Ale Smith 2008 Barrel Aged Decadence, ONE OF 433 BOTTLES – .RAR status Achieved

I was pretty Gucci Mane wasted when I merked this bottle, so no pics, but it looked like a barleywine, what do you want from me? You take the bus.

2008 Barrel Aged Decadence
AleSmith Brewing Company
California, United States
English Barleywine | 11.00% ABV

A: nice murkiness to it with some deep brown hues, the mocha foam subsides quickly and isn’t even gracious in its retreat. No lacing or after thoughts are provided. It’s like beating off to your old year books, it is over too quickly and you’re left with a lingering sadness.

Don’t tell me what the fuck to do, Martha.

S: No shocker here, you get the oaky deep wood notes, similar to Hellshire, but with more of a southern boozy bourbon twang to it. There’s some light fruit juice and nice tannins to the nose. There’s a mild tartness to it that kinda reminds me of pear, there’s a nice waft of .rar as you winzip it. My jimmies are well archived.

T: At the outset, huge tart front dominates strangely, but welcomely. It has lots of grape and bright fruits in the middle that is just confusing with all the booziness going on. The juiciness just remains steadfast with no dark fruits or caramel. I keep waiting for the barley wine aspects to kick and it just remains crisp with almost merlot notes. The middle finger extended graciously.

Look how tart this barleywine is, just look at it.

M: This has a nice crispness to it and continues to be iconoclastic in all barley wine form. It imparts this chardonnay dryness with lingering plums and stands back to watch for your reverence. It is almost just confusing all in all. I don’t know how to treat this wayward soul. It seems like an incredibly skilled magician that is also, homeless. You don’t trust it fully but you know that it has an impeccable degree of control. You wallet is gone but you love the prune taste imparted.

D: This is surprisingly drinkable, if not for the strange chimera that it presents. It straddles a ton of separate styles and executes them all well, somehow. It’s like an anti-version of Will Smith. The crispnes and light fruits make it awesome for hot weather with a nice abv booziness that blows my mind. I don’t understand it, but I like it. I GUESS.

This is my favorite beer brewed by Martin Luther King

Narrative: Professor Wallerstein was a physics professor. Well let me back this up, he is a physics professor, but he is also an avid cooper. What’s that you say, “Coopers are an antiquated trade that died in the post Victorian era?” Well then professor Wallerstein has a thing or two to say to you, captain nay sayer. “You see my dear students, the porous nature of the wood coupled with the imbibing properties make barrels the ideal surface for storing and enhacing EVERYTHING.” The student body watched in astonishment as Professor Wallerstein produced a soggy, dank, salami sandwich, clearly reeking of bourbon. “NOW YOU SEE STUDENTS;” he began “This sandwich used to be plain old delicious, now once you infused it completely with wood a bou-” Three officials burst into the corridor with menacing glances. “Put the Sammie down Professor Wallerstein” he crumpled indignantly upon the linoleum and cast his soggy bourbonwich to the awaiting masses.


Alesmith 100% Barrel Aged Speedway Stout, Modding out my Integra So Hard Right now.

Ok, if you are in a store and for some reason they have the 750 bottle release on the right, just remember it is worth 15 times as much as the one on the left.

Alesmith, Speedway Stout 100% Barrel Aged, 2009, 12% abv, some more top 100 beer bullshit, just another day in the life of a god damn middle manager.

A: This has a slick BP disaster look to it, without all the deceased marine life. It isn’t pitch black but imparts some nice deep mahogany notes to the edges, like a hardened cop with a heart of gold you somehow impart a sense of trust in this stout that despite his over character flaw evidenced 14 minutes in, he will make it all right after 90 minutes in your life. Also, nice lacing, tiny bubbles, coffee stickiness, and other things people don’t read.

S: This is coffee acidity, to a huge degree. Also entering the fray is a serious boozy profile that apparently hasn’t had the shithead weathered out of it after 2 years in an oak barrel. It isn’t as recalcitrant as the new Dark Lords, but it still is rambunctious enough to be bothersome. However, some nice bourbon and oak notes finalize the experience and you give it an approving nod into your club, aka YOUR MOUTH, where all the action takes place infra.

Coffee so hard, all up in my nosepiece.

T: Fast forward 3 seconds from the smell to the tasting, first one to show up to your sick rager is coffee, oh wait but he brought, acidity, and then, his other boy coffee, and then toffee. You don’t judge but things seem a little unbalanced in here, oh wait then his crazy friend chocolate shows up doing magic tricks and making observational comedy references. Everyone is put at east with a nice coffee walnut finish: your BA speedway house party is officially underway.

M: This coasts like a bucket of Sherwin Williams. I don’t mean in the way when you hire day laborers either. It coats like if people who cared painted your mouth with coffee and bourbon. We all know how much that costs IN REAL LIFE so this is a welcome reprieve.

I had to trade 7 bottles to land this one stupid ass bottle. Then I shared it with 7 people. So the butthurt is flowing so hard.

D: As much as I want to hometown and keep the drive strong for this amazing beer, this is certainly its weakest point. I can’t in good faith say that I would crack 2009 BA stouts all day while at Havasu doing sick broesque things. Then again, is that the target market? Notwithstanding, this tires a bit after a solid 12oz just due to the complexity and rampaging coffee and toffee double team on your bitter and sweet zones. Enough is enough the tongue declares insouciantly.

Narrative: Kicked out of the racing academy. Well, at least that is what he told his parents that his tuition checks were going to. The truth is that Chase Worthington was never attending a racing school in Temecula. He accepted “tuition” checks from his parents every 5 months and even in the summer session for modding his sick 2001 Mercury Cougar for drag racing or “Straight up Dragging it” as he abrasively referred to it, much to the chagrin of his friends, when present. His friends told him that running the mean streets of San Diego was not to be trifled with, that is, unless one were content to life his life “a quarter mile at a time.” This seemed to be a deafeningly infinitesimal stretch for a racer like himself. Cold air intake, cat back exhaust, chipped, sick body kit; all of the accoutrements were present however he forgot a single thing: his car had only 189 horse power and people grew tired of its inky discharge, regardless of the speeds that it allegedly traveled. This speedway pun was a speedway pun for the racing pun speedway pun, and in the end, they all learned speedway pun, racing.