Monthly Archives: March 2015

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@santeadairius Palimpsest, A NEW FLANDERS CHALLENGER APPEARS, Alexander about to defend the throne

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Man I really was torn whether to do a write up of this incredible Flanders Red or write a piece shitting on the profiteers who are currently arguing that their bottles of Huna are worth $50 each due to the $200 ticket.  Cooler stretch marks prevailed and you get this instead of a tired rift on the same hairy backs.  So what do we have today? Sante Adairius, not content with dominating several categories in the farmhouse world has now cast those Omega Red tendrils into the Flanders region.  If you were invited to their Cellar Society, you got a single bottle and the option to buy a second bottle of this. No public sale.  Fret not, you can argue that your $50 Huna costs over twice as much, dont even trip.

Let’s see how this stacks up to the Cherry Oude Tarts and Alexanders of the world in today’s review.

I added some cutlery so no one gets confused and thinks they are at THEBEERHEADS instead of old DDB.

I added some cutlery so no one gets confused and thinks they are at THEBEERHEADS instead of old DDB.

Sante Adairius, Capitola CA

6%, Barrel Aged Flanders Red Ale

Let’s get this commercial full release on the sheets so we can continue with a level head:
Palimpsest is our interpretation of the classic Flanders style ales, lovingly dubbed the “Burgundies of Belgium.” Like its ancestral counterparts, Palimpsest matured in oak barrels, while time, simple and elegant, burnished Palimpsest to reveal a bright and bracing acidity. As its numerous layers are exposed, traditional characteristics including dark cherries, leathery parchment, and earthy bark round the palate. With excitement, we offer Palimpsest as a harbinger of great things to come in 2015. Sante!

A:   This is admittedly not the most beautiful flanders you have ever seen.  It has a ruddy brown and light brick and amber hues at the edges.  FUCK WHY DIDNT THEY COLD CRASH AND ADD GELATIN AND IRISH MOSS AND THEN CHERRY JUICE AND RED 5 LIKE ALL MY OTHER FAVORITES.  It looks pretty similar to oude tart and has a clean slickness on the glass and leaves spotty lacing, like when your homie be drooing on himself in the passenger seat after you drove 13 hours to that SICK SR71 release. Worth it.

Honestly I can review whateverthefuck right now and all my CPAP readers will just be fantasizing about running outside in this hot new simulator.

Honestly I can review whateverthefuck right now and all my CPAP readers will just be fantasizing about running outside in this hot new simulator.

S:  I braced myself for the typical acetic onslaught that makes me eschew Flanders Reds, but like a Mormon camp counselor, it never came. Instead you get a lovely waft of cherry blossom, raspberry, a sory of jammy preserve and fuji apple finish.  There is a mild touch of red wine vinegar aspects at higher temps, but for the style, I knew that minx was gonna pop its head up eventually.

At least they didn't go this route, holy shit those cliche puns are more tired than HOP portmanteaus.

At least they didn’t go this route, holy shit those cliche puns are more tired than HOP portmanteaus.

T:  This is exceedingly dry even when it hits the sweet zones it starts clearing ground like a Terran Firebat.  It never becomes excessively sour or allows itself to get of pocket with the acidity along the gumline.  There’s a lovely creamy maraschino cherry and shirley temple sweetness on the middle palate and an entire cort of oak spilled down your back palate on the swallow.  NOT THE FIRST TIME YOUVE SWALLOWED THAT MUCH WOO- alright.  It is very pleasant despite my picayunes, they all essential arise as a result of the style itself and they could have easily put cherries in a sour blonde to get shitsacks to fall in love, pulling the tarp away like TADAA LOOK AT THE NEW FLANDERS RED.  But they didnt, and I love them more for it.  It’s like when coach makes you like run laps in front of his bicycle, making you put in those extra reps so that you can get to like the State finals or something. Full disclosure, I am not entiretly sure what coaches do exactly.

M:  The acidity is dry as noted above, BUUUUUT i will note that this has a heavenly frothiness and creaminess to the mouthfeel like if they made Cherry Nestle Quik.  It is truly tasty stuff and good luck finding a comparable barrel aged Flanders Red, just drink pasteurized La Folie and use your imagination extra hard or something.

Ask all these #newmoney ballers about Alexander and they be like

FLANDERS RED GOD TIER MOVE. Ask all these #newmoney ballers about Alexander and they be like

O:  Is this better than Cherry Oude Tart? Sure.  Is it better than the goliath Alexander? No, but it falls somewhere above Caracterie Rouge and below those waley C&C La Folies.  Obviously you should seek this out as it is within the pinnacle of the genre, but in all honesty, unless you are completely apeshit for the style, just trade for Cherry Oude Tart and hang up your spurs.  I can only assume this will be tough to land and if you split this 12 ways after 12 other bottles, youll probably be like “FUKN DDB AND ALL HIS RECOMMEN I AM…I NEED TO SIT DOWN…HEY DID ANYONE LOSE A NUVA RING?”

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Grapefruit Sculpin Still banging hard on those 808 drums 

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I love how people piss the sheets over how this costs $18 a six pack but back in 2012 they had no problem dropping $8.99 on a bomber of regular ass sculpin.

Maybe the 🐋🐋🐋🐋adjunct ipa game isn’t for those people. They still sell Barefoot Chardonnay at the grocery store for like 9 bucks.

This beer is damn tasty but I might honestly prefer regular sculpin if I am going to be drinking several of these, the grapefruit gets a little cloying after the second one. But if you have to look presentable for a paternity test, go with a single grapefruit sculpin, it’s all the juicy resonant citrus and pine but then they game genie the fuck out of the pithy grapefruit notes and enter that infinite orange lives code. No clipping



I’ll spank the shit out of a grandpa if the price is right

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@propolisbrewing Beltane, gabf gold medal Brett beer that is actually an awesome ba saison. Imagine that.

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Propolis brewing Beltane

7% barrel aged spelt saison

First let’s take a look at the commercial reach around:

“Spring floral nose, golden hue, crisp and creamy herbal smoothness, forest and farm buds, bright fruit undertones, tart rustic dry finish.”

I hate when the label is actually really accurate because it gives me jack shit to do as a rabble rousing commentator. While I used the chope for hilarious effect, the beer itself was a touch more amber than the radiant golden descriptors would indicate but still a pretty beer with a massive carbonated presence. My chope runneth over.

The nose is incredibly floral like that perfume Flowerbomb, if you have ever been to a second rate strip club, you know what that pink dust is redolent of. There’s a grassy profile like wet lawn and a celementine tartness to the closer. It’s ironic that this beer evokes spring and yard maintenance because the asshole who buys beers like this probably does zero gardening. MY HYDRANGEAS BULBS ARE SURFACING!

The taste is phenomenal and exists as this fantastic cross bar between ba logsdon seizoen Bretta and an imaginary saison d’erpeteau. It is creamy and silky, the lemon cascades with yogurt like a 50/50 bar and earthy musk. Why this won “ONG BEST BRETT BEER GABF” is beyond me when the Brett is hardly the most prominent characterisitic of this tasty joint.

This brewery makes some odd offerings like herbaceous gruits and all manner of organic madness, this unfortunately will appeal to even the most blunt palate and its deliciousness will pull these amazing bottles away from my rapacious man tits. The saison struggle is real.



Whenever people ask me if the saison was sour enough.

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@moderntimesbeer Grooming Molars by modem tones, it has monstertonka and shiptrub hops

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I have several questions about why a beer this delicious basically looks like a red ale. Why is there crystal malt up in this mix. Why are the delicious Citra and montueka hops muted by this malty sweetness. Why are these cans so damn hard to find. Why didn’t this entire paragraph have a single question mark.

Alright now that we sorted out the bad, let’s draw our attention to how God damn juicy and refreshing this beer is. It is crushable and refreshing and reminds me of a more tropical, albeit flabbier version of Just Outstanding. The dank alpha oils linger on long after the swallow, it feels more like a svelte triple ipa or a wonky unbalanced single ipa, like those old tymie bicycles. It cuts down other mediocre ipas like Butcher Bill and similarly leaves a lingering bitter taste in your mouth of the cold grave intensity that is the hoppy savagery of Daniel Alpha Lewis.

If you already have nocturnal emissions over what fortunate island did for the wheat beer sector, this is the next logical foray into that realm. Sold in four packs and, provided this gets its distro diapers in order, great things will be in store.



Stop frontin like you tried this before

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@councilbrewing Beatitude Set ROUND ONE: Mango, Pineapple, Blueberry, no boils, no stems no seeds no sticks

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God damnit I am sick of getting messages about this shit already.  Instead of doing a full on cagematch with these, I figured an FAQ format would be better to address these bottles since people have SO. MANY. FUCKING. questions.  Let’s just get into the meat and start braising this osso bucco.

Only three of these are out right now, the other three to follow shortly. Fire up your Dominos pizza app and get in the chill zone

Only three of these are out right now, the other three to follow shortly. Fire up your Dominos pizza app and get in the chill zone

Council Brewing

Fruited American Biere Du Pays with Monocultures Added, 3.8% abv

Mango, Pineapple, Blueberry

I am lazy as fuck, which one is the best so I can supplement my self esteem with a completionist verve, but then not have to try them all?

That’s a strange question, but I will allow it.  I thought mango was the best, followed by pineapple and blueberry following last as the most predictable in execution.  The mango and pineapple have this effervescent quality that crackles with vibrant acidity and hard mineral character like baller ass perrier variants.  The acidity isnt purely lactic nor is it needlessly excoriating.  These are endlessly crushable, to a fault really.  I wanted to take fatter pulls to embrace the paper thin body and bone dry resonance.  It finishes crisp like biting into an Anjou pear and doesn’t linger.  You could destroy the whole set on a weeknight and not need a GI referral in the morning, if we are being completely honest.  The blueberry while having the same appeal of the two, missed the mark in terms of original execution and was more of a table beer version of JK Colour Five, still good but like sex after 9 years of marriage, utterly predictable the positions it puts you in.

What were the releases figures on this first set so I can lowball as hard as possible?

There were 270ish bottles of each variant sold on a silent release during a weekday that sold out in 3 hours.  Two per person were allowed after the 3 per person was getting drilled on like an offshore BP platform.  $14 each. If you want to look like a profiteering asshole, offer up like a single Vanilla Rye for the whole set, I dont give a shit.

Third place, but still a tasty treat.

Third place, but still a tasty treat.

Why Am I So Poor?  Why Do I feel like $14 is Expensive for a 750ml bottle?

You may have been afflicted with DeGardiditis wherein you now feel like any 750ml that costs more than $6 is a complete rip off.  Or you may think you have some homebrewing experience and you immediately point your greasy roll of nickels finger at the 3.8% abv and start mumering “erhm production cosshttts” or something.  This isn’t a second runnings beer, it’s not just a dupont strain and some capri suns squeezed into the brite tank.  I don’t know why you are so miserly, if 14$ is too much for you, maybe take up cloud/bird watching or one of the innumerably cheaper hobbies.

The Carb Looks a Little Low In These Pictures, I Like to Assume Shit-

Those pours were from draft and sat for a few minutes while we talked, you know, that thing you used to do before logging in badges on Untappd like an obsessive self documenting alcoholic.  Those days.  People have told me the carb on the bottles is legit.

This was my favorite, but most people like pineapple more. WHAT DOES OLD DDB KNOW N E WAYZ

This was my favorite, but most people like pineapple more. WHAT DOES OLD DDB KNOW N E WAYZ

What Does the label say, I am bad at Googling, pls.

“Beatitude is the French word for bliss which is what we float away on whenever we enjoy this specially brewed beer. Although this Tart Saison is brewed in the historical Wallonian tradition of other low gravity, tart farmhouse ales, the magic happens when our house blend of Brettanomyces, Lactobacillus and Saison yeast throw an out-of-this-world party in our fermenters. Aged  on various fruits and bottled with precision and care – this yields a beer with a lacto forward nose, an intensely tart fruit flavor, a doughy complexity from our no-boil process, and takes the word “refreshing” to a whole new level.”  There you go.

When Do The Next Three Deviants Come Out So I Can Do Some Demonstrative Shit Like Opening All Six in My Backyard to Impress My Yu Gi Oh Friends?
Probably in like four weeks, I have no idea.  I have sand dollar nipples and a wordpress site, the fuck do I know.

Hey I read everything you wrote but I am still going to message you and ask for your REAL OPINION is that ok would that be good for you DDB?

I fucking hate this so much.

A pour of that size is not long for this world.

A pour of that size is not long for this world.

My Friend is a certified beer server and he said because of the ABV these are actually berliners

That wasn’t a question but please, just shut the fuck up.  You have no idea what you are talking about.  Let’s get this out of the way: these do not taste like saisons.  Sure they have a low abv and are fruited but these are not berliners either.  Look at the yeast strains, how in the fuck could you consider these berliners? Due to the no boil (they bring the temp up to 180 degrees, they dont just shake it in a sack with some DME) this has some residual grist to the swallow but again, its hard to pick out because these are POST MENOPAUSAL OSTEOPEROSIS BONE DRY. My best characterization would be “American Fruited Biere Du Pays with monocultures added” which I can only assume will be a GABF category next year.

I usually just read to the bottom of the things you say and look at the pictures, so should i get these seriously tho?

If you can only get one, most people like Pineapple the most, and yes you really should try it.  There is not a clear analogue in my mind for someone doing things in quite this way and its not fair to really compare them to De Garde beers across the board either.  These are really fucking tasty and OH NO YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO SHARE THEM TWELVE WAYS. Holy fuck imagine drinking a whole 3.8% 750ml to yourself, wow 2015 is a bold new year.