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The first Barleywine is Live glass drops next month: Cease to Desist

The first BIL glass drops next month: Cease to Desist

A DDB/ @permanenthangover collab. For sale online and at @jwakefieldbeer Wakefest in limited numbers. #barleywine #cnd #bil #praisemaris #otters #walrus

More info soon

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Batch 26 of Malt Couture is now on draft! The apology episode: sooory not sorry

Batch 26 of Malt Couture is now on draft

Canada and Sweden and dead babies and missing mounties and Cable Cars and Ricola ginger beer and mean beertenders oh my.

We drink a god damn STRAFFE HENDRIK who even does that? What year is this.

http://bit.ly/MaltCoutureSorryNotSorry

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DDB and Highland Park collaboration: barrel aged Barleywine Taking Donations, review of the three deviants

Being a beer critic is a low-risk low-reward paradigm. You take the vibrant product that someone else created, distill it into actual piss, and then point out faults. It is inherently DEconstructive and never appears productive. You co-opt someone else’s work and your entire art is based upon deriding the vulnerability of their efforts. Industry niceties even effectively bind them with a gag order from responding. I am all too aware of the scope of my “art.” if all else fails, you can envelop yourself in a shroud of intersubjectivity and negate all in criticism. Brewers do not have this luxury.  Brewing beer is an inherently productive act, in the Platonic “pursuit of the good” sort of manner. You are coordinating billions cells to create culture, to influence culture, and thereby modify Culture. With the highest risk of creation comes the vulnerability of presentation, injecting sticky life liquid into a crowd of petulant hateful consumers whose own confirmation of self-worth is the metabolization of everything a someone else has made. The consumer chews through and emits toxicity not unlike the propagated cultures themselves. There is a solipsistic balance to the process. It’s a fantastic dance. Today I grip the mash paddle and the Moleskin as a pulpit of ultimate self-indulgence, the cringe of deconstructing something that I helped create: Highland Park Brewing’s Taking Donations.

There are three variants of this English Barleywine: single barrel brandy, single barrel bourbon, and a component blend of the two casks. Let’s review each in turn:

Single Barrel Brandy

I enjoyed this the least out of the three variants, but the reasons for that are complicated. This is extremely unique and meticulously crafted. The cask profile just sweats beads of brandy profile throughout and the double helix of malt creates something worthy of your contemplation. On one side the brandy presents waves of plum, red fruit, currant, black cherry, and fig. It is intensely fruity and never lets a saccharine profile dominate. In some respects it feels spiritually akin to a red wine quad, but the malt helps to provide depth and structure to prevent it from entering a vinous zone. The barley component pulls it back into reality and ends up feeling that an exceptionally well done version of North Coast Brandy Old Stock. The body is a touch diaphanous, never domineering but providing enough substance the oaky bread pudding swallow to unfold, and this is the worst version.
Single Barrel Bourbon
I enjoyed this the most out of the three treatments and this is very enjoyable. The body across all three has the Highland Park fingerprints all over it, the clean drops, the tight lines, all flab excised down to exactly what is needed and nothing further. For the reasons that some Floridian breweries can lean upon their residual sugar and THICCCC profiles, this pulls the sled entirely based upon the massive cask presence and pure restraint. The beer is a marriage of Kuhnhenn Bourbon Barrel 4th Dementia and Adam from the Wood. It has an amazing lacquer and planed lumber aspect united somehow with creme brulee shell. I suspect the wortmouthed contingency will complain that the body is too svelte, or that the carb is too gentle. Perhaps adhering to the standards of Munster Indiana gourmands isn’t the pinnacle of fermented aspirations. Despite the lack of rye, it drinks akin to Sazerac with silky mellow carb and a lively Dr Pepper meets old fashioned execution. Lauding praise feels extremely gauche throughout, thanks for checking in, I am well aware.
Brandy and Bourbon Blend
I suspect this is the variant that people will enjoy the most. It is a pure speakeasy Goldilocks, maintaining the awesome fruit character of the brandy and marrying it with the expressive oaky bitterness of the bourbon and the two work in tandem beautifully. Fifteen months of oak aging would seem excessive in the stout world, but for the indefatigable barleywine, this was the sweet meets stave spot. You will have no problem killing these 500ml bottles alone, but the frustratingly small run is the real bottleneck. I hope that there are consumers out there who try this and perhaps give barleywine another chance. It is an overlooked style and this is a fantastic expression across the board of what the style is capable of. I am very proud of what the guys at Highland Park Brewing have accomplished with this one but I need to go take a shower after reviewing this and wash off all the braggadocio and hubris and stench of self-congratulation. This review is inherently dripping in bias and I would urge you to try these and form your own opinion as this perspective is hardly impartial, I’m just over here doing my best okay.
The introspection feels filthier than the brewday itself and I think I dislocated my deltoid patting myself on the back so hard. At least I have waves of inevitable complaints to look forward to, the endless distillation of piss crashing in waves upon my DMs. What a time to brew alive.
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Finally, Janky DDB Hats are on Sale: Dad, Beanie, Snapback and Trucker.

After keg washers asking for years, I finally made trifling DDB hats. Beanies, SnapBacks, trucker and Dad varieties, plenty of styles to serve your creep level. No, we do not have five panel or bucket hats, gotta keep those floccbois at bay. Link in profile, the new ddb gritty realism shirt is going to print soon. Buy your loved ones some virginity defense apparel this holiday season.

https://teespring.com/stores/dont-drink-beer

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2018 Goose Island Bourbon County Proprietors is a Chocolate Monster

Bourbon County Proprietors is always a gamble. Sometimes you get incredible offerings like last year’s mind blowing banana bangers, and something you get well…2016 chili nightmare afterbirth. It’s always  a PROP BET. For 2018 it seems like Goose Island wanted to hedge their risks and go with something relatively proven in the adjunctive world: cocoa nibs, chocolate, and then additional cocoa nibs.  This seems like something out of the 2012 Bruery playbook, or a “restrained” iteration of what we are seeing Florida indulge in on a regular basis. 

Right out the gates; this beer is a fudgy monster. It feels more viscous, has a touch thicker sheeting, and it got them cellulite tree trunk legs on the glass. The nose is a sticky shoryuken that upper cuts you with raw brownie pugilism. It overpowers the underlying barrel and oak and instead puts all its Madden points into LAVA CAKE. The taste follows suit and offers a bevy of flavors albeit all from the same Godiva dimension: Nestle Crunch, 85% cacao Whole Foods register chocolate, whipped batter, and closes with a chocolate Klondike sort of thing. If you really enjoy the depths of chocophilism like a recent divorcee, then fire up BLUE BLOODS and get to licking the bowl.
This does a lot right but it feels regressive predicated on marketing.  They start with a world class base beer with depth and nuance, oak merged with tobacco, then lay down chocolate berber carpet over those oaky hardwood floors. If you got into beer 18 months ago, this will feel welcoming and safe. You will feel relevant while you read the ingredients aloud and confirm your expert palate by noting YES I GET THE CHOCOLATE. In lieu of grace, this goes Tampa to the max and sprays cocoa body spray, masking the delicate edges of the base beer. It’s still good, but it is good in like a Dwayne Johnson in SKYSCRAPER type of good: not something feel ethical consuming.
This will likely fall in the dead middle of the BCBS lineup for 2018 simply because it is so safe in every way. It validates people who don’t know anything, it wont upset the people who do. Everyone gets a brownie trophy, everyone feels special and alive.
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Forager Brewery Breakfast Nook Sounds Insane on Pancakes, But Somehow Pulls It Off

Before I tried anything from @foragerbrewery I was suspicious AF. First you had the seemingly artificially throttled bottlecount on some classic Midwest “held back bottles” nonsense. Next, I saw the label for Breakfast Nook: coconut, maple, coffee, roasted cocoa nibs, vanilla beans and cinnamon. It reads like something from the Great British Baking Show. Couple this with an imperial porter and rampant hometown favoritism and the melange of hypeboiz seemed to be complete…and then I tried it. Good god this is a fantastic beer. Let’s state two glaring flaws up top, this beer is almost dead flat, has extremely low retention, zero lacing, and the mouthfeel is languid. Imagine how good a beer has to TASTE to redeem itself from the foregoing.

The nose out of the Gates has waves of Ferraro rocher, coffee frap, toffee blizzard and a fantastic IHOP OTPHJ of maple goodness. The coffee never dominates, nor does the maple, and it operates something like that movie Love, Actually where the ensemble is better than a narrow iris. Except this is amazing and not some fragmented British romcom. The mouthfeel is thin even for an imperial porter but it never pulls the sticky rug from under the tower of jenga adjuncts placed atop. Giving less body likely improved the net experience because it didn’t give a grapple spot for the coffee or maple to completely take over, just like it always does. It’s almost laughable to praise “integration” or “balance” when you look at something like Breakfast Nook on paper, but it somehow excels by uniting an entire baking aisle in a unified sticky chorus. I just wish I didn’t share this with that old balsamicphile @beersnobbin , I could have def drilled this classy brunch solo.