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@7venthSunBeer Mixtape Collection UNDER PRESSURE, Tiny Bottle Run Revenge from Floridians

Remember back in 2011, those simpler times when Florida breweries kept knocking out sub-50 bottle releases making those Sole Comp runs look like Inbev production levels.  7venth Sun comes from that era of “ITS WIDE AWAKE AND I AM GETTING RAPED ON THE TRADE BOARDS” and 28 bottle releases of Funky Buddha Raspberry Berliners.  These were things that actually happened back then.

Remember back in 2012 when these guys released a cherry coconut berliner with fucking 25 bottle run? https://dontdrinkbeer.com/2012/08/31/put-the-cherry-in-the-coconut/

Because I do.  Anyway, let’s see how the intervening years has treated this Dundam giant.

If you thought your bottle game was legit, stop and ask "does my tick have a hand sewn sweater?" If not, up your bottle accouterments fashion game.

If you thought your bottle game was legit, stop and ask “does my tick have a hand sewn sweater?” If not, up your bottle accouterments fashion game.

Who knows the abv on this shit? Who knows anything about this except that it is a kumquat saison? Those 7S Guys are so mysterious, straight up Vincent Valentines of the berliner world.

KUMQUAT IN A SAISON? Florida swag levels about to be wetter than the Everglades.

KUMQUAT IN A SAISON? Florida swag levels about to be wetter than the Everglades.

A:  This is a gritty radiant mess and I wouldn’t have it any other way.  It’s like seeing deep crosshatching on illustrations or single grooves in woodworking that let you know this shit is str8 grassroots.  It is turbid with excessive carb that spills out onto the collar of the nicely appointed sweater.  I am serious, the bottle came like that.  The fuq, I know.

S:  This is pure farmhouse through and through, reminds me of Logsdon seizoen bretta with that greek yogurt and lightly sharp cheesy note like cave aged cheeses.  The citrus is not overwhelming and comes across less like juice and more of a wafty rind like something tropical garnishing a cruise ship drink.  The whole thing feels real good, complex in layers but a simple unified approach: fruit smoothie.

T:  This is less complex than the nose let on, but the trade off is that it is exceedingly crushable.  The fruit bursts off of the page in embossed italicize flavor font.  You get kumquat in a more manageable manner than say that acid rain that is Sour in the Rye Kumquat.  It is saison first and fruit second, everyone knows their role and precisely what it is that the rock is cooking.  I think the score for this beer either demanded too much or failed to appreciate the simplicity and elegance of the stripped down approach.  Of course, since we have a series of instarones who are saison experts all of a sudden, anything less sour than Beatification is off style to these 2k13 tickers.

I rekd thes saisons fest.

I rekd thes saisons fest.

M: This is creamy with an expansive carb that almost becomes irritating because you cant grip them fruits with all that billowing creamy frothiness covering your slippery tan body, wait wut. It could be a touch drier and a bit more acidic but ho hum, it’s like complaining about not having a LAY DOWN SEAT in your flight to Dubai.  Things are going pretty well either way.

D: this is crushable and I drilled this while playing Tales of Xilia, grinding away with some needless fetchquests.  If you want something complex to ruminate over, I would kindly direct you to Oxbow, Stillwater, or any of the similar purveyors of those saisons with depth.  This opts for sheer simple enjoyment and a flavor profile that crackles with personality and life.  Plus people will probably give these away for a song since the whole fucking world is in BTAC and adjunct stout mode right now.  Seeking out a saison in frozen conditions is like buying a car on a rainy day.

King ticker, popping fruited saisons up in the club, all the ratchets wanna get in them Anchor Bluezzz

King ticker, popping fruited saisons up in the club, all the ratchets wanna get in them Anchor Bluezzz

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7venth Sun Saison Extreme, TAKING YOUR FARMHOUSE TO THE XXXXTREME!!! DO THE BELGIAN DEW!

Happy 12.12.12, make a wish if you happen to be a 13 year old girl, or someone who is creaming his jeans for some Stone release. For those of you who are knee deep in trade bullet casings, ducking in the trenches and lobbing Cable Car grenades, you know about 7venth Sun. You know about their 30 bottle runs, you know they have those banging Berliners that Funky Buddha and Wakefield had been pumping in the streets; but what about their Saisons? We already looked at Swamphead to see what the business is, but what about an even smaller brewery that is burning up the underground like Mike Jones? Let’s see if Florida can slang hot beats in today’s review:

Get your Ecto Cooler and Gogurt, this is gonna get exxxxtreme

Get your Ecto Cooler and Gogurt, this is gonna get exxxxtreme

7venth (Seventh) Sun Brewery
Florida, United States
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 8.50% ABV

A: First off, I had this in both the growler and in one of the (~30?) bottles, but I sent one of those bottles to a solid homie, so this is ONLY a growler review, ya dig? Well, I cannot say that this is extreme in the saison world, it actually seems refined and gentle like a John Updike novel. Run Farmhouse Run. The carbonation was still pretty generous considering the cross-contiental journey. The color was a light copper bordering on dark gold with nice lacing that streaked the glass like so many BIFs that I have seen.

This beer is refined and yet savage at the same time.

This beer is refined and yet savage at the same time.

S: The nose was extremely spicey and had a light touch of fusel elements, YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE DAMN FUSELERS. There’s some white pepper, clove, and a touch of that sweetness you smell in Djarum smokes. There is a bit of musk but it really made me wish that I had the Brett version of this, BRETGERS CANT BE CHOOSERS.

T: This is a fairly standard execution in that it presents a nice wheat grist to it, a bit of lavender in a way, the clove and honey aspects are preserved, and this deep floral aspect like I just made love in a pastoral thicket to a woman or a confused young man. However you like it. It is tough to really pick this apart because this is essentially the Nissan Altima of saisons in that it presents all of the things that are required, doesn’t go apeshit on ABV or extremely lactic, no barrels were involved, no one has a black eye or torn Juicy Couture sweat pants. All is well.

Ehhh...noooo....Mr. Saison no es home...

Ehhh…noooo….Mr. Saison no es home…

M: This is slightly dry but there are enough residual sugars to sustain the day. The floral aspect lingers on but not in a hoppy manner, just a sort of hibiscus dipper in agave nectar sort of execution. Reviewing this beer is tough because it is like when someone goes “Was Wicker Park good?” and you be like “ehhh, it wasn’t bad, but I don’t see it landing on AFI’s top saisons list” and the metaphor gets all diced up.

D: This is exceptionally drinkable and masks the ABV well, despite the slight tinge of heat on the nose. There is a variety of the old saison favorites, with a subtle twist, like the difference between No Strings Attached and that other movie that was exactly the same, released the same year. It is not like Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Observe and Report where one is clearly shittier, this is a solid saison that would warm your heart if only 1) you could find it and 2) you weren’t such a jaded beer ticking asshole.

Theft never gets anyone anywhere.

Theft never gets anyone anywhere.

Narrative: Adelbrecht Herjj was having a hard time adjusting to his contemporaries in Jacksonville, Florida. For starters, he was a pasty white obese Belgian man who looked not unlike Tintoretto. For seconds, he was not a Jaguars fan, nor did he even understand the basic tenants of the violent American past time. Santaesque or not, he moved to Florida clutching the American Dream, knowing that Florida was one state where liberty reigned and Deomcracy was truly pure. Adelbrecht wished to move to the Sunshine state and start his very own farmhouse, complete with apiary and meadery. Things started off rough when the corrupt Jacksonville government fined him for unlicensed zoning, water usage, and reindeer breeding. The last item was largely overlooked, but the problems still remained. Adel set out his koelship tanks and exhaled in dismay, “THINK ADELBRECHT, what do the Americans like…” he looked askance and saw a CornNuts package with a menacing character on the label, questioning his extremeness. “EXTREMENESS! That is IT!” The sleepy Belgian brewery overnight became an X-Games sensation when he let BMX Legend Dave Mirra carve hardcore in his Brite Tanks. His saisons were also XXXTREME when he decided to serve them IN A ROLLERBLADE. In summer months, partons were free to climb the grain silos and base jump off the roof into spent grain. Things became distinctly EXTREME and Belgian at the same. Damn. Time.