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2013 vs 2014 Old Forester Birthday Bourbon aka that OFBB B-Day Round Off

Whenever I post a whiskey review cervixes get bruised and someone pipes up with urethral hurt complaining for one reason or another.  It is either hardcore bourbon heads watching the bow of their beloved ship sink woefully into the bubbling tide, dashed upon the rocks of secondary markets and dipshit foodies and the last thing they need are a bunch of beta casuals crossing over.  Alternatively it is hardcore beer nerds who bristle at providing any content about the emptied vessels they covet so hard, WE LOVE PAPPY BARRELS BUT FUCK OFF IF I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THESE PRE-BEER PHASES.

At any rate, the show must go on, gotta drive up engagement, push new users to this smoldering Passchendaele mudpit of death.  So today I will be doing a heads up of two vintages of Old Forester Birthday Bourbon, if you don’t like it, go dust the calcified cum shards off of Beerpulse and live how you see fit.

Blue painter's tape and lab vials? You know this is about to be a pro review.

Blue painter’s tape and lab vials? You know this is about to be a pro review.

Old Forester Birthday Bourbon has been made since 2002 and it resides gleefully in that power to dollar wheelhouse next to Elmer T Lee and Weller 107 that people have consistently scooped up.  Recently people have lost six degrees of shit over this 2013 vintage, not since it was declared MALT ADVOCATE WHISKEY OF THE YEAR in 2007 have nips throbbed this longingly.  So let’s compare the two and sweat it out together.

At this point beer assholes will argue over all kinds of stupid shit.

At this point beer assholes will argue over all kinds of stupid shit.

2013 OFBB 4 BBWs 97 proof:

The color looks a touch lighter than the 2014 and this evidences a tenor for what continues.  The nose is floral, cherry, baking spices, red fruit, overall just sweeter than a Korean teenager and even more loyal.  The taste isnt especially complex nor is the finish exceedingly long, there’s not real syrupy viscosity to it.  Where it excels is a simple burnt brown sugar, candied walnuts, and cinnamon life cereal.  Others seem to opine that this has some lengthy finish but I can’t support that with any modicum of 4realzness.  For an ostensible $35, i.e. $120 on secondary market, shit is pretty legit.

OH SHIT TODAY IS PIZZA DAY

OH SHIT TODAY IS PIZZA DAY

2014 OFBB, m4m, 97 proof

The color is far darker than the proof and age would let on, and the nose follows suit with a deep woody dryness to it, there’s oak, sawdust, apple pie and a red hots candy finish.  It is far less sweet than the 2013 but I suppose it feels “older” or has a touch more depth.  The types of masochists who were grinding the bedpost over saz18 will find this to be in that same minty oaky vein.  The alcohol is more present, it is drier and more peppery, it forgoes that bakery sweetness and runs a route of oaky dryness.

Overall: people keep creaming their jeans over both of these and, if you can find them at retail it is well worth your time, the shitmouths trying to flip these for Fou Foune x 2 can fuck right off.  For the $40 on shelf category you can do far worse, but you can also do far better. In terms of secondary market balling, dropping that $110+ for the 2013 again doesnt seem to make sense when there are so many other formidable choices.

No one gives a fuck, back to your regularly scheduled malt tits programming.

posts like these would get me thrown out of other ultra elite beer discussion societies.

posts like these would get me thrown out of other ultra elite beer discussion societies.

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RYE COLOMBIAN LADDER MATCH: Sazerac Rye vs. Thomas H. Handy, The HNNNNG is real.

Teflon bullet proof the lambo, making excellent life decisions.  Saz6 got drilled harder than Sasha Grey.

Teflon bullet proof the lambo, making excellent life decisions. Saz6 got drilled harder than Sasha Grey.

Saved a drop of the regular saz to pour out respect for some distillers lost around the way.  Free C Murder.

Alright, much to the chagrin of whiskey kids who actually know what they are doing, DDB continues to review ryes with his 9th grader palate acting like they grown. Let’s break these 17s into rock bags in today’s review:

MFW traders offer up Nuthuluululolz for THH.

MFW traders offer up Nuthuluululolz for THH.

Sazerac Rye, Poverty Edition, $29.99 bottle

6 years old, 90 proof

This is the basic ticker entry level rye which admittedly smokes most other ryes in the category (Templeton, etc.) but how does it hold up against the aggro, uncut, straight dro THH? Well this is an admittedly beautiful rye with deep caramel notes that seems older/darker than the 90 proof/6 year would belie.  The nose is cinnamon, red hots, baker’s spice and cocoa powder, some lively crackle and white pepper on the finish.  It seems far more complex than some proofed down shit in the same segment and seems to stand closer to Michter’s rye in execution.

The taste is smoothe, no need for ice cubes or water, shit is already prepped RIP to Nate Dogg but no need to regulate.  The taste is sweet at the inception like melted caramel, spicy black pepper, imperceptible abv, a honey closer and syrupy coating along the bitter zones.  It is admittedly very tasty and could go toe to toe with far more expensive offerings like the jet fuel 2 year Willett Rye that costs almost twice as much.

U TALKING SHIT ON BUFFALO TRAEC? dont get socked fool. BTW what is a heaven hills?

U TALKING SHIT ON BUFFALO TRAEC? dont get socked fool. BTW what is a heaven hills?

Thomas H. Handy, 6 year uncut rye, 129.2 proof

Previously this offering received the most attention in the BTAC lineup but with Saz18 having abysmally low counts and WLW essentially flipping the script on what wheaters are capable, this bottle has been criminally overlooked in 2014.  But is it worth the universal praise? Is this just BTAC marketing and hype? IS BUFFALO RUNNING GAME ON US LIKE SOME 2am TINDER FLOOZIE?

In short: no.  This is fucking phenomenal.  If we are talking comparable priced items in the realm of Michter’s 10 rye and Willett 8 year rye, both phenomenal offerings, this unloads a full banana clip like an ACR bushmaster. The color is this tarnished bronze like gladiator codpiece, radiant at the edges like honey and legs longer than Taylor Swift.

When readers hook up spirits you have no business owning its like THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

When readers hook up spirits you have no business owning its like THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

This is over 2/3rds alcohol and, while present, there’s more to love in this Rye’s eharmony profile.  There’s a load of wafflecone, soft serve vanilla ice cream, nutmeg, and a mounds bar closer.  The waft doesn’t knock you out like fight night. Shit is deceptive, and things get fully turnt very quickly.

The taste is where the heater was hiding, laying low waiting for you to start slipping.  It immediately hits the sweet zone with an anesthetic dullness that coats substantially crackling along the bitter zones with a maple syrup and apple pie lighting shit up like Charlie Sheen in Platoon.

While you CAN drink this neat, and I would love to be that hard as nails reviewer, this opens up beautifully and is vastly superior to Saz6 once a splash of water is added.  Not down to 90, but lets call it 9 eyedrops full. Then shit is beautiful, its like in shitty romcoms where the clearly hot girl changes out of overalls and takes her glasses off.  We all knew she was legit, this just ups the appreciation into more normative levels.

The negs make distillers want you more, instill insecurity at the outset of a whiskey review.

The negs make distillers want you more, instill insecurity at the outset of a whiskey review.

SCIENCE VERDICT RESULTS:

Ok so big shocker, the one that costs four times as much is better.  But the important thing is that the valley is not nearly as wide as the Stagg Jr vs. George T Stagg.  In fact, once water is added, it’s like being in the same club except the THH has a table with ratchets hanging all over.  But it’s kinda the same night just scaled up.

WHAT DO I KNOW I JUST TOOK TWO SHOTS AND RELIED UPON MY THESAURUS THIS ENTIRE TIME.