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RYE VS RYE CAGEMATCH: @Michterswhiskey Single Barrel 10 year Rye vs. Barrel Strength Rye, IT’S GONNA BE SPICY

Alright we have been to Japan and stomped all over the verdant grasslands of VerdeMont, let’s bring some down home earthiness back to this tire fire of a website: RYE REVIEWS. Today was have a double header shootout, some Michters on Michters action, M4M NSA encounters.

On one hand we have an old favorite which has been out of production for a few years: single barrel 10 year michters rye. On the other reach around we have a brand new upstart in the Michters limited release catalog: a barrel strength rye weighing in at 112.2 proof. TWO SPIRITS YOU DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT DUKING IT OUT TO THE DEATH.

Pop a roggenbier and get your pussyface ready for today’s shootout

Basses, Michter's.  Papillons.  What else do you need in life?

Basses, Michter’s. Papillons. What else do you need in life?

Michter’s 10 year single barrel rye

This pours a radiant amber gemstone, it has a nice caramel darkness to the center and appears older than its stated age without any “black back label” chicanery muddying the waters.

The nose is bakers spice, cinnamon, floral in a hibiscus and pepper sort of way but exhibits a restrained fusel profile. It exudes fall but remains welcoming enough for warm weather swerve, pushing kids off their bikes, eating that summertime ass. Typical rye-based endeavors.

The taste is a smattering of allspice, apple fritter, light oakiness, clove, a touch of peppermint and red fruit to the finish. It is endlessly drinkable and I wish I had the means to make this my go to, but these bottles get scooped hard and clock in around $175 on secondary these days so, poverty tier Four Roses single barrel oesk picks will have to do.

It is phenomenal and better than Saz18 in my opinion, but I am sure vas deferens will shatter at even mentioning such a proposition.

no photo of the two bottles side by side? man fuck this website

no photo of the two bottles side by side? man fuck this website

Michters barrel strength rye

Before this was even released, spirits enthusiasts has achy nipples at the $80 price tag and bemoaned the rising cost of Michters products. The saber rattling of “WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE THIS IS SOURCED FROM” resounded through leaky basements and katana sword collections.

Big salty alligator tears rolled down stretch marked mantits and people already decided that SAOS and Willett single barrel picks were a better deal before even trying this shit. BOOHOO UNNAMED SOURCING AND NO AGE STATEMENT, I cant even enjoy it, who cares if it is delicious I HAVE ALL THESE REASONS.  I DONT CARE IF WILLIE PRATT GAVE ME AN HJ DIRECTLY OVER THE ORIGNAL STILL I NEED INFORMATION BEFORE THINGS TASTE GOOD.

"I might like this rye, hang on let me Google more information about it before I decide if it tastes good"

“I might like this rye, hang on let me Google more information about it before I decide if it tastes good”

So what’s the real deal?

This pours even darker than the single barrel rye and seems to have a more syrupy consistency to the legs. This is oddly dark for the “projected” 8 year age (BRUH ITS REALLY A 4 YEAR CASK WOODFORD RYE D00D I CAN TELL) and looks like some of those geriatric teenager rye offerings. Before you start blubbering about MGP sourcing, chill the fuck out, while Michter’s is cagey about identifying anything THE BOTTLE SAYS KENTUCKY, relax.  Get drunk.  Stop being an incendiary dipshit.

The nose is more aggressive than the single barrel and pushes an agenda replete with pencil shavings, red hot candies, raspberry tannins, gingerbread, and crushed leaves. It is unquestionably bolder but even with the 56% abv, it never becomes cloying or even hints at warranting water.

The mouthfeel is far superior to the single barrel and leads with a syrupy mint and coriander, the oak is more pronounced and it has less of a holiday feel to it, offering instead sheets of pepper and spice. To balance things our there is a bit of marshmellow and faint sweetness, like 4ROBSK/high ryed bourbons in a way.  It feels like a tamer version of THH, or a more ballsy Saz18, hitting an Aristotelian golden mean well warranting the cost of entry in my opinion.

Y ONLY ONE PIC OF THE m10 RYE WORST WEBSITE EVR

Y ONLY ONE PIC OF THE m10 RYE WORST WEBSITE EVR

So which one is the turbo badass?

The m10 rye is certainly the more refined and overall more enjoyable rye. It has balance and poise, it needs no coddling and is perfect to slam right before a PTA meeting.  Try them both, or just talk shit and buy SAOS instead, I don’t give a fuck what you do with your money.

I have no business reviewing whiskey of any sort.  I barely finished my community college air conditioner repair associates degree.

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RYE COLOMBIAN LADDER MATCH: Sazerac Rye vs. Thomas H. Handy, The HNNNNG is real.

Teflon bullet proof the lambo, making excellent life decisions.  Saz6 got drilled harder than Sasha Grey.

Teflon bullet proof the lambo, making excellent life decisions. Saz6 got drilled harder than Sasha Grey.

Saved a drop of the regular saz to pour out respect for some distillers lost around the way.  Free C Murder.

Alright, much to the chagrin of whiskey kids who actually know what they are doing, DDB continues to review ryes with his 9th grader palate acting like they grown. Let’s break these 17s into rock bags in today’s review:

MFW traders offer up Nuthuluululolz for THH.

MFW traders offer up Nuthuluululolz for THH.

Sazerac Rye, Poverty Edition, $29.99 bottle

6 years old, 90 proof

This is the basic ticker entry level rye which admittedly smokes most other ryes in the category (Templeton, etc.) but how does it hold up against the aggro, uncut, straight dro THH? Well this is an admittedly beautiful rye with deep caramel notes that seems older/darker than the 90 proof/6 year would belie.  The nose is cinnamon, red hots, baker’s spice and cocoa powder, some lively crackle and white pepper on the finish.  It seems far more complex than some proofed down shit in the same segment and seems to stand closer to Michter’s rye in execution.

The taste is smoothe, no need for ice cubes or water, shit is already prepped RIP to Nate Dogg but no need to regulate.  The taste is sweet at the inception like melted caramel, spicy black pepper, imperceptible abv, a honey closer and syrupy coating along the bitter zones.  It is admittedly very tasty and could go toe to toe with far more expensive offerings like the jet fuel 2 year Willett Rye that costs almost twice as much.

U TALKING SHIT ON BUFFALO TRAEC? dont get socked fool. BTW what is a heaven hills?

U TALKING SHIT ON BUFFALO TRAEC? dont get socked fool. BTW what is a heaven hills?

Thomas H. Handy, 6 year uncut rye, 129.2 proof

Previously this offering received the most attention in the BTAC lineup but with Saz18 having abysmally low counts and WLW essentially flipping the script on what wheaters are capable, this bottle has been criminally overlooked in 2014.  But is it worth the universal praise? Is this just BTAC marketing and hype? IS BUFFALO RUNNING GAME ON US LIKE SOME 2am TINDER FLOOZIE?

In short: no.  This is fucking phenomenal.  If we are talking comparable priced items in the realm of Michter’s 10 rye and Willett 8 year rye, both phenomenal offerings, this unloads a full banana clip like an ACR bushmaster. The color is this tarnished bronze like gladiator codpiece, radiant at the edges like honey and legs longer than Taylor Swift.

When readers hook up spirits you have no business owning its like THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

When readers hook up spirits you have no business owning its like THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND

This is over 2/3rds alcohol and, while present, there’s more to love in this Rye’s eharmony profile.  There’s a load of wafflecone, soft serve vanilla ice cream, nutmeg, and a mounds bar closer.  The waft doesn’t knock you out like fight night. Shit is deceptive, and things get fully turnt very quickly.

The taste is where the heater was hiding, laying low waiting for you to start slipping.  It immediately hits the sweet zone with an anesthetic dullness that coats substantially crackling along the bitter zones with a maple syrup and apple pie lighting shit up like Charlie Sheen in Platoon.

While you CAN drink this neat, and I would love to be that hard as nails reviewer, this opens up beautifully and is vastly superior to Saz6 once a splash of water is added.  Not down to 90, but lets call it 9 eyedrops full. Then shit is beautiful, its like in shitty romcoms where the clearly hot girl changes out of overalls and takes her glasses off.  We all knew she was legit, this just ups the appreciation into more normative levels.

The negs make distillers want you more, instill insecurity at the outset of a whiskey review.

The negs make distillers want you more, instill insecurity at the outset of a whiskey review.

SCIENCE VERDICT RESULTS:

Ok so big shocker, the one that costs four times as much is better.  But the important thing is that the valley is not nearly as wide as the Stagg Jr vs. George T Stagg.  In fact, once water is added, it’s like being in the same club except the THH has a table with ratchets hanging all over.  But it’s kinda the same night just scaled up.

WHAT DO I KNOW I JUST TOOK TWO SHOTS AND RELIED UPON MY THESAURUS THIS ENTIRE TIME.

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Boulevard Brewing Company, Rye on Rye, HOT STICKY RYE ON RYE ACTION, alcohol was involved.

Initially I did not seek out the Boulevard lineup because I really didn’t know what they were exactly, I just knew that they were from the midwest, traded mid-range, and weren’t on the top 100. Oh how I have learned from my transgressions. Their brett saison was a mouthgasm and this is like huffing exhaust from a Maybach: classy and destructive.

Sometimes it feels like this should be a pay site with all this hot Rye on Rye action going on.

Boulevard Rye on Rye, 11% abv, Rye Beer

Bottle #1767 of 12148, LOSES POINTS FOR LACK OF ULTRA RARE.

Ok so they took an amazing Rye Beer and then put it into barrels of Templeton Rye whiskey and aged it until we got this raucous potation, ready to scrap with the best of Affliction t-shirts.

A: The appearance is a deep murky amber with ruby tones and a translucence that light passes changed like an aurora borealis. The carbonation is absurd and gets nimbus status real quick and takes 3 minutes to stratify into porous catacombs where the aromas go to die. Looks like bayou bubble bath for neglected children.

This beer feels classic, yes impure, like being beaten with a Dinoriders toy, but you secretly like it.

S: There is a waft of whiskey, mild heat, prunes, figs, toffee and melted brown sugar similar to bananas fosters. It’s like getting a hug from your postman, professional but not so seccretly alcoholic.

T: This is really impressive and unique. It straddles right between a big quad and a bourbon barrel barleywine but remains unique but imparting that characteristic crackly rye finish. It dries the gumline at first but imparts deep pitted fruits and deep peppery notes that would keep even the flattest, most uninspiring midwest states entertained. I think California would never make something like this, because the moment someone was close they would fall in love with a hipster chick or an earthquake would happen or a celebrity would walk by or they would get hit on the head with a book of cliches. The taste has a faint floral note but it is impressive in how distinct it is but shares the penumbra of tons of different styles. You could even tell someone this was an old ale with the waft of booziness and WOULDN’T THEY LOOK LIKE SHIT WHEN YOU REVEALED IT WAS A RYE BEER.

Whenever I trade for something, it is a gamble, the verdict is MOAR.

M: The mouthfeel is crisp and light like spraying caramel binaca into your mouth. If you were born in the 90’s you probably dont know what Binaca, but trust me, it was so cash. It washes clean and imparts some drying effects with mild oakiness but I enjoy the complexity through and through. The booziness could be ratcheted back a bit, but then it is rye beer in a rye whiskey barrel so what was I expecting? Not some velvet smoothe experience, it tastes like a kiss from a University of Kentucky undergrad.

D: This is very boozy, hot, oaky, and reeks of acetone. It is also delicious. This ambivalence creates this push pull mechanism where you dont want to stop drinking but your palate and liver whisper silent pleas to stop the abuse. You can get a new liver, but trading for bottles of Rye on Rye is almost harder, I have PPO insurance SO I MIGHT AS WELL. Basically, its a bit prickly but worth the ride, like the end of Splash Mountain, except instead of singing bears, it is more like police sirens. Cutty.

It took me an entire bottle to decide how I feel about this and I can decidedly say: feelings. Rye feelings.

Narrative: Secale was always the snubbed cereal sister. She looked longingly through the window of the local department store and stared at the simple enzymes and pleasing chains of glucose and always looked at herself and thought “why me?” Every eligible substrate within the tri-ribosome county knew that she was prude and nearly impossible to postulate the “Lock and Key” hypothesis with, if we are speaking crudely. Rye held her head up high and Ms. Secale powered on. Perhaps it was a penchant for racism, as Secale was primarily found in Turkey, and her people stretched along the fertile crescent and the “pure” crops of corns and rice simply edged her out of all competition. Secale sobbed angrily into her long-leafed stalks and cursed her base heritage. Who would ever love a coarse grain like her? A gentle southern gentleman in an alabaster suit took her in his palm and caressed her intentions into a fanciful Pinnochio universe not unlike J. Worthington Foulfellow. Before she knew it, Secale was impressed to a life of hard alcoholism and then enslaved to a barrel. After years of hard fermentation she emerged a hateful shell of feminine herbal grace, her only desire, to burn and scorn the XY chromosomal order. Such is the hateful story of the Rye upon Rye, as true today as when it was written.