Big punitive penal plans for that panela prop
Author Archives: dontdrinkbeer
NEW VEDEO REVUE: speed cellarings lesson, ultra cicerone degree, present post progressive cellars
Beta casual brewers cant boss me around, future cellared, marty mclfy effect.
Impasse. The bottle was gushing, the review was not. A standard albeit forgettable saison from Crux.
With so many American breweries stepping into the farmhouse game, there are bound to be some that exist solely to pad out the ranks, digging the entrenched standards between bad and excellent. This is one such saison doughboy ducking German howitzer shells and merely ekeing out a modest existence.
It is bad no means bad, the nose is grassy, rye bread, floral and lemon pepper. It just feels phoned in, like if a furtive alien brewer wanted to fit in with humans would brew to not raise suspicion to their extraterrestrial existence
It swallows clean and dry, hoppy with an herbal presence that becomes off putting after 8 ounces. You can’t fault it nor really praise it, it clocks in at 9 and leaves promptly at 5. With logsdon sitting squarely as a PnW competitor at the same price point, it is tough to really go to bar for this cruxy offering.
It’s fine, I GUESS.
O’so bourbon barrel aged imperial night train, more like nighttrainwreck-AYO I WILL BE HERE ALL EVENING TIP YOUR WAITRESSES
But in all seriousness, if they aren’t giving refunds for this beer, then there is something direly wrong with the retail sale paradigm.
It pours dead flat like you hot siphoned it from a homebrew Carboy. The nose is acidic and boasts a profile of old coffee grounds, plum, acrimonious prune juice and a nestle quik with grape fanta closer.
The taste is vinous and sharp, borderline sour and if there isn’t some referementation occurring then they sourced some of the strangest barrels this side of Malort treatments.
The entire affair is amongst the worst beers I have tried this year, a solid 20+ ounces shed off their mortal coil and claimed the ultimate reward in the libation siphon that claims all liquid souls, the ever gaping maw of the drain, defiler of forgotten beverages.
I STR8 DUMPED THAT SH^T LIKE A BOLIVIAN GIRLFREND.
@fremontbrewing Coffee Cinnamon Barrel Aged Abominable aka that C.C.B.Bomb.
In what can only be described as an ISO:FT miracle, Fremont brewing has not been forced into a cattle car aboard the hype train. Despite consistently knocking out big beers, having a solid barrel aging program and constantly rolling out delicious top notch hoppy beers, their fanbase refuses to be total shitheads. If this brewery were located in say, Indiana, forget about it, you would see people attempting to trade Bbomb for one off cantillon, selling them on secondary sites, just really pricking up the place. I liken these Washington tickers as a strain of the magnanimous Colorado breed: they just produce awesome beer and shut the fuck up about it. Haven’t heard of Black Raven or Casey Brewing? Well it’s not their job to keep you informed, they will gladly drink up their world class offerings under the fall of torrential rain or snow, respectively.
So what do we have here, anyway? You might recall I previously already praised regular B-Bomb top to bottom as a leaner more nimble version of Kuhnhenn’s BB4d. This is especially true of their recent offerings, solara style blending of a variety of different ages of barrels. So that’s already what we are dealing with, THEN, they go and add cinnamon and coffee up in the mix. I was skeptical, and I was fucking wrong.
Fremont Brewing, Seattle area, 11% abv
Strong Ale? It’s essentially an old ale/barleywine. Let’s get to it.
A: This just looks phenomenal out of the bottle, rolling with a great slick to it, deep mahogany hues and carb that actually delivers and doesn’t just lay placid like we have come to expect from big stouts and barleywines. The cling is awesome and leaves sheets of mocha foam rimming the glass like a toothy prison blowjob. OH JUST ME? OK SURE.
S: The nose works in waves of cascading roasted coffee, churros, cinnabon, milk chocolate, nougat, whoppers and closing with a sweet roasty aspect. It delivers in equal measure what it promises and never lets one aspect upstage the others, like a finely tuned Brady Bunch performance, every child receives a moment to shine before KEEPIN ON KEEPIN ON KEEPIN ON back in the chorus line. The real star here is the balance, god damn it all. If BA Abraxas is the paradigm for excessive cinnamon sweetness, this demonstrates how to take two aggressive adjuncts and make them work in tandem to buttress the main goal: a fantastic beer.
T: This flips the shit switch and the amount of balls tripped is not insubstantial. You get all of the foregoing barista and horchata cinnamon goodness, but a whole other layer of butterscotch and vanilla and mallowfoam. It never is excessively roasty, nor is it cloyingly sweet, and it complely avoids the mexican barrio panaderia route. Again I must underscore just how well balanced this beer is, I can’t even pander any trite dick jokes because there is no succor to be beaten from this libation, it is unquestionably one of the top beers of 2014, hands down.
M: This is yet another aspect where this beer outdoes itself and sets the bar for not only BA old ales/BABW but also a benchmark for adjunct laden beers in general. It is so refreshing and nimble, so thin on the mouthfeel that you can appreciate the variety of flavors without a cacophony of sweetness, residual malt, flabby underattenuated sugars, or any other chocolately sub plots that detract from the main thread. It begs to be consumed and I killed this bomber in the same amount of time it took me to drink De Garde Hose. That is fucking dangerous and it is almost irresponsible from a products liability standpoint for Fremont to even produce beers of this nature.
D: See above, I don’t need to retread this same well tilled ground: it is intensely enjoyable and highly drinkable. If it had a major fault, I suppose it would be that it is TOO easy to take down, perhaps the guilt of indulging that hard, that fast is the real lingering residue on my burlap colored teeth. If you miss this one, particularly with how criminally low it is trading right now, you might as well stick to BCBCS nonsense and become base filler in the trade game. Not tasting this beer renders you a place holding zero on the trade boards as far as 2014 is concerned. In fact, please don’t seek this out, let it turd up the shelves in PNW so I can hope to again savor this ambrosial delight.
NEW VEDEO REVUE: Des Garding Poppy van Amber. AGED IN HENRY VAN WINKLER BARELS
Traditional walonia, nice battery acid notes, those sub 2.5 PH levels just like they used to make at the time of harvest.
@degardebrewing HOSE, oh man these gose puns NEVR SEEM TO GET OLD.
A year ago, you couldn’t get a brewery to make a Gose. The Bruery made one back in 2011 and it was really unique and polarizing, intensely brackish and earthy, people rioted in the streets by way of their sticky moleskin journals. Flash forward a couple years and those same lazy ass brewers realized they could just use a California Ale strain, their same tired ass witbier recipe, and add some coriander and sea salt: BOOM CASH IN ON THIS HOT NEW STYLE. That certainly isn’t the case here because, we are dealing with not only Oregon, but De Garde. If they made a Gose that didn’t involve a gin barrel, we would call that a normal day. Anyway, let’s see if barrel aging a gose with coriander and then dry hopping the shit out of it improves this old recipe.

In 2008 Draft magazine awarded its FIRST PERFECT SCORE: to Westmalle Tripel.
Fantome Saison caught a hot 96. How far we have come.
Oregon, Somewhere on a cow farm or something, De Garde Brewing
Gose 4% abv
A: This comes out the gates looking all grassroots as can be, small batch, turbid, messy orange rind, intense carb that billows upward like the inevitable foamy discharge from bottles of Dom P up in the club. The lacing is lovely and clings with each sip cascading sirrus ringlets of malty residuals like the ever encroaching tide. I wipe a tear away from my eye and get back to shopping for Elsa’s Frozen Ice castle on ebay. The struggle.
S: The nose is brackish but intensely bright with a citrus aspect like Squirt and Sierra Mist. There is a sort of white grape and honey sweetness which closes dry and lightly herbal, a touch of green tea. It doesn’t present itself like a gose and the funk wafts more like a barrel aged table beer, if such a thing exists.

DISCUSSING GOSESES? This blog is shitty, but it could be way worse. Thank goodness for small blessings.
T: This is like the narrow penumbra between American Wild and Biere de Pays, it is lightly tart, musky carpet, grapefruit and lemongrass that closes with a touch of earthiness like chantarelle mushrooms. The salinity is largely consumed by the varying elements at play, tartness grinding up on that muskiness, things get salacious real quick, foam going everywhere, there’s one Bosnian dude no one invited just filming the whole thing in a sweatsuit. The salt and cheese lingers in your mouth and you secretly knew it would end like this.
M: This exhibits a creamy mouthfeel that is expansive on the swallow and ends up finish dry and with a certain degree salinity. It isn’t some tart bomb, but it isn’t exactly a blasee wheat affair either. It is the meeting of a hoppy brett beer like Crooked Stave dry hopped brett d’or and something more akin to Avril and the result is an intensely crushable beer that delivers on many levels. Really tasty stuff through and through.
D: Again as I underscored above, this is mad croosh and you can just drill it endlessly without pause or cause for alarm. At this point a 4% beer is what you space in between your 15% abv stouts so you cant really fret about the alcohol, but the real problem enters when you drill an entire bomber as an afterthought and immediately crave another and you realize that the shipping on the bottle cost almost as much as the beer itself. It is far too drinkable for its own good and I wouldn’t have it any other way. The Source tried to fuck Dre on the Chronic, but haters cant deny De Garde when they are pushing this kinda weight, five mics.
Merry Xmas from the PnW Santa. Jesus.
New Glarus Berliner, nice reasonable carb, perfect , once it hits your lips
@oddsideales Barrel aged morning wood, firing up that Xmas Yule log a touch early
Oddside has turned out consistent, tasty , approachable beers and their barrel aged program is steadily ramping up to top tier stuff. Their price point is absurd for the sheer quality and no one seems to want a sandpaper tongue BJ just to get their tasty wares.
This bottle is no exception. It is thin in the same vein as the CWXX and Central waters lineup, but still provides enough punch in the mouthfeel and mid palate that you don’t really have a valid grounds for complaint.
The taste is intensely roasty, deep char to the coffee, smoky vanilla bean, graham cracker and a dry espresso finish. It is like the kid brother to ba speedway, a skinnycow of the massive coffee stout world that delivers without leaving you with swollen udders.
In sum, a fantastic ba coffee stout to have on deck that isn’t quite on that BCBCS level, but it really doesn’t need to be. It does it’s own thing, is not a commitment to pop open, you can leisurely sip it while you cruise your eharmony account.
While not the best in the game, many redeeming factors that make it worth your time. People are straight extraing these awesome beers, beer game is str8 cray
Chocolatey shameful gourmand excellence.












