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It was an honor to be asked to write for the Craft Beer and Brewing magazine “best of” issue again this year. Check it out if u aren’t 2cool4printmedia 

[it is available online as well.]

What a time to be alive.

For a brewery that can sometimes lean into the eccentric or Scratchesque innovation, @tiredhandsbrewing has had a silent fermenter lock bubbling with classic, clean offerings. Their helles was banging and an impressive Schwartz/Hidden Valley Rauch seems directly in line. It’s without pageantry or frills, no exotic produce to compel the smoky black and mild malt, just an efficient watery swallow that furthers this recent smattering of high flavor low calorie drillers I have accidentally been reviewing in tandem. There’s a hint of anise and good and plenty sweetness that dudes from the Netherlands would love to rub salt all over and call it a treat, but gripping Pirellis and toasted clutch on the nose. The fuchsia ATF fluid remains unroasted, my headgasket unblown. In arguably one of the least compelling or hype driven styles possible, These Ardmore boys are shining almost defiantly to lend a sage credibility to perhaps more Flour and Bean driven exploits. BUT WAIT TIL WE GET HAZY RAUCHBIERS THEN OH MAN U JUST WAIT SO MANY FOLDING CHAIRS

BIL is a group full of habitual line steppers, this is barleywine albeit highly circumspect. It’s like if someone tasted that ultra thin, almost too dialed in body attendant to Central Waters and decided to remove the bbw aspects. It is distinctly hoppy and has that lightly tobacco swallow that doesn’t come anywhere close to hoppy ambers or a malty mid 2000s “DIPA” but it’s weird. It’s like when Lean Cuisine tries to approximate a 300 calorie osso bucco, or when they release creme brûlée flavored isoprotein. You know what it’s up to but, something is inherently lacking. It’s not the beer’s fault and it’s kinda charming in a Bumble date/noncommittal way. You don’t gotta make a whole night out of it like a clingy Melange 3. Similar to the Tioga/Wren making Zumba-tier revisions of high fructose drops, this is a quirky Michelob Ultra weaning for someone who hasn’t quite given up on the maltlife.

@tiogasequoia and @wrenhousebrewing teamed up and made zero calorie Mexican Cake. I don’t mean this is dripping in stevia tones, I mean that it’s actually approachable and something you can open without making an entire evening of it or risk losing custody of your kids over. It’s chili casual, for the choco-curious. The body is that weird uncanny valley between Porter and the thinnest imperial stout, which works well for the abv and flavor profile. The heat is mild and integrates nicely with the other additions but molé Nestle Quik would be the best description, but made with evaporated milk like a Mormon household because you got six siblings and Tanner don’t you drink that orange juice without adding water to it, hear me? Overall I would love to see these South Beach diet versions of existing excessive archetypes. It is a touch conflicting to retro engineer those flabby mexibomb stouts into cleaner more approachable types, but I like it. Consider this the training wheels for your dipshit coworker who loves to read beer labels as he drinks it and declare what he is tasting. He will eventually be steeped in MBC and raffle shit, but this is his first apple hit of sativa before getting into wax chocolate dabs and chili shatterpieces

Damn, enjoying this canned life even more than last year’s bottling. Less gourd, more oak and greasy waffle cone, this lightly sweet caramel and this prailine swallow makes this align closer with an old ale than a wheat wine as a composite. Scary drinkable, look for Chrysler Pacificas driven straight into pools, AZ concealed carry permits revoked.

2009 was that year when all these nit picking no pussy gettin hater bloggers complained about the two batches of Blab and b1 was allegedly the “good” batch. This is b1 and while compelling, everyone who exists in a post-blab orbit knows that this beer is for trading away and not opening when St Lam is better anyway. 

Irregardlessly this is still holding up nicely and edging into old age gracefully.  Dry with steadily increasing acidity and a lip smacking almost brackish finish. Kinda wish I could have had 1oz of this out of a filthy taster glass in an Illinois back yard for a more authentic Blabaer experience.

The people of San Francisco need a decent barleywine plug. Don’t let those svelte emaciated frames fool you, barleybreasts will fit in a second hand Rag and Bone Jean jacket, techie dipshits will do anything if Esquire magazine tells them it is an ultra premium luxury authentic experience.

I told Bob that this IPA did not need the Yellow 5 but then I realized that lowering the sperm count of haze drinkers wouldn’t be such a bad thing. The beer itself goes in on every track. There isn’t the crackly theraflu Orange that some haze has, and this marries the slight pine and grapefruit rind with a body that is a touch less creamy than the Trillium sect, which in turn increases drinkability at the expense of depth. It makes it absolutely disappear especially in the flat brimmed dodger hat/slammed integra/black plugs segment indigenous to the east side. I welcome our new cloud overlords.