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This that Orviamo, the OVO, that SZN, this that new Tillamook Toronto @Sideprojectbrew @degardebrewing

Side Project and DeGarde both are underground germinating rhizomes from a distant alien being, spore technology sent back through the time continuum to alter the double helix of american wild ales as we know them.  Today they spacedock in careless abandon with ORVIAMO.

I remember safe houses down in Tillamook

I remember safe houses down in Tillamook

Both breweries arose around the same time and took palates by storm with small runs of fruited acidic beers that continue to captivate faceholes. A collaboration was a no brainer, the only question was where they would go after the De Say collabo that was, admittedly, really amazing.

Both breweries have their fair share of intensely acidic beers and when I heard about the specs on this one I knew it would go one of two ways : 1) intensely acetic red wine vinegar blowout or 2) some phrnomenal fruit hybrid akin to Hommage/Caracterie Rouge.

Thank god it was the latter and my gumline remained intact, no GERD was transmitted. Thanks Obamacare.

10 bottles, 20 bottles, man fuck it brewer, let's just not even discuss it

10 bottles, 20 bottles, man fuck it brewer, let’s just not even discuss it

The beer pours a beautiful slice of crimson sunset, staves of blood red ruby igniting within the confines of the glass. There is a certain muddiness and burnt sienna to the center like clay courts that rich assholes play tennis upon.

The nose leads with a smattering of the acetic character I initially feared, but thankfully it subsides into a fragrant fruit blossom profile and sublimates into a perfumey fruity bloom like Flowerbomb. Lol referencing perfume on this site is pointless for all these forever alone readers. While there’s a degree of jamminess to the raspberry, black cherry, and blackberry, it is a far cry from straight up fruit beers like New Glarus. The compromise works well to keep what could have been paint removing acidity in check.

It is 20% better than this beer, which was also very tasty, but still less tasty on the tasteyscale metric

It is 20% better than this beer, which was also very tasty, but still less tasty on the tasteyscale metric

The taste is incredibly dry and loaded with fruit tannins, farmers market bites into fruit tarts, currant, cherry, craisins (these go in salads, a salad is- nevermind) cranberry and even a touch of sour plum. YES EVEN SOUR PLUM HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR? The sky high 10% Abv is well integrated and this beer drinks like one of those innumerable 6% fruited bus from them Tillamook boys.

The finish is long and dry like a John Cleese stand up set. The oak maintains a sort of light earthiness that underscores the vibrant fruit. The whole affair is pretty enjoyable, but tough to really justify given the  straight vertical plane of entry.

Orviamo is not better than this beer, TASTYSCALE NUMBERS DONT LIE

Orviamo is not better than this beer, TASTYSCALE NUMBERS DONT LIE

Should breweries get beat up in reviews for having inaccessible products and covetous assholes for consumers? How much of that is crafted by their own marketing macchinstions? Is it just human nature to defile and hoard limited items until the world is steeped in the rancor of inequality? That is probably a topic best served on another day.  I don’t feel like dealing with armchair economist dipshits.

In sum, this is a really tasty beer that would be inimitable if Rodenbach didn’t have world class Caracterie rouge just turding it up on BevMo shelves. This beer is an improvement but how much are you willing to tip up for this back room treatment? You want your cherry fully pitted? Then bring your fuckin checkbook, Cory and Trevor are going in dry.

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@Degardebrewing The Lily, Those Tillamook Ballers Unequivocally Hit Wild Ale Excellence.

If you are like the average person, you might grow a little confused with the 14 different De Garde beers released every month, each with moderately different labels.  Some are Keepers only others are Trappers only, some are sold inside of Trapper Keepers reserved only for Founders members.  It gets confusing.  Other times you will seek out a beer only to find “OH YOU JUST GOT THE REGULAR CHERIMOYA BU? No that one sucks the currant gin Imperial Cherimoya Bu is THE SHIT.”  Well rest assured, this beer is the best beer that De Garde has brewed to date and it enters into the realm of God Tier AWAs so forcefully that I don’t see how Trevor and them boys can outdo themselves after this masterpiece.  Let’s review this 180 (?) bottle jammer in today’s review.

It took me a long. ass. time.  To finally land this.  For some reason when people know they have the best bottle possible, they dont want to trade it away.  WEIRD.

It took me a long. ass. time. To finally land this. For some reason when people know they have the best bottle possible, they dont want to trade it away. WEIRD.

De Garde, Tillamook Cheeseland, OR

7% American Wild Ale with Tempranillo Grapes

As usual, let’s let the FIVER employee do his commercial copy for the beer:
“One of the oldest barrels from our stock, a lambic influenced sour ale.
We added a hefty harvest of whole cluster Southern Oregon grown Tempranillo grapes from a favorite vineyard. Big rustic and spicy fruit aromas with a bracing acidity, and earthy backdrop.
We expect this beer to evolve positively in the bottle over a long period, but the brightness and fruit character is very enjoyable now!”

A:  This looks quite a bit like Grrzz Druiven at the outset and I kinda rolled my eyes with an “OH YOU” thinking I knew what was about to go down.  The carb crackled away with light pinkish marroon foam that subsided quickly.  There was minimal sheeting and it just drops into this ruby purplish amber three point stance and starts poppin for dollars.

If they named this beer BRISTOL it would have left a more sour taste in my mouth

If they named this beer BRISTOL it would have left a more sour taste in my mouth

S:  This is where shit starts to get real, the dry tannic grape aspect wafts like a massive pinot noir and raspberries.  This is certainly dry to the core but it also has a sort of madeline bready sweetness to the nose with a touch of vanilla, on the tip of your nose like an ultra cute first date where you schedule a baking activity because both of you are socially awkward and need a crutch to facilitate interaction before you decide if you want to fuck.  WAIT A SECOND.  There is a bit of ultra lactic Cascadey shit going on here like Cascade strawberry, but I guess I will give it a pass depending on how it tastes.

T:  PASS OBTAINED. This delivers the most nuance of any De Garde offering to date and never is hamfisted in its pucker, or too brash in its acidity.  In a staggering move, this De Garde impresses by sheer balance and moderation.  If your face was melted by the Ambrees and you need speech therapy, this will be your Esuna.  The grapes are present like a blend of Alexander the Grape and Strawberry Short Cook otter pops, you get a smuckers strawberry jamminess, acidity that serves to compliment instead of dominate, and a lingering tannic closer that tells your stepdad that he can sleep on the couch tonight.  It is a beautiful moment.

Gotta offset those AWA kCALs

Gotta offset those AWA kCALs

M:  I was bracing myself at each swallow for this to pull off the mask and turn into some punitive Upland dominatrix just stepping on my cubes, making me beg for less acidity because I BEEN A BAD BLOGGER O FUK YA. But that thankfully never happens.  It provides this dry, yet jammy execution like a well done Rose, bursting with fruit and then dropping off the moisture cliff like when your Sig Ep buddy TRAVIS tries to guess women’s bra sizes at the club.

D:  This is exceptional through and through.  It stands head and shoulders above the whole De Garde canon, and approaches that near impossible rank of Southampton Black Raspberry Lambic, Cable Car Kriek, Pipeworks Blue Lady and all the other usual suspects you see listed as flawless iterations of the AWA genre, if maybe a touch below. If for some reason you can’t land this I would suggest uhhh, taking Omniscience and Proselytism, mixing it with Cerveza Tempranillo and a splash of Atrial Rubicite.  Landing all three of those would probably take less than this elusive minx. BUT WHY GILD THE LILY AMIRITE?

Whenever someone talks about Oregon, this is what I imagine.

Whenever someone talks about Oregon, this is what I imagine.

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@Degardebrewing Currant Gin Bu, 2015 Already Bouncing like Juicy J

I previously chracterized De Garde as an all or nothing power hitter.  If they miss, it is a complete whiff, but god damn when they get a piece of it, they crush them ticks way out into the parking lot.  This is an example of the latter and is truly a benchmark for innovation in the quasi-berliner style, moreover wild ales in general.

GIN. CURRANTS. SOUR NIPS DRIPPING WITH ACID.  Let’s latch on to that teat and get that fruity goodness.

Crooshing wild ales in that cemetery called Los Angeles.

Crooshing wild ales in that cemetery called Los Angeles.

De Garde Brewing, some Oregon Farm

4% abv, Berliner/american wild ale 4 realzdoe.

A:  God damn can you even approach the radiant tweeniness that is this radiant purple.  God tier drops and fatty lootz are distributed pell mell.  The carb clings like fuchsia running alongside the violet train leaving the station.  It looks almost identical to VSB, really and is easily one of the most beautiful beers this side of De Cam oude Kriek.  Just phenomenal to behold, like that Anna Kendrick pic you keep crumpled up under your futon.

feels good to take a break from relentless adjunct stout reviews every once in a while

feels good to take a break from relentless adjunct stout reviews every once in a while

S:  This isn’t the sweet bomb you would expect, nor is it the acidic romp you would begrudge.  It opens a touch brackish with a light salinity, a tannic cherry presence that feels more floral than actual red5 jolly rancher cherry.  Think cherry blossom, not fruit by the foot.  It smells phenomenal and refreshing like that dust from when you used to make your own powdered Gatorade OH JUST ME? OH OK I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GREW UP IN ABJECT POVERTY OK FINE.  I will note that the closer is oddly herbal and has a touch of juniper from the gin, it isn’t bad by any means and it actually adds a depth to what is essentially a very thin and simple beer, the oak itself gives that crazy depth only presented by those Sole Comp gin barrel releases.  OREGON JUST LOVES TO FUCK WITH GIN BARRELS, THEY CANNOT BE REASONED WITH.

T:  This again, lacks the overwhelming fruit, and refuses to put forth an intense acid profile and instead hits a balanced middle road of spice, dried currant/black cherry/plum, and floral oakiness like hydrangeas.  If you have ever had craisins in a salad, take those and add a spicy pine/fir tree aspect from the gin barrel that seems like it would never work but it gives an incredible layer upon layer of strata to this deceivingly simple beer.  In sum, it drinks like a baller ass mexican Fanta, grape flavor.

those purple notes bring you to full release so hard

those purple notes bring you to full release so hard

M:  This is very dry and swallows clean with no residual aspects along the mid palate or gumline.  It really FEELS in the spirit of a berliner in this respect and I wouldn’t be shocked if the abv fell lower than 4% because it has such a thin body and obviously no waft or fusel aspects.  It is so clean that you could drink this before meeting with your parole officer and he would be none the wiser, excepting your fucking burgundy teeth.

D:  This is in the intensely crushable range, a 750 disappears faster than singles at Magic City.  Rank it next to Live Oak Hef and Stillwater Classique in those beers that just jump into your liver with aggressive deep swallows.  It takes a large swallow to bring out all of the nuances and to abate the substantial carb and you are left with your loins pumping to pop more of those currants.  Moreover, there simply isnt anything else out there at present that tastes like this, so you owe it to your mom to at least try this.  Otherwise you will just be walking about making statements about shit, value appraisals, when deep down everyone knows you havent had a currant gin barrel aged beer, and basically aren’t about that life.

If you have a pretentious wine prick friend, open this for her and shatter her world.

If you have a pretentious wine prick friend, open this for her and shatter her world.