God damn the tome game is back on point so hard. Don’t tell em.

At $18 a 750ml, it’s straight decadent butterscotch wheaterzzzz. Shouldering the ranks with ec12 and buffalo trace for those bargain basement bourbon bangers.

Highly recommended if you need to buy spirits with your EBT card before hitting the Arby’s.

Dollar cheddar q’s.

If you were wondering which city has some of craft beer’s biggest dipshits, 312 is gunning hard for that honor this time of year:

http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/wan/4777143779.html

Xmas comes early every year when we get to see the self entitled parade of delusion, top tier beer experts hit the BA forums to complain how again this year they didn’t get to try bcbs. TWO YEARS IN A ROW SINCE THEY HAVE BEEN INTO CRAFT BEER.

Not even Santa’s could provide toys that serve up that much enjoyment. It’s the most wonderful time of the beer.

New coffins but the same old east side crypt.

Remember: if anyone asks, you tell those basic tickers to leave them on the shelf and buy pirate bomb instead. This is for the ghost hunters whose PL meters is banging.

That old bait and switch, 375 for $40 action to make you forget that you just paid some BTAC prices for that Makers juice.

LOL like anyone pays retail for btac

Lol like anyone can even buy btac.

Get your hazmat suits out for this 140 proof shit. Somewhere right around 70% abv, your gums just call in your sick and your penis uses its PTO. Nothing about this is refined or gentle, this is 23psi of boost with nos in the first gear while the turbo spools.

It pours syrupy thick with legs bigger than Nikki Minaj. The waft is intense lacquer, herbal vermouth notes, sawmill, it closes with intense fusel notes of ethanol and maple syrup meets sugar daddies. It’s like when your captor lays out all his implements on a towel and you are like “that’s going… Inside of me?”

The taste is some styrations for your liver, a deadening Novocain to the gum line and crackly heat along your bitter zones. It lends a syrupy butterscotch and gingerbread cookie soaked in cognac. It works the body with hay makers in the corner. The finish lingers longer than that 3 the next morning who wants to get brunch. The whole affair makes GEorge T stagg seem like a reasonable interlocutor by contrast.

I pussier out after an ounce and added a half ounce of water and things essentially returned to ec12 normal ass levels, defeating the purpose of this bottle entirely, unless you are like poor or something and need to make your bottle last. I didn’t buy this with an ebt card so I went back to anoos pounding no water no lube version and after your taste buds adjust to the shock, it is possible to enjoy this neat. Slow sips that coat the bottom lip like lip balm and that determination that some day you will pass that real estate exam and make it into the big leagues will keep you afloat.

Or just microwave it and pretend it is ec23 you poor asshole.

Edit: don’t microwave this, srs. Do not send DDB any tapes of you microwaving it they will not be opened.

I am drinking this off shelf common ass bourbon until the real ultra whale/prep kitchen aged whalezzz hit the scene.

Wallet game on point, racks in the front of them EVISUs

Back in 2011, Rare DOS was tearing up the trade boards, well unilaterally in a series of unanswered requests.  Like all those unanswered wishes for new Sklyander toys from shit head children, people simply couldn’t land that on site only libation.  Back in those days I gave up a 2010 Kate the Great 22oz (Kate the Great is a port spiral aged stout people used to give a fuck about) just for an illicit bootleg swingtop acquired in a questionable manner.  THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

Boy how things change.  Since then we have seen NOONERS out the ass, infected RareRRR dos, bottled DOS, and all kinds of pageantry.  So what is the deal with this bad ratchet?  All the fuckboiz on the block want anything in the lineage of a proud line of sugar water, so this should be no different.  This is Rare DOS but in Prtichard’s Double Chocolate Bourbon barrels.  So what happens when you take beer you want and mix it with a spirit you would never drink? Pretty much exactly what you expect.

Whenever Xzibit would take someone’s Civic, he would be like “yo I herd u like FISH dawg” and then the owner would notice that he now has a fish tank in his daily driver. The WUTTT is palpable.  That’s kinda how this beer is.  The base beer and treatment are already very tasty, and the addition of this extra chocolate infusion results in a sort of redundant cocoa mess that you would have to be srs CooKOO for Stouty puffs to enjoy.  The nose is all brownie batter, bakers chocolate, sticky sweet Magic Shell, and Mr. Goodbar.  The barrel profile is muted because of this Gene Wilder chocolate extravaganza going on that throws things all out of balance.  It isn’t a deal breaker but it’s like when beautiful full B cups are needlessly mutilated with gawdy DD implants.  The natural blessings attendant to balance and grace are maligned in the attempts to augment in excess.

The taste isn’t quite as sweet as you would expect but this entire lineage of DOSeses aren’t exactly toasty roast bombs.  There is a touch more of the barrel profile and some vanilla and mounds bar, but again its just cocoa dust, confectioners chocolate, a relatively thin mouthfeel spreading that all around and twisting some chocolate nips.  If you want your Brooklyn Chocolate Stout on full swole, this is the HGH brew you have been seeking.  It isn’t exactly bad, but it is deficient to the pre-existing archetype you probably already enjoy.

It’s not like anyone is gonna give two fucks any way after this Friday.  All of the basic bitch tickers put their lives on hold to score hundred thousand bottle nationally distributed walezes.

TFW u skull a huge chocolate stout solo and then change your eharmony information from “SOCIALLY” to “DRINKS: OFTEN”

Still so consistenly amazing. It’s hard to get all tumescent over moas this time of year when god damn straight jacket is out there on the loose.

This own gold at fobab, but DDB told you that shit well in advance. We didn’t even have a poverty tier bottle list either, DDB takes tick science very srs.

Finally, try this year’s Mash. It’s really tasty. Shameless witless apologist signing off.

Years from now they will judge us by the character of our beverages. Make it count.

While it wouldn’t be fair to characterize Michter’s as some sleeper hit, these single barrel offerings don’t get the praise that they rightly deserve. It looks innocent enough, a single barrel, 94 proof, not exceptionally old, iconic branding: why should we give a fuck?

The overall execution is greater than the sum of it’s individual attributes on paper, and I think many people saw the $80-90 price tag and winced for a ten year when Willett can be had for the same price, stay with me now: this bourbon is perhaps better than the WFE analogs in several respects. The nose, for starters, is rich and complex like werthers original, toffee, a touch of oak, sawdust, and bowling alley lacquer. You can ruminate on this for hours while watching a Murphy Brown marathon and wondering what your ex wife doesn’t see in you.

The taste is shockingly hot for a lil 94 proof temptress, more in that Willett realm but by no means a ECBP or GTS unworldly “water mandatory” sort of continuum. The taste has equal parts vanilla and butterscotch sweetness and a staggering depth of wood and resin for a mere 10 year old, the two work in perfect harmony and this dominates the fuck out of it’s price range when secondary markets and availability are considered. The michters 10 year rye? Well that’s a whole fucking different story for a other day.

Seek this one out, it will likely outdo the orvw and lot b you have been pulling your pud over, and you can live your life like a respectable human without giving HJs on the Kmart loading dock.

Meanwhile dipshits next weekend about to be like-

Hot damn those Florida traders know how to shovel shit briquettes into the hype train. Fortunately , this runs on it’s own fumes and is legitimately very tasty.

Is it like, non-infected Rare dos good? Well let’s not shoot our loads too early. Easy, you dale Earnhart fans don’t make your Dick trickle.

The pour is actually somehow more svelte and nimble than the Rarereeerer canon but looks great with faint carb. I just let the poison spill, the pressures unreal.

The nose is unquestionably the best part of this beer god damn just huff this like model airplane glue: raisins, figs, toffee, toblerone, bruised plum, and a port sherry closer that lingers so hard. God damn is can’t underscore how fucking good this smells. Do rails and rub Flintstones vitamins on your gums.

The taste is stil good but not rare dos good , chocolate but a bit too sweet, lots of sugar daddies and like gilded rolos, mildly fusel with a heat and faint brackish astringency that isn’t perfect but still really fucking good. If you can’t land rum BT, this is like the Petite first growth graft from that varietal. I know this is rye whiskey rare dos but oddly it comes across more like a Madeira or rum treatment, no scratch no burn just a sticky raisin load running down your step sons throat while he learns long division.

Florida shit.

This poster was in a winery tasting room, do they think brewers are like, fucking convicts?