, the movie was a trifling best picture nod, and this beer is future stout technology .
Too hot, too fusel , mad roasty, sky high needlessly unbalanced abv that gets ratcheted back by the phenomenal coffee and nominal barrel aging
Y’all see Daniel day Lewis is in this shit? Some mid 1980s blatant Rousseau imagery shit, y’all seent this shit?
Whenever I post a whiskey review cervixes get bruised and someone pipes up with urethral hurt complaining for one reason or another. It is either hardcore bourbon heads watching the bow of their beloved ship sink woefully into the bubbling tide, dashed upon the rocks of secondary markets and dipshit foodies and the last thing they need are a bunch of beta casuals crossing over. Alternatively it is hardcore beer nerds who bristle at providing any content about the emptied vessels they covet so hard, WE LOVE PAPPY BARRELS BUT FUCK OFF IF I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THESE PRE-BEER PHASES.
At any rate, the show must go on, gotta drive up engagement, push new users to this smoldering Passchendaele mudpit of death. So today I will be doing a heads up of two vintages of Old Forester Birthday Bourbon, if you don’t like it, go dust the calcified cum shards off of Beerpulse and live how you see fit.
Blue painter’s tape and lab vials? You know this is about to be a pro review.
Old Forester Birthday Bourbon has been made since 2002 and it resides gleefully in that power to dollar wheelhouse next to Elmer T Lee and Weller 107 that people have consistently scooped up. Recently people have lost six degrees of shit over this 2013 vintage, not since it was declared MALT ADVOCATE WHISKEY OF THE YEAR in 2007 have nips throbbed this longingly. So let’s compare the two and sweat it out together.
At this point beer assholes will argue over all kinds of stupid shit.
2013 OFBB 4 BBWs 97 proof:
The color looks a touch lighter than the 2014 and this evidences a tenor for what continues. The nose is floral, cherry, baking spices, red fruit, overall just sweeter than a Korean teenager and even more loyal. The taste isnt especially complex nor is the finish exceedingly long, there’s not real syrupy viscosity to it. Where it excels is a simple burnt brown sugar, candied walnuts, and cinnamon life cereal. Others seem to opine that this has some lengthy finish but I can’t support that with any modicum of 4realzness. For an ostensible $35, i.e. $120 on secondary market, shit is pretty legit.
OH SHIT TODAY IS PIZZA DAY
2014 OFBB, m4m, 97 proof
The color is far darker than the proof and age would let on, and the nose follows suit with a deep woody dryness to it, there’s oak, sawdust, apple pie and a red hots candy finish. It is far less sweet than the 2013 but I suppose it feels “older” or has a touch more depth. The types of masochists who were grinding the bedpost over saz18 will find this to be in that same minty oaky vein. The alcohol is more present, it is drier and more peppery, it forgoes that bakery sweetness and runs a route of oaky dryness.
Overall: people keep creaming their jeans over both of these and, if you can find them at retail it is well worth your time, the shitmouths trying to flip these for Fou Foune x 2 can fuck right off. For the $40 on shelf category you can do far worse, but you can also do far better. In terms of secondary market balling, dropping that $110+ for the 2013 again doesnt seem to make sense when there are so many other formidable choices.
No one gives a fuck, back to your regularly scheduled malt tits programming.
posts like these would get me thrown out of other ultra elite beer discussion societies.
Harvard MBA and JD holder, Jim Koch, bestowed his royal presence upon Boston watering hole, ROW 34, last October evening and his presence was announced with a multitude of coronets melodies rhapsodical and fair, and much fealty was paid, the kissing of rings and gripping of the imperial purple robe, UNTIL EVERYTHING WENT HORRIBLY WRONG: they were not serving the regal beverage crafted by the Craft Beer Highness himself.
ROW 34 BRAZENLY IN VIOLATION OF ROYAL DECREE FAILED TO LEAVE A DEFERENTIAL TAPLINE DEDICATED TO HIS MAJESTY’S BELOVED SAM ADAMS BOSTON LAGER.
Here is a summary of the full story here, as told by Boston Magazine:
http://www.bostonmagazine.com/restaurants/article/2015/01/05/jim-koch-sam-adams-beer/
In short, Row 34, like so many reputable craft beer bars outright noted that they had no interest serving Sam Adams Boston Lager or any of the 87 seasonal offerings which constituted their annual offerings numbering 1,342 discrete beers. “Yeah, no shit, this is news to literally no one except Jim Koch.” Well apparently the beverage magnate allowed his monocle to fall squarely into the lap of a hipster patron and brusque not unlike an 18th century barrister and demanded to inspect these SO CALLED alleged craft beer kegs within their ice house of iniquity. WHAT HE FOUND SHOCKED EVEN HIM: actually good beer that people give a fuck about and enjoy drinking.
It is 2015 and some breweries still cant even triforce
So Jim Koch goes rifling around the kegs warbling something about “freshness” and “Michael Jackson lacing” muttering “Charlie Papazian inverted carbonation” which mystified Lord Hobo owner, Daniel Lanigan. With the outrage presented, you would think Row 34 was serving vintage Pipeworks Kegs or White Birch verticals, when in fact their taplist leaves little to be desired:
I met Daniel Lanigan once, it was at an invite only Cantillon dinner hosted by Jean Van Roy, I can readily assure you, the number of fucks given about Sam Adams at that event was well in the sub-plural range.
You wont fit in everywhere you go, feels ensue
The whole exchange underscores a point that presents an ever-increasing divide between the old guard of Sierra Nevada/New Belgium coveting cicerones from the late 1990’s and the palate of these godforsaken insatiable millennials. While sipping Roggenbiers and English Dark Milds used to hold some luster for people sitting in garages during the Clinton administration, options and tastes have evolved beyond the days of 56k modems and Quake Arena matches.
Those same dipshits who still drink scintillating offerings such as:
CINDER BLOCK RAUCHBIER
INIFINIUM SHELF RESIDENT BEER
JUNIPER IPA
NORSE LEGEND SAHTI
BLACKBERRY WITBIER
are not the same consumers whom Row 34 currently seeks to engender. This is the case for many people new to craft beer. While grocery store “mixer sixer” ballers have their place and demographic, it would be tantamount to busting into a Michael Mena restaurant and demanding to know why there is no fried Pepsi or funnel cakes on the menu. Fear not though, there are innumerable Facebook groups of “[ADJECTIVE] BEER LOVERS” who still drink 1000+ mediocre irrelevant offerings with pride every year, post unviewed Youtube videos for nonexistent audiences, and people who still embrace Beer Advocate as a valuable resource to keep Boston Beer Company a viable concern for the ongoing future.
In sum, the story resounds like an aging Whitesnake fan bursting in on a Mars Volta concert fraught with concern for what THESE KIDS ENJOY THESE DAYS? SAISONS? WHAT EVEN IN THE HOW NOW, IN A BARREL?! If you go to a craft beer bar and see a dude in Oakleys with a Tommy Bahama shirt and a Nextel cell phone clipped to his cargo shorts, you just found your Sam Adams consumer base, unshakeable and fully ready to extol the virtues of Ranger IPA at length, muttering “RESPECT BEER” and blanket “DRINK LOCAL” statements with careless abandon.
This site isn’t for those beer drinkers any more than Lord Hobo exists to pander to that demographic, and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
There’s nothing wrong with appealing to a totally different audience
EDITORS NOTE: This took place last October not Saturday as previously reported, and it occurred at Row 34. Like you gave a shit anyway.
We haven’t heard any peeps from Town Hall in a while, Surly is minding their gosh darn business now that Darkness’s partially barrel aged ass has come and gone, and Remarque would remark that all seemed quiet on the Minnesotan front. Splashing seductively under the surface with a crooked device are these bent paddle boys of out Duluth. I had their Black Ale previously and things were pretty okay I guess. It is nothing I would twist my nips over, but the infrequency of that action is well documented. BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS ONE? Double the blacks, 100% more barrel aging, 100% less Struise involvement. Let’s get after it.
I didnt choose the glasswale life, the BRAT life chose me
Barrel Aged Double Black, Bent Paddle Brewing
Duluth Minnesota, Barrel aged Double Black Ale 10.4% abv
A: As a general note, I never understand the middling classification of “BLACK ALE” when it amounts to marketing poisoning from a consumer standpoint. If you label this a BA stout or BA porter, weak tickers can grind some meat off of that bone. When Uinta Labyrinth dropped an awesome BA Stout on people, no one bought it because BLACK ALE WHAT IS THIS I DONT EVEN. In short, this is somewhere just south of the heft of an imperial stout and somewhere more substantial than a slick porter. It is essentially Central Waters BA Stout in appearance, svelte, no sheeting to note, carb is on point but neither excessive nor menacing.
You know DDB is servicing a very specific audience with a DOUBLE BLACK ALE BARREL AGED review. Super specific and deviant.
S: This exhibits a strange not quite stout or porter countenance replete with carmelized sugar, sticky figs, sugar daddies, mallowfoam, and closes with a sort of caramel aspect. It honestly leans closer towards a barrel aged old ale in many respects, despite the dark appearance, the chocolate and cocoa is placed firmly in the third row seating.
T: This is, again, an exceptionally sweet but easy to drink banger that finally dusts off the chocolate haymaker for the closing back palate. Again it feels like some weird hybrid genre that took that sticky sweet aspects from a BA old ale but then remained agile and dry on the finish. As a result the taste comes across as excessively sweet in prolonged sessions, BRAT or otherwise. It’s like when dudes would swap ACURA engines into a tiny ass CRX’s and everything would go apeshit, it is excessive but strangely manageable. A paradox of sticky saccharine kisses.
when u pop a BA BLACK ALE at a tasting, tickers get that skeptical face on
M: This is sweet at the outset like brown sugar and oatmeal but quickly drops a chocolate note right down your throat and finishes dry and roasty. The barrel character is seamlessly integrated and oddly ramped up the sweet notes immeasurably. I would be curious to see where they sourced these barrels from because it has a decidedly decadent aspect from a base beer that simply gets throttled and cant keep pace. GINGER ROGERS DOING WHAT FRED ASTAIRE DID EXCEPT BARREL AGED AND BACKWARDS IN HEELS.
D: This is easy to drink from a strictly physical standpoint: it is thin and not excessively flabby. However, in that simplicity lies the sticky icky left on stage by its lonesome and after a whole 750ml it becomes cloying and more difficult to drink at higher temperatures. In sum, perfect to share but nothing you want to take on yourself, kinda like a KFC Family meal. You stomach that solo, you’re in for some regrets
crazy mouthfeel, mad coating, pangs of self loathing and decadence
Fully torqued.
Nebc decided to apologize for using the likeness do Gandhi on their cans, seems simple enough right?
Well holy shit did this one go off the rails quickly, the comments section on Facebook got pounded harder than the barrel of Verdun
And then I was all like
And then Ben Kingsley was like
Things got out of hand real quick and the cultural sensitivity of the average New England consumer did not seem to help matters.
1 like = 1 prayer, dipa if u cry evrytiem
Damn I hope this is as good as pappy 12 that inimitable, proofed down, not single barrel delight that everyone be chasing after!!!
Four roses makes the barrels for eclipse and Mexican cake deviants so you know it’s good and super rare, I just figured they threw the juice away and gave the barrels to brewers and only recently pappy 10 decided to keep the bourbon. You learn something new every day apparently 4 roses keeps the whiskey too and doesn’t just dump it after 12 years of aging. I am on my way to becoming a Whiskeronee I just need more online credits.
Run the grid: this bourbon is degassed, no floculation, I get Popsicle stick birdhouse, rhone definitely bourbon made in rhone, unrolled Trojans, and a hint of mercury in retrograde.
Flawless review.
Psyche. Traders on reddit get all tumescent thinking they can trade this for cable car and it’s progeny. At it’s core it’s a fine Berliner, nice acidity, a touch if Riesling presence and no real fruit from the blueberries, more a tannic afterthought and the color alone is demonstrative of same.
But honestly if you are expecting some authentic Blabaer action from an offshelf Berliner, I guess you need to calibrate your hopes and desires. In the end it isn’t a bad beer, but the desire to flesh out a pun has placed in the crosshairs of an inapposite comparison it simply was ill equipped to challenge.
Teepo loves BAZONGAS, he has a mild affinity for fruited American Berliners.
I previously chracterized De Garde as an all or nothing power hitter. If they miss, it is a complete whiff, but god damn when they get a piece of it, they crush them ticks way out into the parking lot. This is an example of the latter and is truly a benchmark for innovation in the quasi-berliner style, moreover wild ales in general.
GIN. CURRANTS. SOUR NIPS DRIPPING WITH ACID. Let’s latch on to that teat and get that fruity goodness.
Crooshing wild ales in that cemetery called Los Angeles.
De Garde Brewing, some Oregon Farm
4% abv, Berliner/american wild ale 4 realzdoe.
A: God damn can you even approach the radiant tweeniness that is this radiant purple. God tier drops and fatty lootz are distributed pell mell. The carb clings like fuchsia running alongside the violet train leaving the station. It looks almost identical to VSB, really and is easily one of the most beautiful beers this side of De Cam oude Kriek. Just phenomenal to behold, like that Anna Kendrick pic you keep crumpled up under your futon.
feels good to take a break from relentless adjunct stout reviews every once in a while
S: This isn’t the sweet bomb you would expect, nor is it the acidic romp you would begrudge. It opens a touch brackish with a light salinity, a tannic cherry presence that feels more floral than actual red5 jolly rancher cherry. Think cherry blossom, not fruit by the foot. It smells phenomenal and refreshing like that dust from when you used to make your own powdered Gatorade OH JUST ME? OH OK I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GREW UP IN ABJECT POVERTY OK FINE. I will note that the closer is oddly herbal and has a touch of juniper from the gin, it isn’t bad by any means and it actually adds a depth to what is essentially a very thin and simple beer, the oak itself gives that crazy depth only presented by those Sole Comp gin barrel releases. OREGON JUST LOVES TO FUCK WITH GIN BARRELS, THEY CANNOT BE REASONED WITH.
T: This again, lacks the overwhelming fruit, and refuses to put forth an intense acid profile and instead hits a balanced middle road of spice, dried currant/black cherry/plum, and floral oakiness like hydrangeas. If you have ever had craisins in a salad, take those and add a spicy pine/fir tree aspect from the gin barrel that seems like it would never work but it gives an incredible layer upon layer of strata to this deceivingly simple beer. In sum, it drinks like a baller ass mexican Fanta, grape flavor.
those purple notes bring you to full release so hard
M: This is very dry and swallows clean with no residual aspects along the mid palate or gumline. It really FEELS in the spirit of a berliner in this respect and I wouldn’t be shocked if the abv fell lower than 4% because it has such a thin body and obviously no waft or fusel aspects. It is so clean that you could drink this before meeting with your parole officer and he would be none the wiser, excepting your fucking burgundy teeth.
D: This is in the intensely crushable range, a 750 disappears faster than singles at Magic City. Rank it next to Live Oak Hef and Stillwater Classique in those beers that just jump into your liver with aggressive deep swallows. It takes a large swallow to bring out all of the nuances and to abate the substantial carb and you are left with your loins pumping to pop more of those currants. Moreover, there simply isnt anything else out there at present that tastes like this, so you owe it to your mom to at least try this. Otherwise you will just be walking about making statements about shit, value appraisals, when deep down everyone knows you havent had a currant gin barrel aged beer, and basically aren’t about that life.
If you have a pretentious wine prick friend, open this for her and shatter her world.
Sorry Dany P, I failed you.
dontdrinkbeer 