Man everyone is trying to get in the farmhouse game these days. The Belgian wit and hef purveyors of the late 2000s are now tossing weak ass Westmalle strain in tanks and acting like they served a nickel.

Mass producer Victory isn’t exactly who you think of when you imagine artisanal Saisons. It’s usually the hit you see on a restaurant menu and sigh before resigning yourself to a prima pils.

Enter their new offering. A sessionable saison. Right out the gates this just looks lackluster, pasteurized, a lazy pilsner aspect with admittedly beautiful carb. The problems begin from there on in.

If you are really into landscaping, eating Christmas wreaths, or botanical adventures with juniper bushes: you will love this uninspired beer. The yeast presents an off putting and substantial degree of esters and clove, overripe banana. It’s like De Ranke decided to start taxing girls without the hat.

The taste is even worse, how did this happen?

Seasonal release beer brewed w/ German & American whole-flowers, 2-row German malts, Rye, Oats & Wheat. Spiced w/ peppercorn & fresh lemon zest. Belgian saison yeasts.

Well that’s a long way of saying “we are going to brew a beer with an insubstantial malt bill then overload you with disgusting vegetal adjuncts.” Drop a glade plug in into Avril and burn some pine cones and you have this grassy aserose nightmare.

Amongst the worst Saisons I have ever tried, not fit for a South African jail.

MFW this is someone’s first taste of “Saisons”

Bored in line? Live in Chicago? Can’t wait to not drink that Nuthululu you spent hours of your life acquiring?

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Have fun and try to get blackout!

Holy saison hydroponics, them texas boys are slanging more brick of raw uncut. Here is there press description before I give you the candlelight rub down in them hay bales:

We are excited to introduce Jester King Estival Dichotomous — our summer saison brewed with chamomile and spelt and refermented with strawberries. Estival Dichotomous is our second seasonal saison following Hibernal Dichotomous, which we released in April of 2014. As we mentioned at the time of the Hibernal Dichotomous release, our brewing is largely driven by the seasons. We make farmhouse ales when the weather is hot and temperatures are conducive to fermentation in stainless steel, and we make spontaneously fermented beers and barrel fermented beers when temperatures are cold and conducive to overnight inoculation of wort and slow maturation in oak. We also use the ingredients that are available to us at various times during the year. For instance, in the winter we make beer with citrus fruit, in the spring we use peaches, in the summer we use apricots, blueberries and figs, and in the fall we use grapes, horehound, lemon bee balm, and squash. Estival Dichotomous is an analog for the summer season. It’s a beer that’s evocative of the summer weather and its bounty, particularly the smells of hay resting in the fields late in the season. ”

Tldr, same old well water and house saison yeast but this time with chamomile and strawberries.

So DDB is this some berry bomb? Is this the veritas 008 of the farmhouse world? How do I get that girl in trig to notice me? THE ANSWERS LIE WITHIN!

This is the same level of quality farmhouse akin to those logsdon bangers and the carb is a punch line in excessive foaminess.

The look is the same old Tampico juice you have come to love, apricots, a bitter herbal early grey and green tea, light mint and saffron, and a slight strawberry fruit by the foot closer. Pleasant albeit nonstandard.

Ok if you ever had veritas 008 fresh and remember when everyone was bitching about the tea, well, here is a similar scenario but it is tempered by a nice juiciness from the berries on the back end. This is easily the more bitter saison they have made since the slept on El Cedro, and I personally liked it as a result.

Insecure traders be like.

The mouthfeel is dry as a bone not from oak or hops but fucking residual tea. If you have ever been on a date with a vegan girl named Phaedra and drank way too much Darjeeling you will know the dry rot that this herbal dehydration evokes. But again, there’s not a lot out there like this and the soft berries are there on the back end like a Yankee candle.

Pretty legit and given them low hanging ass fruits, generous Texas traders might just extra this to you. They have yet to be corrupted. Or maybe it’s their proximity to the absurdly generous Coloradoans.

Oh and that girl in trig will notice you once you stop reading beta tier gazettes like this beer blog.

We all learned something today.

It’s ok if you get a box and it don’t make no gosh darn sense. Them feels when a trader knows you are addicted to that farmhouse life and kicks this and that your way, always fulfilling. Barrel aged black ale? Sure. All day long.

Oh also George t stagg. Perpetually relevant.

Boy we sure been having a lotta yukyuks recently on DDB, but it’s time to review some adjunct stouts and get super srs. We already addressed kbbs last week, that’s in the past, it’s time to review another ba coffee stout with a 400 bottle count EXCEPT THIS TIME FROM CALIFORNIA.

Hangar 24 brewing
Redlands, ca
Coffee stout 14.8% abv

Pugachev mocha was a 1 per h24 reserve membership with no right to purchase more. Already nips are aching at those stats and the masses are paying myfreecamgirls just to open one on camera. This is my fantasy okay.

A: The look is almost identical to Royale with a touch more carb, it looks nimble and coats with clear legs and thick khaki foam like dry sex at a Dockers warehouse.

S: The smell is phenomenal and leans toward a sight glass/handsome acidity, intensely roasty with almond and vanilla undertones. The bourbon barrel is different than Royale and is a hybrid between pugachev 25 year and BCBCS in the nose. The barrel is oaky but works in parity with that coffee toastiness.

It began as a single barrel of our Pugachev’s Cobra, specially aged in a 25 year bourbon barrel for 14 months. Into this barrel went single-origin cacao nibs from Parliament Chocolate, and locally roasted coffee beans from Augie’s Coffee. That’s the press statement and you can peel back the layers like a grands biscuit.

T: the taste is a silky sweet mochachino with deep espresso roast with a mid palate that has a fantastic lactose aspect to bolster the deep roast with a touch of sticky sweetness. This doesn’t have the maple syrupy aspects present in kbbs but some will find the “more focused” approach refreshing because it allows the substantial barrel profile to shine. It is less sweet than most coffee stouts and the 80 ibus coupled with the deep toasted praline is a great combo. Ultimately it’s the old “do I get the 911 drop or the hard top? In what fashion do I wish to stunt and maximize my stunt efficiency?”

M: this is the section that let’s kbbs edge ahead, since everyone just wants to make that comparison anyway. The mouthfeel, like all of the hangar 24 offerings is precise and hits their numbers with a fantastic clean profile. Some people, particularly dipshits who savor 1oz pours will often fault a beer for SOMEHOW not having a shitload of unfermented materials artificially boosting the mouthfeel. This isn’t like central waters or czar jack thin, we aren’t in the Eurozone, but it also isn’t that flabby Huna realm either. It appears to be a stylistic choice and if they mashed a bit higher sure, it could have been a bit stickier. I am essentially scrubbing the lint off the hotel comforter at this point, because the real fun lies elsewhere

O: overall this is a fantastic beer and I can’t dismiss it as having a clear analog. The barrel profile is entirely distinct and is hand down the noteworthy aspect of this beer. The coffee is a welcome addition to a base puga that is already so clean and roasty. For those who try this, I am confident it will fall into that cannon with BA Vietnamese speedway, beyond good and evil, cbs, etc that are the paradigms of compelling coffee stouts.

While this may be a complete trust fund actress to land, the struggle is worth the payoffs.

Prepare to get infinity fisted by Barrel Reserve members

LOL jk CA traders are dumb as fuck and will probably trade this for a RESOLUTE VARIENT, whatever the fuck those are.

By this point you probably have lost track of all these Ardmore releases, each one less empty than the last. Unless you have an encyclopedic knowledge of farmhouses, you will probably mix up a few of these consistently awesome bottles. Well line up for the big spoiler: this one is also amazing and brings the heat with peaches this time.

So first object of contention is the classification of this beer as a “saison” when it is decidedly more wild ale, but that tired discussion need not be further discussed lest my hands become tired in the transmission. Regardless, it is unsurprisingly stellar much in the way that every prior release has been consistently puckering, complex, and delicious.

The look is that classic Ardmore sunny delight water with generous carb billowing to fill the expanse of the wanting glass. The webbing clings and drapes sticky garlands of residual foam.

The nose is muskier than the other entries and presents a pleasant peach profile akin to fruit leather and haribo peach rings. There’s a touch of attic/sawmill funk that lovingly embraced the refined ph profile. It never wafts in an acrimonious way and you could huff this like carpenters glue under an overpass.

The taste is the middle of the road for the emptiness series, presenting stone fruit, farmers market floral blossom, a faint jolly rancher sweetness and a dryness that actually boosts drinkability in a massive way. It isn’t as sour as the persimmon but is more aggressive than the grape, the Tiptup of this Diddy Kong sour race. Balanced and the least remarkable in the classic sense that in it’s moderation it shines by hitting that Aristotelian G spot, that golden mean all day long.

While not as tart or over the top as Parageusia II, I feel this one is well worth your time and you won’t need alkaline tablets afterwards for your gamgam tummy.

Seek this one out, or wait a few weeks for a new fruited version to drop. You gotta use that $2000 gift card at the brew pub somehow. Why are you reading this, you should be down at he brewpub decorating their tired hands tree for them.

Drink more Saisons you lazy asshole.

WHEN IS THIS COLLABO GOING DOWN? That’d be the PA voltron.

Voodoo is also invited to my fan fiction erotica collabo brewfest.