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Ddb reviewed Mexican Coffee Cake using the stringent, 150 character minimum, new Beer Advocate standards 

  
“Mexican coffee cake is essentially cake with a touch more roast, light acidity and less pronounced peppers. Cinnamon shines more, some prefer regular.”

A masterpiece of erudite contributions, only now will the numerical scores from falsely inflated homer reviews hold any gravitas, after composing over a TWEET LONG review. Adding this high bar of contextual excellence will surely prevent the Pakistani hired spammers from boosting the ratings on Lengthwise beers.

No one with artificial hopes of inflating and flipping beers will go through the trouble of composing such a lengthy epoch of material simply to drop hot 5’s. A bulletproof system for top tier opinion gathering is upon us.

A fantastic new paradigm of order and beer based insight has arrived, 150 discrete characters at a time.

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Alesmith BA Wee Heavy is right next to Logsdon oak aged bretta on the “top 5 most slept on releases” in the game right now

  
I love that this could easily be mistaken for a baller ass Barrel aged ENGLISH Barleywine, but close minded tickers see that “Wee Heavy” and stay at bay.

If maybe you didn’t love barrel aged old numbskull due to the hop interplay, this will rope you back into toffee, rolos, sticky coconut barrel aged goodness. There’s a bit of toasted profile to it, but it is more like a creme brûlée shell meets werthers original.

I pray that people continue to overlook this, that alesmith discontinues proxies, that ISIS disbands, and that the upcoming bourbon county release is a mutually assured destruction for all of the very worst people in the beer game.

I can only dream.

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CASEY CUT CAGEMATCH AKA THAT “TRIPLE C”: @caseybrewing Balaton Cut vs. Blackberry Cut. THEY WILL CUT U.

Colorado has a proud heritage of undersung, albeit incredible releases. In a bygone pre-pasteurizing era, New Belgium used to pad out the Whaley ranks with caged and corked one offs. For a period it was radio silence and the state was free to legalize marijuana, drive Subarus and make beers using breakfast cereal without impugnity. Colorado continues to have this absurd model of just delivering top tier beers directly to local consumers without artificially throttling output, using lotteries, or other stupid shit to artificially inflate branding or good will. WHEN WILL THEY LEARN. This concept coupled with the fact that Colorado traders are exceedingly generous kept the Rockies hidden like that colony in Atlas Shrugged where productive people could be free from usurious neckbeards.

Soft fruit. Soft lighting. Soft berry kisses.

Soft fruit. Soft lighting. Soft berry kisses.

Sadly, with mounting demand comes husky REI enthusiasts willing to brave long lines for fruited wild ales. I can’t fault Casey for this, but the typically genial Colorado population is maligning themselves with the rapacious Chicagoan paradigm. That little state is embracing hoarding like a stepmom with dementia. As a result these 1 per person, 120 count Casey Cut releases are the cat shit filled houses, with analogy extension.

For today’s review we are going to do a shootout of the original two Casey cuts to determine if they are worth the degree of balls-tripping that has resulted. Balaton Cut vs Blackberry Cut, two fruits enter, but only one condescending asshole emerges!

Turn slowly for maximum vend

Turn slowly for maximum vend

Casey Cut Blackberry

No corners were cut on the produce budget for this beer and the ridiculous Claire’s hue shows the tannins stacked on tannins, skins on skins. The radiant pour is welcoming but also had this dull fruity matte finish like when Persian dudes paint a 3 series flat magenta to prove its isn’t their dad’s car, he just still lives at home at age 33.

The turbidity is milky and seems to tenaciously grip its farmhouse roots without some clarifying e brake. I love the way these both look.

The nose is at the outset a bit mineral and almost brackish, spritzer with a huge berry roundhouse on the backend. This isn’t jammy tiny diner jellies, this is more akin to post harvest, first crush, warm fruit languishing on the rich silt, fruit skins and puppy musk.  Pour it into a gym sock and huff them fruits.

The look on both of these beers is just ridiculous.

The look on both of these beers is just ridiculous.

The taste of the blackberry is sharper than I expected but never puts a muddy lacto boot In your entryway. It is subtle and gentle, with a sort of award like Troy Casey wanted you to actually be able to drink an entire bottle to yourself. Imagine that, a wild ale that establishes itself without massaging the poles of extremes. The oak is not as pronounced as let’s say VSB or SHBRL, but it is also far more easy going. The Berry profile is like a sidecar on the coolest Vespa you have ever see. It doesn’t try to stunt or overwhelm, you just have a glowing appreciation for the ingenuity and character of it. It is incredibly good and rounds the edges off of the Nocturn Chrysalis model, a creamy soft mouthfeel like 500ct berry sheets.

Cherry poppin daddy

Cherry poppin daddy

Balaton Cut

All of the exceptional praise for the appearance on the blackberry carries over here except the bright KOOL aid aspects make it flow even more ridiculously. If you slit the throat of an otter pop this would be its arterial fluid: beautiful.

The nose is not as original or interesting as the blackberry, which is to say it is still phenomenal, albeit with other comparable existing analogs.  It falls somewhere in between the Fruitiness of Montmorency vs. Balaton and the acidity/cheesiness of Lou Pepe Kriek.  When those are the comparisons you draw, it’s safe to say Casey has it’s shit well in hand at this point.

feeling juiced rite nao

feeling juiced rite nao

The taste is a relaxing romp through the cherry orchard, more blossom than fruit, more languid stroll than ravenous gathering. It has the hallmarks of some of the best krieks, the skins from De Cam but with a distrinctively Sante Adairius sort of pillowy safety to the mouthfeel.  The acidity is kept well in check and it never feels robitussin forward or strays into the elusive Ludens cough drop zone.  While it may not reach the ultimate subllimity of say Cable Car Kriek, it stands head and shoulders over many of the highly lauded recent fruited wild ales.

BUT DDB WHAT IF I HAVE ACTUAL PRIORITIES IN LIFE AND CAN’T TRACK THESE DOWN?

Alright, well maybe you are at the wrong website, but there is limited hope if you find yourself in this situation.  While hardly “easy” to land, you could always try for Lou Pepe Kriek or, in a pinch, go after regular shelf Drie Fonteinen Kriek. I can’t say that the De Garde lineup has anything directly analogous to these beers and honestly the best alternative might be just another Casey beer:

150% THE FRUIT AW LIFE IS A BOWL OF CHERRIES HOMIE

150% THE FRUIT AW LIFE IS A BOWL OF CHERRIES HOMIE

While not as complex or bright, even the “150% FRUIT MONTMORENCY FRUIT STAND” is still a fantastic beer.  You get the refreshing berry character, that same soft mouthfeel, and incredible crushability. Plus, just look at that beer, god damn does it look inviting. The perfect beer to crush after savagely screaming at your son’s little league coach. REFRESHING.

Sometimes being your own biggest competitor is an ideal situation to embrace, and I can’t think of may other breweries executing fruited wild ales with this much balance and tiptoeing as Casey Brewing.  If you want something subtle that you can drink to yourself while you sob and call phone numbers out old yearbooks, CASEY HAS THE PERFECT GEMS FOR YOU.

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Opened Herfst, on a BOAT. Boats and herfsts.

  
Inb4 “proper glassware.”

Apparently after traveling from Belgium to Sweden to SF to LA, this poor guy couldn’t stand the jet setter lifestyle.

Opened Herfst on a boat. Cork was breached with slime under the foil, completely oxidized acetic and flat.

Then I got a SINKING feeling.

So in sum, a completely ruined mess from Drie is still better than some Awa’s that are legitimately trying. We all learned something today.

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Sippin a 2013 Sucaba, messaging all my friends on my AIM list and everyone is idle. SUCH BORING AWAY MESSAGES.

  
I love it when people argue that this beer doesn’t hold up over time. This is a Semtex of black cherry, cocoa powder, plum, currant and oak. 

Please leave these on the shelf for me. I will continue bringing them to tastings and LOL as these consistently sweep the protohyped releases.

If not for two defective fringe ratings in the Blind BA Barleywine tasting this and Great would have placed much higher. Walking in to a random Bakersfield liquor store and finding the pinnacle of a style is something most genres do not enjoy.

Tl;dr Sucaba is still hot in the streets.

  

Easy decisions.

6

Cuvee Dry Hopping 2015 @brewerydupont : These dudes are gonna get sued by Crooked Stave for using the word Vielle

DDB putting up hot reviews back to back like we on the cover of Lethal Weapon:

rattattatatin on that like Nick Cannon with the snare drum

rattattatatin on that like Nick Cannon with the snare drum

Dupont enjoys one of the most intense disparity in fan bases. It is a perfect inverted bell curve of appreciation by people just getting into beer, and end game beer nerds who are too jaded to like anything but the staples with which they began. The allure of classic green glass, simple caged and corked majesty. These beers hold inherent appeal to grocery store ballers who are just separating their tether from the realm of Rogue and Lagunitas riffs.

I love this stage of beer discovery because it can largely shape and affect future palates if they choose to spec their character with a farmhouse load out in lieu of the old Rasputin tank or Chimay mages. Dupont offers fantastic accessible staples of the saison world that continue to shape consumers and tastes year after year.

Invariably beer nerds transfer their nascent palates from grocery store to bottle shop to brewery only to nano to fedex until they hate all beer. Like a tightly crafted screenplay, dupont always returns in the third act like the good guy in a romcom who was the perfect choice all along. If you want to take a litmus test of where a beer dork is at in the spectrum you can ask them about DuPont and tell immediately in what esteem they hold their unreproachable opinions.

Cant fool these tickers they know what's up, haters say DDB dont write enough, in the brewery getting shoulder rubs

Cant fool these tickers they know what’s up, haters say DDB dont write enough, in the brewery getting shoulder rubs

I would say the majority of DDB readers fall squarely in the middle to end game demographic so reviewing any DuPont offering seems like some low hanging fruit for which I will receive endless complaints from my fedex pimping contingency, I am ok with that.

So today we have the dry hopped cuvee of the standard DuPont saison. A slightly more rare spin on the old standby, let’s service both holes and poles in today’s review.

Here’s their commercial rubdown:

“Every year a special batch of Saison Dupont makes its way out into the world. Saison Dupont Cuvee Dry Hopping is a unique spring on a classic favorite. For 2015, Olivier chose the famous English hop Minstrel, a blend of the renowned Cascade and Sovereign varieties. Brewed only once, this is a chance to taste an exquisite and refreshing Saison with herbal tones and notes of fruity spice. The dry hopping creates accentuated floral, spice and citrus notes all on top of the classic base beer you’ve come to love. Being experimental, only a very limited supply is released just once per year, so you’ll have to be quick to find it”

The carb on this is somewhere between excessive to apeshit. Like seriously, no one needs this much effervescence, it looks like a malfunctioning clothes washer spewing foamy with no regard for your desires. I went and listened to a full Descendants album and 24 minutes later it was ready for drinking. The cling absolutely destroys the glass with residual malt, leaving it looking like some overdone haunted house with arachnid webbing strung akimbo.

The 2014 cuvee used challenger hops...for some reason. Not my favorite but IM NOT THE BOSS OF BELGIUM.

The 2014 cuvee used challenger hops…for some reason. Not my favorite but IM NOT THE BOSS OF BELGIUM.

The nose is dry and floral, more so than the standard riff. It has a leafy arugula and sappy aserose note that plays beautifully with the Anjou pear and biscuity goodness of the base saison.

The taste is even more dry than the nose if that is scene possible. It crackles with life like estery pop rocks leaving clove and banana in equal measure with lemongrass and unripe mango. For every ISO out there for Dorothy and Lattice, this just sits longingly awaiting the casual embrace. Yes I know this isn’t barrel aged but the simplicity in execution doesn’t seem to warrant it. It is more of a Buster Keaton performance that stands on its own classic laurels without wordplay or nuance.

If you backslide to noob territory or climb to the peak of being completely jaded by beer, this classic beer waits for you at restaurants and sitting in the Hyvee cooler. You can drink it and your life won’t be any worse for the wear, maybe you can spend all that saved money on orthopedic shoes for your kid or that Invisalign that your girlfriend keeps mentioning. The world is your economical oyster.

the carboard rave flyer is not for trade.  ULTER RAER

the carboard rave flyer is not for trade. ULTER RAER

EDITORS NOTE: In case it was unclear: Crooked Stave is not going to sue Dupont.

Trinity might sue Dupont though for using the word “provision”

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FUNDAMENTAL OBSERVATIONAL HUMOR: What’s the deal with vanilla stouts, have you seen these @bottlelogicbrew

What turbulent times we live in, after months and months of California beers being sent gratis to ungrateful proxies, the west coast has rolled out two turbo hyped vanilla bean stouts in the past month. To keep things in chronological canon, today I will be reviewing this OC bete noir that came lunging out of the stables, tearing vanilla ass all over the trade boards: Fundamental Observation.

This beer is darker than a Kardashian soul

This beer is darker than a Kardashian soul

I would like to feign surprise that this beer is amazing, but I already told you that it was the best beer at the Bruery anniversary party.

OH WOW REMEMBER WAY BACK TWO MONTHS AGO NO WAY

BUT NO ONE LISTENS TO OLD DDB. I guess the real surprise is not that Southern California breweries kicked out another world class beer, but that the midwest actually raised their heads from their landlocked, high fructose corn syrup lifestyles to take heed.

Let’s be honest, Puga Royale is already on par with BVDL and the average Bourbon County baller can’t be bothered to give a shit about Hangar 24. Fundamental Observation is an absolutely outstanding beer, but predicating validation upon the palates of the trade boards is like asking an Adam Sandler fan to explain the nuances of Werner Herzog.

The best part of the entire affair was that, despite the brewery selling out of 2000 bottles in 90 minutes, a fraction of the bottles went to a massive footprint of like 9 different Orange County bottleshops. Suddenly all the vanilla rye coveters care now about “distro” and “massive 2800 bottle count releases” in their rhetoric. Despite seeing plenty of Black Friday pics of dudes with entire cases of VR scooped up from Walgreens, the 6 bottle limit on FO was a real sticking point.

Enough about trade board bullshit, let’s flick this god tier bean

gotta use that TOME outline for beers this dark, specialty equipment called in

gotta use that TOME outline for beers this dark, specialty equipment called in

Fundamental Observation, Bottle Logic, Orange County, land of botox and Tommy Bahama shirts

Imperial Stout, Barrel aged with Vanilla Beans, 14.3% abv

The pour has a massive viscosity to it that tumbles out like jet black dishwashing detergent. It hits the glass with almost a muffled gurgle, like rounds out of a silenced .38 snub. The sheeting has hilarious clear legs but a inky oily petroleum center showing the duality of sugar and ethanol as two harbingers of your evening ending with several Hot Pockets.

The nose is so over the top that it is almost a punchline in execution. If you crack a glade vanilla air wick in half you’ll get this YANKEE candle blast of whoppers, kit Kat bars, and ridiculous amounts of waffle cone madness. Those who loved Nooner8 in its heavy handed Hazelnut jabs will absolutely love how above and beyond this grinds those beans. The nose is actually better on vanilla rye as a result as some of the finer points within the barrel and roast are preserved. However, assuming the blunt palate of dipshits who love adjunct stouts and confirming tastes by reading labels: this is other worldly.

These busy ass labels are a bit too much for me, but when the beer is this amazing, I will set aesthetic disputes aside

These busy ass labels are a bit too much for me, but when the beer is this amazing, I will set aesthetic disputes aside

The taste itself edges out Vanilla Rye and comes close to BVDL strictly due to the armor plated mouthfeel. It leads with this rolling wave of ROASTY destruction, the chocolate malts serving as lacquered boards for the substantial vanilla and milk chocolate to stomp upon. There is no delicacy to this frenetic performance of sweet fudge and oak, it trudges with coconut and Coldstone creamery wraiths haunting every section of your palate in perfect subjugation. It is the tastiest possession this side of a candy shop exorcism. Dump brownie batter on a Quija board and start this sticky seance already. The label reads “two servings” and perhaps that is true, but I let this open up to even room temp and the seams did not show. This is a finely tuned machine of bean based destruction.  The streets will flow with the hot fudge of the non-believers, none shall be spared.

In sum, if you loved Nooner8 and want to ramp up the vanilla in the way that Nooner8 did with hazelnuts, then this is your huckleberry. If you like a more nimble, gentler approach like Pugachev Royale, then perhaps you might enjoy this slightly less.  If you are all about refined, yet pronounced barrel character, maybe go trade for a Kaggen, after you google what a Kaggen even is.

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Gigantic Brewing Bourbon Barrel aged Massive, finally a beer worthy of this brewery’s monicre

Gigantic is an odd shaped foot print relative to PNW scene. It doesn’t dominate the hop game like Boneyard, it isn’t a big beer factory like HotD and I can’t really speak on their wild ales or confirm their existence. For many of their offerings, the incredible label art is the best part of the experience.

  
Ironically this beer with a relatively uninteresting label is easily the best beer that they have ever made. Unlike the apeshit Too much coffee man black saison with coffee, this beer just gets down to business with a barebones babw scrapper. I had heard titterings about this but I was wholly unprepared for this blast of toffee and caramel, that kit Kat Rock salt hitting my chest like a 20 gauge shell.

It fires on all cylinders and offers up a requisite degree of malty sweetness but tempers it with a barrel profile that reminds me of Whoppers malt balls. The body is not some under attenuated flabby saccharine slob, it is tight and focused in execution throughout and probably isn’t too tough to lock down as the hype does not lie with this one.

The ratio of quality to accessibility is sky high on this one and you would be remiss to skip this fantastic ba barleywine, if only to see the very best that them Gigantic boys are capable of.

Things couldn’t be more massive.