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@propolisbrewing Grewit, Listen I know everyone is doing barrel aged gruit reviews but I need these clickbucks

Oh Pacific Northwest, home of perpetual rainfall, grunge music, generous traders, and artisan everything, where would the beer world be without you? This brewery, Propolis Brewing, might be the most PnW thing to ever happen to the alegame. Don’t believe me? Go take a look at their fucking webpage:

http://propolisbrewing.com/ale.html

It is like everyone else in the brewing world has been working with stone tools and these homies rolled back from the Mojoverse with all kinds of bizarro fermentation technology from their dystopian herb-based future.  My body is ready for the timelines to merge. Anyway, since no one else is going hard in that gruit game without making Guardians of the Galaxy references, DDB might as well cover this breaking news.  Roll up the herbs for today’s review, ales about to get blunted

A barrel aged, herbal gruit, made in the PnW? This is like Phish concert levels of hippidom

A barrel aged, herbal gruit, made in the PnW? This is like Phish concert levels of hippidom

Barrel aged gruit, 7.5% abv

Washington, Unshaven Armpitsburg

Before I go on, I have to mention, these guys have a reserve society.  I am not shitting you up the dick.  If you want to go on an LSD tier communion with a conical fermenter on a monthly basis, peep this out:
http://propolisbrewing.com/ale-club.html

Read those descriptions, it is like someone weaponized a Bed Bath and Beyond.  Alright let’s get to this shit already

A:  You get deep mahogany and full burnt amber tones, ample carbonation, spotty lacing that clings and lingers with the tiniest of bubbles.  Instead of that solid Seahawk run game, this opts for slant passes on the carb and gets laced up with nucleation on the glass.  It is a questionable call, but I embrace it lovingly.

Go ahead and pop this with your derelict high school homies, let them savor in the herbal succor. Watch the arrests become expunged.

Go ahead and pop this with your derelict high school homies, let them savor in the herbal succor. Watch the arrests become expunged.

S:  The nose smells like the room of someone who listens to Tori Amos and owns several decks of tarot cards.  It is herbacious, incense, clove, myrhh, sage, and a hint of mint.  The petrulli oil notes come through like this beer was made for burning man and I feel like less of a man for not wearing abalone jewelry while drinking this.

Maybe popping some obscure new barrel aged styles is just the intervention your sad life at Chik Fil A requires.

Maybe popping some obscure new barrel aged styles is just the intervention your sad life at Chik Fil A requires.

T: The taste has a touch of burnt honey sweetness at the outset that gives weigh to a woodruff syrup and anise aspect that is altogether unlike anything else you may have tried, ever.  Unless you are some serious gruit master, this is completely novel all around and presents a sort of rye bread, pumpernickel, a tartness like red grape that lingers like the sustain of a Mars Volta SG. You might not be able to fully appreciate this beer unless you do home composting and own multiple hackeysacks.  You are just a part of their top fermenting system man, I wouldn’t expect you to get it.

M:  This is dry and herbal through and through, it finishes with a sort of pine aspect that is not hops and falls closer to the spruce tips realm.  Again, the tartness really brings this together and despite it being really difficult to classify I was easily able to take down the entire 750ml and their contributions are not only valuable but easily worth their price point.  Even if you don’t attend weekly drum circle meetings or own a dreamcatcher, you will still enjoy this complex and nuanced beer.  The carb is silky and crackles with life, fully masking the abv perfectly.  It is a true gem and easily the best in style that I have ever had. We are talking like the best of the 9 gruits I have ever tried.  THINK ABOUT THAT.

Girls be going crazy bout a shark dress gruit

Girls be going crazy bout a shark dressed gruit

D:  This is highly drinkable yet at the same time worthy of reflection.  It is kinda like how you can put on Buffalo Springfield in seclusion and no one judges you but if you try to put it on with anyone else around, suddenly you are a scrotum gargling indulgent asshole.  You can enjoy this secretly, but if you take this to a share with 2k13 tickers who love slamming adjunct stout variants, zero fucks will be given about this exceptional, balanced gem.  It will be our dirty herbal secret.

It would be easy as two smiling labias to write a narrative about this, but I shot my hippie load and used all the imagery above.  Sorry.  I still luv u bae.

Review dedicated to [REDACTED PHISH FAN], 1984 – 2016 RIP

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@fremontbrewing Coffee Cinnamon Barrel Aged Abominable aka that C.C.B.Bomb.

In what can only be described as an ISO:FT miracle, Fremont brewing has not been forced into a cattle car aboard the hype train.  Despite consistently knocking out big beers, having a solid barrel aging program and constantly rolling out delicious top notch hoppy beers, their fanbase refuses to be total shitheads.  If this brewery were located in say, Indiana, forget about it, you would see people attempting to trade Bbomb for one off cantillon, selling them on secondary sites, just really pricking up the place.  I liken these Washington tickers as a strain of the magnanimous Colorado breed: they just produce awesome beer and shut the fuck up about it.  Haven’t heard of Black Raven or Casey Brewing? Well it’s not their job to keep you informed, they will gladly drink up their world class offerings under the fall of torrential rain or snow, respectively.

So what do we have here, anyway? You might recall I previously already praised regular B-Bomb top to bottom as a leaner more nimble version of Kuhnhenn’s BB4d.  This is especially true of their recent offerings, solara style blending of a variety of different ages of barrels.  So that’s already what we are dealing with, THEN, they go and add cinnamon and coffee up in the mix.  I was skeptical, and I was fucking wrong.

ANOTHER ROUND OF BARREL AGED ALES AND THEN PLAY FREEBIRD

ANOTHER ROUND OF BARREL AGED ALES AND THEN PLAY FREEBIRD

Fremont Brewing, Seattle area, 11% abv

Strong Ale? It’s essentially an old ale/barleywine.  Let’s get to it.

A:  This just looks phenomenal out of the bottle, rolling with a great slick to it, deep mahogany hues and carb that actually delivers and doesn’t just lay placid like we have come to expect from big stouts and barleywines.  The cling is awesome and leaves sheets of mocha foam rimming the glass like a toothy prison blowjob. OH JUST ME? OK SURE.

When they announced this beer, instead of being a skeptical asshole, I should have jumped on it

When they announced this beer, instead of being a skeptical asshole, I should have jumped on it

S:  The nose works in waves of cascading roasted coffee, churros, cinnabon, milk chocolate, nougat, whoppers and closing with a sweet roasty aspect.  It delivers in equal measure what it promises and never lets one aspect upstage the others, like a finely tuned Brady Bunch performance, every child receives a moment to shine before KEEPIN ON KEEPIN ON KEEPIN ON back in the chorus line.  The real star here is the balance, god damn it all.  If BA Abraxas is the paradigm for excessive cinnamon sweetness, this demonstrates how to take two aggressive adjuncts and make them work in tandem to buttress the main goal: a fantastic beer.

T:  This flips the shit switch and the amount of balls tripped is not insubstantial.  You get all of the foregoing barista and horchata cinnamon goodness, but a whole other layer of butterscotch and vanilla and mallowfoam.  It never is excessively roasty, nor is it cloyingly sweet, and it complely avoids the mexican barrio panaderia route.  Again I must underscore just how well balanced this beer is, I can’t even pander any trite dick jokes because there is no succor to be beaten from this libation, it is unquestionably one of the top beers of 2014, hands down.

Sometimes you encounter a beer that is so good, you dont even know what to complain about

Sometimes you encounter a beer that is so good, you dont even know what to complain about

M:  This is yet another aspect where this beer outdoes itself and sets the bar for not only BA old ales/BABW but also a benchmark for adjunct laden beers in general.  It is so refreshing and nimble, so thin on the mouthfeel that you can appreciate the variety of flavors without a cacophony of sweetness, residual malt, flabby underattenuated sugars, or any other chocolately sub plots that detract from the main thread.  It begs to be consumed and I killed this bomber in the same amount of time it took me to drink De Garde Hose.  That is fucking dangerous and it is almost irresponsible from a products liability standpoint for Fremont to even produce beers of this nature.

D:  See above, I don’t need to retread this same well tilled ground: it is intensely enjoyable and highly drinkable.  If it had a major fault, I suppose it would be that it is TOO easy to take down, perhaps the guilt of indulging that hard, that fast is the real lingering residue on my burlap colored teeth.  If you miss this one, particularly with how criminally low it is trading right now, you might as well stick to BCBCS nonsense and become base filler in the trade game.  Not tasting this beer renders you a place holding zero on the trade boards as far as 2014 is concerned.  In fact, please don’t seek this out, let it turd up the shelves in PNW so I can hope to again savor this ambrosial delight.

CBBOMB is on that dual monocle tip

CBBOMB is on that dual monocle tip