Pizza Boy Mango Sourer, Trub a Dub Dub, Buncha Fruits in a Tub

It is a shame that Side Project never made a Mange Du Fermier, because when I saw pizza boy was dropping a mango sour I knew exactly what I was in for. The prior Funker releases were muddy trubtastic yeast cake bombs priced at $30 each. People lost their EBT-tier minds and these poverty tier PA consumers took to social media to complain from dusty old Compaq crt desktops. Complaining to breweries on social media always yields high dividends.

The whole affair was an awesome spectacle and I am sure Three Floyds was in Indiana polishing its monocle laughing at selling Bully Guppy for $30 without a titter.

No filters or any modification was done to this photo. That is srs how the beer looks.

No filters or any modification was done to this photo. That is srs how the beer looks.

So then this mango beer drops…priced at $25 [EDITED: post previously erroneously noted that the price was $30]. Right when I took it out of the box I looked through the brown glass and saw those lava lamp contents spurting around in graceful chunks. I knew shit was about to be Odwalla as FUQQQ.

The entirety of this review could probably be summed up with two photos. Seriously look at this beer and take it in, visually consume its majesty. I poured this for my buddy who owns a crossfit gym and is ultra paleo and the discussion went like this
“You said we were having beer”
“We are”
“That looks like a Robeks blender”
“It has a lot of fruit in it”
“If the beer is so good why does it need so much fruit. It looks literally like Naked juice you buy at the grocery store”
“I don’t know, it’s a mango sour, just drink it”
“So as a brewery you can basically just sell puréed fruit”
“Just stfu already”

All visual jokes aside, the nose on it is admittedly incredible though. It is pithy whipped mango, merengue, tangerine, intense fruit tannins, so much clementine flesh, and endless citrus. It smells literally like a Jamba Juice smoothie.

The Ark of the Covenant, don't look directly at the mangos

The Produce Ark of the Covenant, don’t look directly at the mangos

The taste carries this though entirely, it is basically fruity to the shandy threshold and the base beer could be literally anything. The mouthfeel is thick and pulpy, the taste is acidic and there is zero alcohol presence. It reminds me of a Bellini or hangover brunch mimosa you give to an absentee mother.

I dont know how to evaluate this within the threshold of beers and fermentation culture because the whole affair is masked by dripping tropical harvest. It is delicious in the way that apricot juice is delicious. The brewer doesn’t really have a meaningful interplay since nature’s bounty makes the cup runneth over.

So….good job? I guess?