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LA BEER WEEK BONUS REVIEW: @smogcitybeer Cuddlebug, Compelled Cuddling is Really Just Pinning Someone Down

Alright before we jump right back into the fray with another brewery review, might as well address this stone fruit prodigy that people have been mentioning with regularity on the trade boards. The Smog City barrel program seemingly has blind sided consumers and top tier tickers alike with monthly releases spitting hot rounds, dropping mad 16s on the South Bay. Even crusty kids with Pennywise shirts are peeping the BAL game.

So what’s the deal with this shit? OH GREAT YET ANOTHER STONEFRUIT SOURED BLONDE WOW SUCH ORIGINAL MANY INSPIRE. I thought the same thing and furrowed my brow, knowing that hard as nails lineage it would need to compete with: Persica, Fen Tao, La Fosse, Veritas 15, Fuzzy, the list goes on and fucking on.  Even making a 4.5% AWA with peaches and apricots already puts a red dot on a brewer’s head like Rodman.

Let’s go through the standard checklist that gets level 2 cicerones tumescent:

– Stonefruit

– 2000 bottle release

– brewery only

And then they need to clean the trub from those And1 basketball shorts because that’s all it takes these days. Except this beer is actually good, it’s really fucking tasty.

squeeze that peach until the juice runs down your leg

squeeze that peach until the juice runs down your leg

The pour looks a touch watery but leaves subtle cling before that carb crackles off and belies that potentially acidic affair waiting underneathe.  It looks clean and radiant, glowing like a Super Mario Galaxy Star.

The nose is intense pithy apricot flesh, cut nectarine, less peach and more farmers market clementines and satsuma almost.  The bouquet seems so representative of the fruits in question is feels supra-real, like when that yellow smelling marker smelled more like lemons than real lemons do.  This goes over the top and the acidity isn’t really anywhere to be found.  There isn’t much brett C or musky funk interplay and this is one of those “squeaky clean” sours that boost crushability in lieu of cheesy gristiness.

WHOA WAIT THIS IS NOT THE PEACHES I WAS SEEKING. i will accept this willingly.

WHOA WAIT THIS IS NOT THE PEACHES I WAS SEEKING. i will accept this willingly.

The taste is endlessly balanced, a fruit profile that never becomes cloying or artificial.  It has moderate acidity but you could easily crush a 500ml without a second thought. There is a touch of drying along the gumline but it never feels like they are learning on the fruit as a crutch.  With some fruited wilds, you toss 2 lbs per gallon of anything and YOU WIN THE GAME THIS TASTES LIKE FRUIT, but that isn’t the case here.  The fruit tannins serve to compliment rather than outshine the delicate drinkability of this beer, it’s like an ultra competent Steve Buscemi performance that makes everyone else appear even better as a whole.

A complaint that perhaps isn’t even a valid gripe is that it is TOO easy to drink and unless you actively contemplate this beer, it will be gone.  One phone call from your ex wife pestering you about DID YOU BORROW MY STEPLADDER and boom the entire beer is gone. THANKS A LOT, JANET, YOU STOLE YET ANOTHER THING FROM MY LIFE.  It isn’t insubstantial like some of the Bu’s, and it isn’t over the top like some nameless Floridian offerings, it his this perfect inner wall of satisfaction you want to rock upon until you crack your pit and juice it hard.

WAIT WUT.

how long been on them stone fruits? ALL DAY TICKER

how long been on them stone fruits? ALL DAY TICKER

In sum, yet another fucking great beer without a clear parallel, that is absolutely worth putting in and around your face.

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@santeadairius Palimpsest, A NEW FLANDERS CHALLENGER APPEARS, Alexander about to defend the throne

Man I really was torn whether to do a write up of this incredible Flanders Red or write a piece shitting on the profiteers who are currently arguing that their bottles of Huna are worth $50 each due to the $200 ticket.  Cooler stretch marks prevailed and you get this instead of a tired rift on the same hairy backs.  So what do we have today? Sante Adairius, not content with dominating several categories in the farmhouse world has now cast those Omega Red tendrils into the Flanders region.  If you were invited to their Cellar Society, you got a single bottle and the option to buy a second bottle of this. No public sale.  Fret not, you can argue that your $50 Huna costs over twice as much, dont even trip.

Let’s see how this stacks up to the Cherry Oude Tarts and Alexanders of the world in today’s review.

I added some cutlery so no one gets confused and thinks they are at THEBEERHEADS instead of old DDB.

I added some cutlery so no one gets confused and thinks they are at THEBEERHEADS instead of old DDB.

Sante Adairius, Capitola CA

6%, Barrel Aged Flanders Red Ale

Let’s get this commercial full release on the sheets so we can continue with a level head:
Palimpsest is our interpretation of the classic Flanders style ales, lovingly dubbed the “Burgundies of Belgium.” Like its ancestral counterparts, Palimpsest matured in oak barrels, while time, simple and elegant, burnished Palimpsest to reveal a bright and bracing acidity. As its numerous layers are exposed, traditional characteristics including dark cherries, leathery parchment, and earthy bark round the palate. With excitement, we offer Palimpsest as a harbinger of great things to come in 2015. Sante!

A:   This is admittedly not the most beautiful flanders you have ever seen.  It has a ruddy brown and light brick and amber hues at the edges.  FUCK WHY DIDNT THEY COLD CRASH AND ADD GELATIN AND IRISH MOSS AND THEN CHERRY JUICE AND RED 5 LIKE ALL MY OTHER FAVORITES.  It looks pretty similar to oude tart and has a clean slickness on the glass and leaves spotty lacing, like when your homie be drooing on himself in the passenger seat after you drove 13 hours to that SICK SR71 release. Worth it.

Honestly I can review whateverthefuck right now and all my CPAP readers will just be fantasizing about running outside  in this hot new simulator.

Honestly I can review whateverthefuck right now and all my CPAP readers will just be fantasizing about running outside in this hot new simulator.

S:  I braced myself for the typical acetic onslaught that makes me eschew Flanders Reds, but like a Mormon camp counselor, it never came. Instead you get a lovely waft of cherry blossom, raspberry, a sory of jammy preserve and fuji apple finish.  There is a mild touch of red wine vinegar aspects at higher temps, but for the style, I knew that minx was gonna pop its head up eventually.

At least they didn't go this route, holy shit those cliche puns are more tired than HOP portmanteaus.

At least they didn’t go this route, holy shit those cliche puns are more tired than HOP portmanteaus.

T:  This is exceedingly dry even when it hits the sweet zones it starts clearing ground like a Terran Firebat.  It never becomes excessively sour or allows itself to get of pocket with the acidity along the gumline.  There’s a lovely creamy maraschino cherry and shirley temple sweetness on the middle palate and an entire cort of oak spilled down your back palate on the swallow.  NOT THE FIRST TIME YOUVE SWALLOWED THAT MUCH WOO- alright.  It is very pleasant despite my picayunes, they all essential arise as a result of the style itself and they could have easily put cherries in a sour blonde to get shitsacks to fall in love, pulling the tarp away like TADAA LOOK AT THE NEW FLANDERS RED.  But they didnt, and I love them more for it.  It’s like when coach makes you like run laps in front of his bicycle, making you put in those extra reps so that you can get to like the State finals or something. Full disclosure, I am not entiretly sure what coaches do exactly.

M:  The acidity is dry as noted above, BUUUUUT i will note that this has a heavenly frothiness and creaminess to the mouthfeel like if they made Cherry Nestle Quik.  It is truly tasty stuff and good luck finding a comparable barrel aged Flanders Red, just drink pasteurized La Folie and use your imagination extra hard or something.

Ask all these #newmoney ballers about Alexander and they be like

FLANDERS RED GOD TIER MOVE. Ask all these #newmoney ballers about Alexander and they be like

O:  Is this better than Cherry Oude Tart? Sure.  Is it better than the goliath Alexander? No, but it falls somewhere above Caracterie Rouge and below those waley C&C La Folies.  Obviously you should seek this out as it is within the pinnacle of the genre, but in all honesty, unless you are completely apeshit for the style, just trade for Cherry Oude Tart and hang up your spurs.  I can only assume this will be tough to land and if you split this 12 ways after 12 other bottles, youll probably be like “FUKN DDB AND ALL HIS RECOMMEN I AM…I NEED TO SIT DOWN…HEY DID ANYONE LOSE A NUVA RING?”