Hnnnggggg
I be like
Ithaca Luminous, a gently tart crackly lil Brett beer that is a fond throwback to the Brutey days of yore.
This is essentially Brute 10 calorie edition. All the things you love with the volume turned down, nice Brett L tartness, mild acidity, light citrus and Brett B musk all wrapped up in a clean easy to drink package.
It makes me miss Brute more than anything, back in 2010 when that used to be considered a wild ale, now brewers would probably just call it a saison and give zero fuxx.
Luminous is pretty tasty tho, worth your time and consideration.
@alsofhamden Pizza Boy Brewing Absacio cell, dude have you guys even seen The Cell, Jennifer Lopez is amazing.
pizza Boy Brewing, those elusive minxes who for so long disallowed offsite bottles, well now we knock out another one of these tiny run bottles AT HOME.
The carb on this beer sizzles and immediately dissipates leaving you with an essentially flat beer that is intensely lactic and acidic on the nose like fresh cut apricot and peeled tangerines. The carb would help ratchet back some of the acrimonious tartness but thankfully this is not an especially complex beer and drinks easy with a thin dry mouthfeel like angry Chardonnay pricking the gum line playfully. As it warms there is a tropical fruit and a sort of 1D type of beatification , like if beat were a table beer.
Ultimately it gives with one drinkable hand and takes with a rapacious lack of complexity hand. What a horrible metaphor. This seems like it would be a fantastic base for fruited variants but seems incomplete, like buying a Mitsubishi Mirage and wishing it were an Evo. Some things need a touch of power panache or poise, not that this beer necessarily lacks any, but it fails to move me beyond the subcompact realm.
I need that Permasmile, obviously.
DDB Nukes them PA beers, gotta nuke something.
Upland Brewing Company Announces Bold New “Expectation Society”
Associated Press
Indianapolis, Indiana
Upland Brewing Company is no stranger to delivering consumers exactly what they want. From their celebrated diverse sour program replete with authentic lambics, nuanced fruited wilds, and universally celebrated Russian Imperial stout program: these Indiana brewers know how to satisfy the most demanding beer palate. Their new Secret Barrel Society is no exception:
http://uplandbeer.com/2015-secret-barrel-society-memberships/
Expectation Society also included brick and mortar location to pick up beers at, for no extra charge.
In an unprecedented move, early last week Upland announced a bold new secret society, only clandestinely made available to public on a website via press release. “Upland was formed by a glacier, that’s always been our motto, but we don’t intend on moving at a glacier’s pace, probably much faster even,” noted President Douglas Dayhoff after consulting an excel spreadsheet, “our sour program is definitely faster than a glacier.” We were allowed to tour the spacious Indianapolis facility where Dayhoff explained the innovative new program. “Everywhere in Indiana you hear people expecting things, in our brewpub you hear things like ‘I hope local home prices don’t continue to fall’ and ‘God I pray these Pacers get their shit together this year’ and that means one thing: Upland customers love expecting things,” Dayhoff noted as he slipped on a neoprene hazmat suit to enter the brushed aluminum Sour Containment Room, “you’re gonna wanna put the goggles on, the beer will burn your eyes even through the barrels.”
While surveying the intensely acidic potations slowly eating through the oak vessels, Dayhoff explained why hope was such a critical part of Upland’s business model, “we didn’t want to be like all those other breweries that accept upwards of $300 and then just give the consumer beer in return. Where’s the hope in that? Where is the romance? Sounds more like a transaction to me, and that simply is not the Upland way.” Upland’s business model has long been predicated on carnival games, raffles and parlor tricks. “We initially loved the idea of raffling off every beer needlessly, but then we started exploring retail models like throwing a ping pong ball into a fishbowl, knocking over Upland bottles with a softball, things of that nature, but they didn’t prove stable enough for a true reservation society.” Shortly after the polyurethane gloves began to bubble after handling some of Upland’s young lambic, we were led to the marketing strategy room. “What we ultimately decided to sell to the consumer, at the very fair price of $250.00, was the right to hope to be able to pay for a beer at a later date.”
Upland brewers hard at work crafting that authentic Pajontenland lambiek
The bold new strategy left many market analysts dumbfounded and perplexed that they had not thought of monetizing expectation based transactions earlier. “Now instead of entering a lottery or guessing the number of marbles in a jar to earn the right to buy an Upland beer, we cut that right out with a $250.00 membership which then allows you to give us money. It is exceedingly innovative and the perfect way to distribute our iconic ph2.0 libations to the public,” Dayhoff noted as he administered alkaline tablets to brewer, Pete Batule, as he lay on a cot with occupational GERD.
To ensure that the Upland consumer got the maximum amount of expectation per Expectation Society membership, they have guaranteed the right to pay for AT LEAST 100 Upland sour bottles with each membership. “It really wouldn’t surprise me if some people bought multiple memberships to ensure the right to pay Upland as much money as possible, Indiana residents are no dummies and love paying for the right to expect things,” Dayhoff nodded confidently while monitoring bright red litmus strips. “One red-faced patron Bloomington patron even asked me at our pub, ‘at least tell me I can come here to pick up the beers, please dont ship them, my home life is so sad I-‘ and I couldn’t help but feel for him, so every member will not be inconvenienced with having them shipped within the state to their doorstep, unlike some OTHER barrel programs.”
Nearing the end of the tour Dayhoff directed us to the gift shop and looked lovingly over the shelves of Upland branded merchandise, “this stuff practically sells itself I tell ya. Well I mean, it kinda does when we force the consumer to take it with their $250.00 membership, I mean look at this glass! That’s gotta be worth something right?” Dayhoff quipped and stared at the goblet for an uncomfortably long period of silence, brow furrowed.
“I will prolly buy a couple memberships for tradebait,” noted local resident, Daniel Rosenbalm
“One ex-employee noted that ‘Hey maybe actually sell the consumer some beer for upwards of three benjamins, I mean Upland is a brewery, right?’ and I mean, he was subsequently terminated for poor performance, but it got us to thinking. So in addition to the mountains of literally imaginary benefits already conferred, I also put this spicy little rider into the Expectation Society: ‘Other awesome events and benefits we decide to add on, spuriously and with adequately questionable notice, throughout the year for members.’ So if the first deluge of expectation and hope wasn’t enough, HANG ON COLTS FANS, a full year of mysterious hope COMPLETE WITH YOUR MEMBERSHIP!” Dayhoff noted walking around the parking lot, taking in the majesty of the local flora and fauna.
At the conclusion of the interview one employee slid a piece of paper into our hands which noted:
“http://uplandbeer.com/about/secret-barrel-society/ ….. shhhhh”
and insisted that the society was of the utmost secrecy.
We will continue to update the consumer as more expectations become available.
@sideprojectbrew Blueberry Flanders, not quite BlueBALs not quite a Flanders, but still a solid small forward like Pippen
Side Project, Missouri
7% Flanders (?) Awa aged in wine barrels
God talk about the most controversial SP beer to date. People already blew their loads over fuzzy and when this came out a mere weeks later, everyone was so saddle sore that they had no choice but to grumble and hem and haw. I have heard everything from glowing impressions comparing this to Blabby and hate speech saying this is a phenolic nail polish remover unfit for even Canadian consumption.
So what’s the real deal? Is it an acid bomb? Does it bring balance to the super tart SP catalog? Like a well placed maxipad, it lies somewhere strategically in between.
First and foremost, this isn’t a Flanders in the strictest sense. Sure the grist bill and best intentions may have started that way, but if this is a Flanders then Wanderer is a Rodenbach clone. It is slightly muddy but has a charming violent and plum aspect to it and contrasts the burnt amber when illuminated. You don’t get that straight magenta foam from most BilberZille offerings but it is serviceable in appearance.
The smell gets roughed up in the octagon by two opposing forces. On one hand we have the ultra pleasant blueberry and plum tannins imparting a slight juiciness and you want to hold their palms and run through the verdant clearing. At all times is an auspicious acetic harbinger of death that looms at cold temperatures threatening a red wine vinegar portent that speaks of grave implications. If you aren’t some toddler tier tickers with two ounce pours, you can let this open up and the real sweet spot is in the mid 60s temp when the two work in tandem. The berry bringing a happy depth and the acidic a cruel reminder of the baleful nature of the Flanders style and its angrier progeny: oud bruin. So the depression from the deeply acidic aspect is rounded out with a gentle sweetness like a well balanced Ivan Reitman film.
The taste reflects the foregoing and leans more toward the acidity and lactic dosing you have come to expect but never veers over the median into oncoming acidic traffic like Upland or Cascades blueberry offerings. It’s that special genus of overly acidic the you tolerate like a really slutty cousin, you know he is gonna grow out of this gaudy phase and into a well rounded individual. It’s better than chevalier but tough to place in the same realm as flora BALs and Lucy blue simply because it lacks a subtlety and nuance in that it punches in BERRY FLANDERS ACIDITY AND SCENE . If Al Pacino had a blueberry monologue this would be his emphatic delivery, that doesn’t mean you aren’t gonna still watch Hear for like the 50th time. I mean come on, blueberry bank robbery; it’s amazing.
So in summation, it’s a very good offering and ties back some of the loose threading that the prior ultra acidic side project offerings suffered from, if you have a curved cock and need a definitive SP ranking list, here you go:
unblended
Oude fermier
Grisette
Fenced out
Blueberry Flanders
Fermier
Blanc du blanc
Fuzzy
Le saisonnier
Saison du ble
Brett project 1
Pulling nails
Brett venture 1
Bv2
Black and mild
Once I tick those fruited fermiers I will keep you posted but for now I hope this gives some context to a brewery that continues to improve.
Writing praise is no fun. I need to start drinking shittier beers.
I am the best at what I do.
Used to move 8’s now DDB crushin 33’s just like Scottie Pippen
Splitting a 2L of a beer as crushable as Live Oak just don’t feel right, but gotta keep my PO off my back and all that.
Neshaminy Creek Trauger Pilsner is alright, I mean, they still make Pivo pils tho.
This beer was fine I guess. A standard pilsner that was like if you took Pivo and randalled it through kale and THC vape oil. It didn’t adversely affect my Assassin’s Creed experience or materially contribute to it.
Pirating continued uninterrupted.
There’s a drought in Texas and these godless traders are doing nothing to fix the problem by exporting all these liquids.
Is it possible to drink an entire growler of Live Oak hef week after week?
I am damn sure going to try.
Parker’s Heritage #7: Promise of Hope, 10 year single barrel. Werthers original, butterscotch and soft dry nutmeg notes. Simple but really tasty.
Proof that you don’t need an ultra expensive (er $80 retail) or super aged bourbon to present a delicious bouquet of sweetness balanced with subtle oaky presence. It doesn’t linger or overpower, it offers up a humble butterscotch treat and is confident you will enjoy the one dimensional warmth and simple pleasures of candied wood.
At least that’s what I think. Who knows. This is a beer website jeez
Trady just lit me up with a ridiculous donation box. He is truly the worst at sending light boxes.
Two Xyauyus. Who live like dis
dontdrinkbeer 