One of the shittier counterfeit KBBS bottles I have seen to date, but I can probably still land a See the Stars with it.
Category Archives: Uncategorized
Guize Let’s Review Four Beers from Saint Archer before the Storage Wars Marathon Starts.
Like baseball, the beer world is a sphere with a tight orbit. Revolutions come and go, epochs arrive within the space of a year, and sunsets cascade endlessly like so many sliders strewn across the horizon. As a result, beer consumers are assholes with elephantine memories. If a beer was infected during the Bush administration, you’ll be damn sure someone who wasn’t even into craft beer at that time will be spouting petty epithets. LOL BC FLAT ABEY and Hellshire II amirite? You can even give full refunds for beers a and there will be some dumbass fresh out of undergrad who wants to still mention BURERY IS QC PROBLEM.
Montage Pale Kids
This is the culture we live in, petty mouthbreathers who don’t often forgive and even more rarely forget.
In the spirit, today I want to review some beers from a brewery that had a PR face plant earlier this year, to give them a fair shake and see if the product warrants overlooking some baseball comments. Full disclosure, I don’t even sports so I could give a shit less what stadiums peddle what beers at which huge arenas funded by public money then named after shitty corporations. I care about sugar water, not vicariously living through people in better shape than I am playing professional versions of elementary school recess diversions.. Just so we are on the same page.
Let’s review some shelfies today, for a change of pace:
that Bt1 glass, a ghost from the past.
St. Archer pale ale:
Ok get ready for your nutsack to detonate with a de novo beer of complete first impression. No way, a California ale strain with two row, cascade, simcoe and citra. I guess I can’t really fault a simple design since that is the archetype for a million pale ale iterations in closet carboys as we speak. The beer is admittedly pretty if not a touch dark in hue to my sensibilities, but maybe this is one of those beers that craves a can format. The nose is more aserose, chive, a bit of melon, and a waft of ride on lawn mower. Pretty standard affair with nothing discernibly bad or noteworthy either.
The taste is watery, a bit of sap and pine, some shallot and a chard finish. Nothing that will give you pause one way or another. At a certain point what the fuck do you really want? Should every pale be zombie dust and edward? Can’t we just stop arguing over finances and agree that your mother in law cannot stay with us? This beer is fine, you could do worse, or you could pay less and buy Lagunitas and be in materially unchanged position. Who gives a shit.
I drank this poolside to test the marketing on “normal” people and it was received with much fanfare. I am a jaded old hermit with long balls.
Regular Ass IPA
WELP, if you loved the pale ale, you will really love the slightly larger version with more rear passenger legroom. This is better than the pale because of the finish having a touch more malt to balance out the vegetal pale ale aspects and the mouthfeel isn’t a water park affair replete with splish, splash attendant thereto. In the most crowded craft beer segment, this offers up an offering safer than a Latter Day Saint using two condoms.
AN excellent beer for BOOM CUP, if you know what that is. U betr axe sumbuddy
In a blind IPA tasting this will hit the dead median by courting palates with accessibility over originality. It is world’s better than Sam Adams ipas or New Belgium’s Ranger, but from a smaller craft segment it has a tough time actively competing against Pizza Port or Three Floyds’ comparable offerings. Again, nothing to avoid and a solid grocery store pick. Price point is there, product is there, what more do you want from DDb? We live in a world awash with choices, so why are you making out with your second cousin? SHE IS CLEARLY ON MOLLY.
Now things are heating up.
Double ipa:
One thing that you begin to notice while working through the St Archer lineup in reverse ethanol content, lowest to highest, is that you see that they maintain that Three Floyd’s sort of existence where they shine the most in the upper registry. Their marketing and branding seems wholly focused on some fresh fun San Diegan experience but I don’t buy it. Like those gems Arctic Panzer Wolf, Deadnaught, and Space Station Middle Finger, their Dipas are where the tires meet the asphalt. The St. Archer double ipa takes the muted aspects from the regular ipa and ramps them up beautifully. The malts are still restrained and provide just enough volume for that hoppy internal combustion to occur. It is sappy, pithy, a nice sweetness to the middle body that underscores the pine and baby kale. The tropical fruits sit idly in the backseat asking how much longer, kicking the alpha acid seat making you wish you opted for those coney flip down monitors in your India pale Aledyssey. It almost seems massively out of place relative to the rest of their gentle catalog and its a shame you don’t see it being pushed nearly as hard as the sessionable offerings. Typical. Hide the best shit, pump the forgettable offerings aka that Fremont Brewing strategy.
shit gets real when that TB2.0 globe hits the scene.
Mosaic Ipa
Alright now to the logical conclusion of this “saint bigger is saint better” archetype. The mosaic ipa is a massive 9% Abv arsenal of cut grass, wheatgrass, lemon zest, cantaloupe, and cut firewood cords. This one is not just phenomenal within the subset of the St Archer catalog, it is great in the global sense relative to all other Dipas, mosaic or otherwise. I know you will do a spit take but hear me out. This is seriously awesome.
Part of me feels like they dropped the marketing ball once again in a major way. At first glance this looks like a mild riff on the existing ipa, but no, this is an altogether different beast. The mouthfeel coats substantially and burns off under the press of its own oily disposition. They really should have done a better job establishing that this is damn near on the rails to bring a triple ipa, not just some standard ipa. It feels weird lambasting a brewery for not doing a better job explaining why their shit is amazing, since most self aggrandizing marketing is laughably bad. But seriously, the average consumer has no idea what they are passing over, and how could they? This is a hulking giant of alpha acid firepower that craves your oral embrace.
I know most Vermont dipshits think DIPAs need to look like Donald Duck orange juice to be good. settle down.
In sum, St Archer is silently creating some awesome beers and their marketing team needs to direct consumer attention to these very relevant developments. No one gives a shirtless uncle fuck about the blonde, or the innumerable predictable riffs on a california ale strain. If they are gonna make massive delicious beers like this mosaic (d)ipa, then sign me up for that and leave baseball and the low abv bullshit off my radar.
Tl;dr the mosaic is awesome so buy it, baseball isnt srs bznss.
Bruery Levuds, confession, Arbre, Chronology 12, and melange 11. sure, Why not.
Since people constantly ask me about this shit, here goes nothing:
Levuds: this is Duvel spelled backwards and if you pour this beer it will try to acquire all the other beers. It’s a solid clean dry belgian golden that seems like it has some noble hops, abv is well masked, it is well done if not butthole shattering. It seems better than that OG version from back in the day.
Confession 2015: I loved this back in 2012 when it was called “Riesling blend sour” and it is even better this time around. Essentially served dead flat, this is a phenomenal spritzer of imperceptible abv and white grape, touch of vanilla and lemon zest. It is hardly sour and more wine forward than anything I have had since Oui Oui. One of the best of the year from Bruery hands down.
Arbre light char: a forgettable brownie batter nose, light roast and coffee toastiness that closes short and fudgey. Nothing to give you pause, it is fine I suppose.
Chronology 12: this is basically SHASTA Melange 3 and I feel this is the oak breaking point and would prefer a C9 as a midpoint. For the money though, massive phenomenal beer that will stand the test of time. Never too heavy handed or flabby, boozy and a vaporous caramel raisin finish. If you can’t grab a m3, this is a fantastic substitute. The real issue is that that anniversary beers are so similar and good, this gets pulled down in the undertow.
Melange 11: anise. Cinnamon. Dates. What in the actual fuck. I expected this to be a nightmarish old ale, instead it is a wholy tolerable and uniquely weird wild ale. The nose smells like grape KOOL aid. The taste is a novel flanders red meets bourbon soaked merlot. All of the spices are not present thank god. It isn’t incredible, but it fails to be so horrible to warrant comment either. I have had plenty of worse “standard” wild ales from other breweries. Split a bottle, pop in Battletoads, let the rage flow.
HEY WHAT ABOUT TONELERRIE, SOUREN, and GYPSY TART
fine. I guess we can do that shit too.
Tonelerrie rue: a secret about this beer is that it essentially has previously beer released too young to mediocre fanfare. Those in the know laid these bangers down for 9 months and enjoyed their bone dry gusher. With oak ferm and all oak aging this beer is killing it this round, from a brewery not exactly praised for their farmhouse roots. You get esters and oak on the nose, nothing too batshit. The taste follows through with a well attenuated, clean, dialed in and refreshing mouthfeel. In terms of deals sure this is no oak aged logsdon, but still damn tasty.
SOUREN: this is a more substantial riff on a belgian golden, light honey and tannic grapey sweetness. It is fine, nothing insane, nothing acetic or deficient. On a side note: holy fuck at 10% this makes consecration seem overstated, feed this to your cougarsonly.com Gf. It is croosh and delicious, albeit forgettable in the scope of the highly competitive wild ale realm.
Gypsy tart: a shittier version of regular ass Oud tart. Light acetylaldehyde, sole copper and burnt sugar.
There you have it. Confession is a mandatory ISO. Tonelerrie is a rad extra. Everything else is pretty okay. I GUESS.
Shameless apologist homer signing off.
DDB Takes You to Blonde Barleywine Hell and Back with Helldorado. At least FW doesnt block DDB…yet.
Helldorado
BLONDE BARLEYWINE BRUH, not BJCP certified
13.2% abv
“An Imperial Blonde Ale or Blonde Barley Wine; Helldorado has the lightest color of any of the beers in our barrel program but carries a great deal of interesting barrel character: vanilla, light char and amazing lavender-honey notes. Rich boozy honey liqueur character and loads of smooth sweet toasted malt to finish. The El Dorado hops dance in the background without playing a dominant role in the flavor profile. This beer gets better and better the longer it is in barrel.”
Strawberry blonde. I GOT BARLEY IN MY SCALP BREX.
Oh blonde barleywines. Hot on the heels of the literally inimitable “central coast quad” comes this novel, unclassifiable gem from them Paso ballers. I remember back when this was a component beer blended into so many FW anniversary beers, I was like “interesting, this would be a daunting bomber to take down solo” and yet here we are.
My anticipation was to get something in the realm of ba Old Numbskull or BA Behemoth, with more wheaty gristy interplay. The result in actuality falls closer to something like Bruery’s White Chocolate or White Oak Sap or god forbid, Surly’s nightmarishly honey coated Syxx.
It isn’t particularly blonde, but it does have a certain beautiful ruddy sandy blonde, Sunkist tanned body to it. This is the lifeguard of barrel aged beers. Flexed, toned, but still massive enough to pull you out of bad situations, strong enough to put you in even worse situations. Drink this by the pool, you might drown, that barleywine life is full of risks, what can I tell you?
The nose is sadly sweeter than I could have demanded. There are waves of Carmelized agave nectar , Bit O Honey, Graham cracker, mallow foam, and an AARP bowl of Werther’s originals sitting on Gamgam’s lap. It doesn’t come across as overly saccharine, but there is a touch of glazed donut from the malts and barrel interplay that an “average” consumer will give the same tired “holy smokes! You can’t even call this beer at this point!!!! LOLOLOL” and you just rest your face in your hands listening to the same trite shit from co-workers and relatives alike.
The taste follows through on the Skor bar, There’s smashed caramello, lingering sappy oak, a light lacquer like shop class and finishes like sweet pencil shavings. It never feels like a stretchmarked beast, but you shouldn’t commit to this one for any prolonged sessions. I split this bomber and the fusel notes started escaping at higher temps like latently racist comments from a drunk republican.
Dat tome squig tho
This falls squarely in the realm of “well made, but did we actually need this?” Sort of zone that Bruery massive beers can inhabit. It’s not like HAS SCIENCE GONE TOO FAR but I don’t see the military or long term peaceful applications of this beer. Then again, this is a massive improvement over the completely misguided DDBA so I guess small thanks for tiny blessings. It is unquestionably worth your time and a great service to the beer world at large to put out undeniably awesome, novel, barrel aged beers that continue to shape the palates of grocery store ballers at large. This will age gracefully and integrate phenomenally and a touch of that oxy cardboard in a couple of years will likely give it that awesome depth that perhaps the saccharine and fusel minor complaints are bothering at the outset.
As a corollary, if you are like Blend Raymond, this would be a masterful beer to have on hand at parties if you want to jazz up existing barrel aged beers because it presents itself like a universal Lego board to improve nearly every BA beer out there. But this sort of accolade is only of utility to the oddest DDB reader, far along down the craft beer rabbit hole.
Now we get to wait until Velvet Merkin drops for the annual tradition of listening to new beer dumbfucks complain that “it isn’t as big as Parabola. Needs more bourbons, more abv TOO THIN THO” and all that stupid rhetoric.
Every. Single. Year.
Pizza Boy Mango Sourer, Trub a Dub Dub, Buncha Fruits in a Tub
It is a shame that Side Project never made a Mange Du Fermier, because when I saw pizza boy was dropping a mango sour I knew exactly what I was in for. The prior Funker releases were muddy trubtastic yeast cake bombs priced at $30 each. People lost their EBT-tier minds and these poverty tier PA consumers took to social media to complain from dusty old Compaq crt desktops. Complaining to breweries on social media always yields high dividends.
The whole affair was an awesome spectacle and I am sure Three Floyds was in Indiana polishing its monocle laughing at selling Bully Guppy for $30 without a titter.
No filters or any modification was done to this photo. That is srs how the beer looks.
So then this mango beer drops…priced at $25 [EDITED: post previously erroneously noted that the price was $30]. Right when I took it out of the box I looked through the brown glass and saw those lava lamp contents spurting around in graceful chunks. I knew shit was about to be Odwalla as FUQQQ.
The entirety of this review could probably be summed up with two photos. Seriously look at this beer and take it in, visually consume its majesty. I poured this for my buddy who owns a crossfit gym and is ultra paleo and the discussion went like this
“You said we were having beer”
“We are”
“That looks like a Robeks blender”
“It has a lot of fruit in it”
“If the beer is so good why does it need so much fruit. It looks literally like Naked juice you buy at the grocery store”
“I don’t know, it’s a mango sour, just drink it”
“So as a brewery you can basically just sell puréed fruit”
“Just stfu already”
All visual jokes aside, the nose on it is admittedly incredible though. It is pithy whipped mango, merengue, tangerine, intense fruit tannins, so much clementine flesh, and endless citrus. It smells literally like a Jamba Juice smoothie.
The Produce Ark of the Covenant, don’t look directly at the mangos
The taste carries this though entirely, it is basically fruity to the shandy threshold and the base beer could be literally anything. The mouthfeel is thick and pulpy, the taste is acidic and there is zero alcohol presence. It reminds me of a Bellini or hangover brunch mimosa you give to an absentee mother.
I dont know how to evaluate this within the threshold of beers and fermentation culture because the whole affair is masked by dripping tropical harvest. It is delicious in the way that apricot juice is delicious. The brewer doesn’t really have a meaningful interplay since nature’s bounty makes the cup runneth over.
So….good job? I guess?
Quirkzoo breaking me off with some tasty farmhouse treatz from the CO
His boxes don’t make no gosh derned sainse.
Kuhnhenn bb4d has always been and always will be in my top 10 beers of all time, since always until forever, except never with Further Seems Forever.
Hands down flawless across the entire spectrum of old ale, Barleywine, even questionably into the strong ale and perhaps a smattering of the quad life even. This is a masterpiece of barrel manipulation worthy of the highest caramel and toffee accolades.
I used to think Adam from the Wood was equal in scope and execution but God damn, every year that I drink this is a revelation.
It woke up like this. Flawless.
I Phil this beer is a Lil too damn good.
The cherries in Transient Cherry Pentameter smell like Purina one, such kennel house tones. Canine rusticity.
I think you had to join their reserve society to get this beer.
The taste was actually really good and had nothing in common with the olfactory nightmare. It was bizarre to have such a bipolar beverage. To make things worse, another bottle i opened of this had a completely normal faux Krieky nose, but then a weird acetic character to the taste. How can bittle variation make two completely opposite beers? I guess I could have waited and blended the two to make either 1) an incredible cherry jam masterpiece or 2) kitty litter head on acid collision.
Thanks powz. Thanks a lot.
This is one of those strange instances where the beer itself has a clean mouthfeel and seems well assembled but it’s like the barrel program went off the rails at some point. Case in point:
I don’t know exactly where this was aiming but it landed square in the realm of Granny Smith diacetyl extraveganza. I can already see Chicago traders all like “I loved the caramel and oily mouthfeel! The green jolly rancher aspects shined nicely!”
Maybe Transient has been beers and I am just fucking thin-
OH WAIT THAT’S RIGHT THEY DO HAPPEN TO MAKE ONE EXTREMELY BAD ASS BEER:
This beer is incredible and tears ass all over the rest of their catalog. DP be peepin but you would be hard pressed to find another in the breakfast stout world with this much balance, and sheer drinkability. The various ingredients meld together for an amazing coffee cascading over vanilla into a loving maple syrup embrace. For all the MD fanfare this week, this awesome beer is criminally overlooked. I have no idea 1) how the same brewery could have made three wildly differing beers in terms of quality and 2) why aren’t more people trying to land this sleeper cell of adjunct awesomeness?
In SUMMATION: their wild ale program needs some work but God damn do their stouts run the trap like you just introduced her to your stove.
Guize, Let’s Review Five Different Other Half Beers to See How the Other Half be Livin.
Let’s talk about these fellas at Other Half Brewing. The New York beer scene is interesting in itself and mirrors Los Angeles bber culture in many ways. It is ever a hub of incredible beer bars and a simmering cauldron of activity in the craft beer world. However, the action of simmering is an exothermic reaction to external forces, and the two metropolitan areas function as weathervanes from external change. SD bubbles LA’s britches. Sure New York has their share of Captain Lawrence’s, Ithacas, and Southamptons smattered around the landscape, but the driving pulse lies largely in the icy north.
So today we have an upstart that is carving their own legacy in reviews and trade ISOs: Other Half Brewing. Lets find out if these stand on their own or merely mirror facets of the frozen Vermont population living north of the wall.
I only pop you when it’s half, past five.
Mosaic ipa
This is seemingly the paradigm of reactionary given how many fucking breweries are leaning hard on Mosaic hops almost exclusively at this point. It is the CITRA hop of the 2011 era. This is a gentle beer across the spectrum that delivers exactly what it promises, a fistful of chive and shallot, resin and a floral finish. It is highly crushable and very well done.
that TB snifter getting mad max mileage
The only reason j can fault this is due to the fact that there are x to the nth power of other breweries doing the exact same thing. It’s like being super impressed with a paper towel company. Just buy the ones that clean up child vomit and get on with your life.
Certified whiptixxx in the subbydoobaruu
Galaxy ipa
Essentially the same as the mosaic with a bit more creaminess to the mouthfeel. It comes across as drier and more refreshing albeit less drillable than the mosaic. This is an overall better beer but the hops are such a fantastic panacea that you would have to be a pretty shifty brewer to drop the ball on a galaxy brew. It’s no HF double Galaxy, but likely better than what is available at your local bottleshop. If this is regularly on draft at Blind Tiger and the like, an incredible new crusher has joined those NYC ranks.
I mean, I do that, I make time for that.
Hop Showers
I have seen so many people seeking out these iconic cans and I feel that this is the best example of infectious marketing this side of those insufferable Rogue bottles. Sadly, the beer itself is nothing to go crazy over. It feels like some two row that was fermented too high and somehow still has a residual sweetness to the body that calls back to the Founders ipas from days past. There is a notable sense of honeydew and almost menthol herbaciousness to the swallow.
You get that link I sent you of a woman havin sex wit a bee?
I guess it’s greatest sin is that it doesn’t really command your attention or demand contemplation . For some people that would be a massive merit to their IPAs, but not for this salty worn out leather donut of brackishness. The can art carries the day for what would otherwise be a forgettable entry. Not bad but nothing you need to open an incognito tab for.
The fact that this is sold in any kind of multiple can format is amazing and horrifying at the same time.
All green everything TIPA
Ah yes the triple ipa. A style no one but novice hopheads begs for, a style breweries continue to fuck up time and time again by scaling up ineffective DIPA recipes, an often flabby mess replete with crystal malt or honey or some other stupid shit. This is the style that elevates the beta casual hop lover Into the trading and reviewing ranks. Thank god for this style, for its unending comedic effects. The line for Pliny the Younger extending longer with soccer moms and asian foodies every year, Sunset magazine running spreads on Triple IPAs, disenfranchised cousins sending you TIPA links at work, ah yes.
last week fucked around and got a triple double
Sadly this beer is one of those 5% of TIPas that are actually exceptional. It is really good and still svelte to an extent. It never raises to a fusel problems, never stumbles into a dank american barleywine, and fails to oil its hop cones in the bedsheets. This finishes slick and woody like shop class, I love the weight of the mouthfeel and this lacquer closer reminds me of an amazing lemon pledge cocktail: that sounds gross but this is amazing. It has power and balance like a young Bo Jackson in his prime. The first taste is oddly clean with grapefruit and Twbgerine zest. This draped over the long line finish makes for a really great beer.
There’s likely nothing like this available at retail and this comes scary close to the Boneyard Notorious levels of God tier greatness. ISO this. Srs.
If there were a farmhouse in NYC that shit would look like the house in UP
Barrel aged Brett saison
No brewery can be the master of everything, go try Hill Farmstead’s dortmunder and you’ll know what I mean. That sentiment is what gave me pause when I poured this other half saison, it looked pretty tasty. The nose was present and accounted for, some Brett c and cardboard paper, mandarian oranges. It feels genuine and inspired from a hop focused brewery, this can’t be right. The taste brings things back into the “pretty good” realm enjoyed by the likes of Prairie. This beer reminds me of a more tame version of Jester King biere de Miel, not overly sweet, not annoyingly acidic, a fantastic Orange Julius mouthfeel but lacing a haymaker to compel your returning attention. If this is priced in the $12 range, stock the fuck up like the T-virus was just unleashed on raccoon city. If this is in that ridiculous $20 realm, then perhaps it’s time to diversify your portfolio with some Vapeur or Blaugies.
So as to be expected, some amazing offerings, some forgettable ones, but in sum, Other Half is certainly worth a once over and there appears to be great things on the horizon.
It turns out Michigan is still making beers that are not dragon Traxxxxx. And some of them are maple syrup even.
Sip sippin on dar sizzurp
dontdrinkbeer 