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Sazerac Ryse Against and Papillons. THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS.

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Well it’s clear that I am a poor fuck who can’t afford that baller ass Sazzy 18, so here we are, blended poverty level, proofed down to 90 for Delta Gamma palates. But is it Worf it?

A six year rye for fucking $30? Shit yes this is worth it in so many levels. This is that Buffalo Trace pumping out the Honda accord of mid tier rye to make even modest wallets feel relevant.

The nose has a spicy rye crackle that is lightly herbal and has a white peppercorn waft to it, there’s a butterscotch to it but it’s pretty spicy and is not near as tame as the higher proofed Willett single barrel rye, which is surprising.

The taste has a varnish and heat to it, it rampages with a light an aesthetic quality that fills the sweet molasses aspects. It cannot be reasoned with and burns far more than the 90 proof would indicate. All in all a legit bargain though and not many things are comparable in this realm and this remains an old standby, especially if you have friends that are blubbering labias that like mixed drinks.

Perfect for the labias.

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This is my rye inside your heart.

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Hops and Grain Zoe is a tasty Texas pale lager, great to enjoy during a polar vortex. OH SHIT TOPICAL METEOROLOGICAL LEVITY

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Everyone is getting in on this ultra hoppy lager game these days, cast from the original glory that is Humulus Lager, we have tons of people bellying up to the bar with their same tired offerings but with a retooled yeast strain.

This is not one of those and drinks like an ultra clean, crisp pale. There is a light grassiness and dry pear with mild tangerine that finishes more watery than JACK DAWSON.

Never let go DDB. Never let go.

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@thebruery Rum Black Tuesday, on the Edward Kenway swerve.

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Not as sweet as I thought, a ton of black licorice and anise, drier than the standard Bee Tee. I enjoyed this and it didn’t overload the caramel or sticky saccharine aspects.

Also, has anyone actually taken a degassed FG reading of this beer? Everyone is a hilarious armchair nutritionist with beetus comments, but I would be curious to see what the real deal Holyfield is

Letting hookers and hoes know how I feel.

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New Glarus Cranbic I CANT STOP READING THESE OLD YEARBOOKS

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Man when New Glarus hits on their fruited releases, shit is pure uncut. But when things toe that saccharine line the pithy goodness goes off the rails.

This is a hybrid of both the needlessly sweet fruit beers and a needlessly acetic closer for a beer that is so simple in execution. I love how people lose their shit when the Bruery or Allagash releases some red wine vinegar shit, but when Wisconsin or Three Floyd’s does it, oh nooooo it’s just a different strain of Brett you haven’t tried yet.

This isn’t bad, but it isn’t exceptional contrasted to their canon of normal fruited sours. It has a waft of red jolly ranchers and life savers. It is sticky and acidic on the nose, I don’t get cranberry so much as I do fruit by the foot and squeezits.

The taste has a manner of Rodenbach acetic elements ratcheted up and then it attempts to balance it out with a sticky fruit profile that is wholly unlike the real fruited cranberries if you have ever tasted that hateful fruit. Go look at an Ocean Spray bottle they need to put 40g of sugar into that face melted to make it palatable, this is no different. It reminds me of a more acidic Belgian Red but is like the Billy Baldwin contrasted to the immense beauty that is Alec VSB or Stephen Wild Peach.

HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN SLIVER.

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It’s neither as good nor as bad as you expect.

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New Glarus Scream: GUYS THINGS ARE GETING VERY EMOTIONS

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So the perpetually divisive IMPERIAL IPA: that IIIIIIII-PA. Usually this shit is pretty binary, is it Hopslam and Knee deep territory or is it delicious RPM and Ephraim shit?

This is certainly in the realm of El Segundo power plant, very good not off putting and comes alarming close to absolute PtY greatness.

It isn’t hefty, it isn’t vegetal, it isn’t crystal, nor is it some honey flabby give gam gam a kiss sort of nonsense. This is a lean and taut monster that opens with a waft of 7th grade shake dro, gravity bong, earthy incense and raked leaves. This is no citrus walk in the weeds, this is briar rabbit public sex in the bramble patch.

The taste exhibits incredible balance and leads intensely dry and resinous. I once got paid to rake pine needles and this brings me back to that realm of sad labor. Not the beer, I just had shitty preteen days. It keeps delivering hard with a lingering finish that is oily and dank, arugula and- HOLY SHIT DID THEY SERIOUSLY CAST JENNIFER GARNER AS A SCIENTIST IN DALLAS BUYERS CLUB

are you kidding me. She was in FUKN daredevil. She was elecktra.

But anyway, this is oddly refreshing for such a massive hop bomb and pushes past the wheelie LOOK HOW MANY IBUS WE DID range, into a balanced and incredibly tasty beer. I can’t express a real surprise here, everything these Wisconsin Midas masters touches turns to trade gold.

With good reason. This is a great IIPA, I don’t often get to say that sentence often. It’s like “dad really loved my gymnastics floor routine” sentences like that.

Go get it while it’s still at 85 ibus, the ibus have a half life akin to iridium.

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Not even pissed tho.

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WHENEVER I DRNK ELIJAH CRAIG THINGS GET PROSAIC N EMOTIONAL

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Some people swear by Buffalo trace, others won’t shit up about old Fitzgerald, to others it’s yellow label four roses: this is my basic ticker bourbon. Endlessly affordable, swift and a nice sweet mallow profile and a dry caramel finish that closes quickly.

It’s not the 18 or the 21 or the 23, just the OG banger you can get at the liquor store to drink away the demons from that FICKING Tonberry King in ff8

Seriously fuck those cheap ass Tonberries.

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1997 Cantillon Vigneronne DDB still the Eric Wright of this beer game

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These late 90s loonz are str8 Teflon except they don’t break down over time. Tart grapefruit zest and a cheesy gruyere musk with a dryness like aged cheddar. I wish that fresh loonz came straight out the gates with this doesjel complexity but I guess like a late acting cialis, SOME THINGS COME WITH TIME.

But on the real, awesome beer and, like those ultra aged tomes, there is no substitute for spending 25 to life in a green glass SHU.