Monkish releases a pale ale today and it’s as dro g13 as can be expected from that tiny size 36 suit jacket frame: toss a lil citra Theory suit over those Seacrest shoulders and sign it up for a rhizome Zumba class. It’s delicate but I actually prefer this noncommittal structure in these wispy cream of wheat ghoulies. All the flat brimmed dudes in fourth owner WRXs seem to prefer Supreme shirts and shiftless 11%abv tipas, and sure there’s a time and place for those, just not all the time. there is a spent milk sweetness to the body that’s watery and lemony with a splash of rosemary. It’s subtle in a way that few in the hazycraze will give a shit about, which is perfectly fine by me. I didn’t even see a single pit bull or absentee parent at the tasting room today, is it even a can release at that point? Happy Halloween I GUESS 👻 

Let’s talk about some @listermannbrewing offerings and weigh these sticky Ohio treats. The ninth anniversary beer takes every page from the Jackie O’s pastry canon and dips each sheet in sticky molten milk chocolate fondue. Cinn/coffee/walnut/vanilla merges with a tight clean body but ultimately tastes like soft serve made with a coffeemate creamer underpinning. It’s not too viscously sweet, nor is it one dimensional, it’s their weird melange of contrasted flavors like a puréed Ferrero Rocher, which is fine for limited applications but ain’t nobody bringing foil balls to the movie theater. 

Inb4 potato salad pics. 

Their IPA offerings are more compelling and in line with Hoof Hearted albeit with far more poise and restraint. 99 Problems didn’t eschew boil hops but also isn’t a one dimensional apricot dry hopped NES cart. The bitter overtakes with a pithy grapefruit zest and pushes down drinkability but a lightly pulpy mouthfeel offsets this. It’s very legit if not short of the regional champions in the IPA realm. Every region seems to have one these days, except like, Florida [inb4 bulldog gentleman or whatever.] 

Sidekick photo level reaching full tater status.

finally we have a blurry potato pic of their Kopi Luwak barleywine. This beer is intense and malty with a nice bitter roast and substantial mouthfeel akin to a component blended beer from the likes of alesmith [cf. Reforged or weird Tusk and Grain items.] it is good, but Life it is not as the lifelike aspects have been scoured away in the bean washing process. I understand when breweries mash fat stacks on expensive coffee they don’t want to drop the grinds, but if the base could be anything, then the nuance is lost. The precious 60g/400g pourover ratio. Everyone has their bean flicking spot. Ultimately this is another very diverse and solid Ohio brewery that snatches at the JO realm whole outshining countless other forgettable breweries in their realm. Push me to the edge, all my stouts are dead.

O

H

I

O

It was an honor to be asked to write for the Craft Beer and Brewing magazine “best of” issue again this year. Check it out if u aren’t 2cool4printmedia 

[it is available online as well.]

What a time to be alive.

For a brewery that can sometimes lean into the eccentric or Scratchesque innovation, @tiredhandsbrewing has had a silent fermenter lock bubbling with classic, clean offerings. Their helles was banging and an impressive Schwartz/Hidden Valley Rauch seems directly in line. It’s without pageantry or frills, no exotic produce to compel the smoky black and mild malt, just an efficient watery swallow that furthers this recent smattering of high flavor low calorie drillers I have accidentally been reviewing in tandem. There’s a hint of anise and good and plenty sweetness that dudes from the Netherlands would love to rub salt all over and call it a treat, but gripping Pirellis and toasted clutch on the nose. The fuchsia ATF fluid remains unroasted, my headgasket unblown. In arguably one of the least compelling or hype driven styles possible, These Ardmore boys are shining almost defiantly to lend a sage credibility to perhaps more Flour and Bean driven exploits. BUT WAIT TIL WE GET HAZY RAUCHBIERS THEN OH MAN U JUST WAIT SO MANY FOLDING CHAIRS

BIL is a group full of habitual line steppers, this is barleywine albeit highly circumspect. It’s like if someone tasted that ultra thin, almost too dialed in body attendant to Central Waters and decided to remove the bbw aspects. It is distinctly hoppy and has that lightly tobacco swallow that doesn’t come anywhere close to hoppy ambers or a malty mid 2000s “DIPA” but it’s weird. It’s like when Lean Cuisine tries to approximate a 300 calorie osso bucco, or when they release creme brûlée flavored isoprotein. You know what it’s up to but, something is inherently lacking. It’s not the beer’s fault and it’s kinda charming in a Bumble date/noncommittal way. You don’t gotta make a whole night out of it like a clingy Melange 3. Similar to the Tioga/Wren making Zumba-tier revisions of high fructose drops, this is a quirky Michelob Ultra weaning for someone who hasn’t quite given up on the maltlife.

@tiogasequoia and @wrenhousebrewing teamed up and made zero calorie Mexican Cake. I don’t mean this is dripping in stevia tones, I mean that it’s actually approachable and something you can open without making an entire evening of it or risk losing custody of your kids over. It’s chili casual, for the choco-curious. The body is that weird uncanny valley between Porter and the thinnest imperial stout, which works well for the abv and flavor profile. The heat is mild and integrates nicely with the other additions but molé Nestle Quik would be the best description, but made with evaporated milk like a Mormon household because you got six siblings and Tanner don’t you drink that orange juice without adding water to it, hear me? Overall I would love to see these South Beach diet versions of existing excessive archetypes. It is a touch conflicting to retro engineer those flabby mexibomb stouts into cleaner more approachable types, but I like it. Consider this the training wheels for your dipshit coworker who loves to read beer labels as he drinks it and declare what he is tasting. He will eventually be steeped in MBC and raffle shit, but this is his first apple hit of sativa before getting into wax chocolate dabs and chili shatterpieces

Damn, enjoying this canned life even more than last year’s bottling. Less gourd, more oak and greasy waffle cone, this lightly sweet caramel and this prailine swallow makes this align closer with an old ale than a wheat wine as a composite. Scary drinkable, look for Chrysler Pacificas driven straight into pools, AZ concealed carry permits revoked.

2009 was that year when all these nit picking no pussy gettin hater bloggers complained about the two batches of Blab and b1 was allegedly the “good” batch. This is b1 and while compelling, everyone who exists in a post-blab orbit knows that this beer is for trading away and not opening when St Lam is better anyway. 

Irregardlessly this is still holding up nicely and edging into old age gracefully.  Dry with steadily increasing acidity and a lip smacking almost brackish finish. Kinda wish I could have had 1oz of this out of a filthy taster glass in an Illinois back yard for a more authentic Blabaer experience.