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Highland Park Brewing made an Adjunct Stout for Woodshop 10th Anny and didn’t even screw it up. HOW?

DDB is full of inconsistencies. Sometimes breweries get lit up for using ingredients as a crutch, others get praise for the same shit.  Ideological conflicts rub like strike slip tectonic plates creating that magma friction rumbling that is too underlying to ignore.  The ultimate benchmark of the aesthetic valuations primarily lies in this amorphous conception of “net quality.”  This may be some cloud of invincibility to retreat within when the sky is blackened by projectiles alleging “HOMERISM” or “CONSUMER BIAS” or “GEOGRAPHICAL FAVORITISM” but there are instances where, regardless of the placement of the brite tank, some people are simply more skilled at metabolizing sugarwater into ethanol.

These are the trappings of deconstructive commentary, the thin veneer of objectivity predicated at all times upon an aggregate of subjective impressions. No amount of ground effects or aluminum triple tier wings converts a Dodge Neon Expresso into that which it is not.

That being said: Highland Park Brewing made a fucking awesome stout riddled to shit with adjunct ingredients. Allow me to elaborate.

the entry wound is sick but the exit wound is that of cyclopean nightmares

the entry wound is sick but the exit wound is that of cyclopean nightmares

So let’s lay some foundation for this shit before we bust out the triple beam and start bagging up the raw:

“Brewed for The 10th Annual Woodshop Tasting(s) in San Diego and Los Angeles, 10/3-10/4/15. A double oatmeal stout with Trystero Ethiopian Dry Process Yirga Cheffe Buufata Konga coffee, lactose, cinnamon, vanilla beans, and cedar.”

They sold these at the Woodshop blind rating/bottleshare.  Most people were too rekt to even buy these at the event or completely forgot because they left a toddler in their idling Pathfinder.

The carb is minimal, but you probably weren’t legitimately expecting some effervescent bubbler of mocha foam. If you remember my lengthy write up of the strengths and weaknesses of HPB you will recall this is a brewery that makes incredible saisons but bigger beers that are underwhelming because they are too fucking attenuated and thin.

But it's not tho

But it’s not tho

So on paper we have 1) non-barrel aged 2) adjunct stout 3) made by a brewery who exhibited difficulties making a hefty beer 4) cedar.  I was like “god fucking damnit” and almost bought zero. Thank god I did because this was a 12:1 runaway that cashed out hard.

The problems with other Highland Park Beers are decimated by the same thing that fucking RUINS stouts from Florida and the midwest: lactose.  You see, other breweries don’t have a program focused on dialing in dry/clean beers.  Highland park has TOO MUCH in this regard.  As a result the lactose fills in the hole of the mouthfeel like a decadent sex doll. The sweetness from the lactose is tempered by PHENOMENAL coffee, a dry roasty floral execution like Stumptown rounders.  The cinnamon, like a best friend “there for moral support while she picks up her things from your apartment” thankfully shuts the fuck up. It is a little crackle of spice that feels like rye oak and not some Cinnabon mall centerpiece.

No the DDB bullet openers aren't for sale, I'll do a post about that later.

No the DDB bullet openers aren’t for sale through DDB, I’ll do a post about that later.

The problem of lack of barrel aging loomed like them ships in ID4: WHAT WILL ADD THE DEPTH TO AMAZING MOUTHFEEL AND COFFEE BLASTS?  Shockingly, cedar helps to dry out the sweetness from the lactose and serves as a foundation in conjunction with the coffee to make a faux american oak taste.  This might be the singular example of these ingredients not completely fucking ruining a beer.  The vanilla rounds out the butterscotch/coldstone creamery GOTTA HAVE IT barrel experience.  It feels deceptively barrel aged, and I am content to drink the Kool-aid and put up with all of the bullshit because the net result is a fucking PHENOMENAL beer.

I will do some filthy things to tolerate awesome stouts.

So in sum, this is the Mad Max Fury Road of the beer world: you expect it to be some one dimensional stupid shit that shouldn’t hold your attention and it comes out of nowhere and rocks your tits off, inexplicably and amazingly.

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These Brewers Gonna Make Me Unleash the Dragon: Passionate Dragon. Happy Barrel Aged Beer Day.

First thing’s first, happy Barrel Aged Beer Day, bump this in your lonely cubicle:

So after the shockwaves of Fundamental Observation continue to reverberate. the sweatjoweled world continues to await the sophomore release from these young OC upstarts. You might remember when I went to the Bruery anniversary and called Passionate Dragon the best beer of the entire festival, even better than Fundamental Observation.  So I went into this already knowing what type of dragon fist lay in store. Does this hold up in bottled format? Is there logic attendant to the bottle? From zero to R. Kelly, how much passion are we talking about in International Passion Units (IPUs)?

ALL QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED.

So much embarrassment to take low fstop photos like this outside of the home.  Such shame.

So much embarrassment to take low fstop photos like this outside of the home. Such shame.

“Passion and dragon fruit saison aged in wine barrels. In collaboration with Arizone Wilderness Brewing, this saison is brewed with passion fruit, dragon fruit, Centennial kumquats, Rosemary, fresh bay leaves, and White Sonora Wheat. It’s a mouthful, we know, but this beer showcases our shared passion to push craft beer forward.”

Alright at the outset you may be thinking:
“DDB you give other breweries a raft full of shit for using adjuncts in a saison, suddenly your homer instincts kick in and these guys get a fukn pass?”

Well, allow me to temper those objections by stating: this beer is fucking amazing.  If you want to add pink peppercorns each lovingly rubbed on the urethral tip of a BJCP master, then go for it, so long as the beer is amazing. I read the description and was like “oh god damn it” but then knew the incredible pedigree of Arizona Wilderness and the calm set in.  Those comforting chest pets to relieve anxiety.

First and foremost, the bottled version of this wasn’t as trubby and jammy in its tannic turbidity as the draft version.  It turns out, the bottled version is way fucking better.  If you wanted a slurry fruit mess, call Pizza Boy. The brewers elected to blend and allow the final version to ferment longer, giving it more of a nuanced barrel characater, less smuckers, more tannins, more structure, and this inimitable lingering bay leaf menthol added to the fruit that lasts and lasts underscoring the oak saturation.  For this reason, you don’t get the cliche MAGENTA OMFG that newmoney kids lose their shit over, tasting with their eyes pell mell.

These labels are still admittedly busy and obnoxious. Raygun nostalgia with like 9 diagrams, 500 words of text: too fucking much going on.

These labels are still admittedly busy and obnoxious. Raygun nostalgia with like 9 diagrams, 500 words of text: too fucking much going on.

Another note is that this beer is a full 1%  abv over the draft version and much much drier as a result.  The alcohol is seamlessly integrated into the fruit and barrel presence in a scary way.  Usually this dryness is accompanied with some sausage fingered acetic aeration, intense tartness.  That is not the case here, this beer bangs like Rockford Fosgate subs in a bandpass box but never gets too intense or acidic.  It is without comparison of recent memory, a single foot planted hard in the saison realm without letting monoculture emphasis denature the experience.

The taste never jumps completely to rely upon fruits like a crutch, nor does it expect the spices to bail them outta county either.  As a result you have a hardened saison criminal, who is a bit fruity from the time in captivity but in that hard way that you just have to respect.  In terms of analogues, this is less a saison and more of a Biere de Garde.  The whole affair drinks like a fruited, less acidic, cleaner Biere de Norma. Yes, I realize the implications of stating that something with this many ingredients is better than a Hill Farmstead beer, I stand by it.  The shit is like 2 tabs of Demerol that starts out normal enough and suddenly your face is being attacked by the sidewalk.  You be gripping parking meters tripping not an insubstantial number of balls, tryna make it out of this fruited farmhouse alive.

The beer itself is inversely good to the quality of this shitty pic.

The beer itself is inversely good to the quality of this shitty pic.

If you went to the Stone Anniversary/Sourfest and had the immeasurably shittier “YOUNG DRAGON” rest assured, this is a completely different beer that stomps out that squad until they turn the lights on.  The nose is a phrenetic Hungry Hungry Hippos match wherein kumquat and tropical fruits compete with oak and lingering saison esters to gobble up your white BALs with their wanting maws.

The mouthfeel initially has a Welch’s Passionfruit juice that serves as an opening band to warm things up for the main event when the dry tannic skins spit hot bars over a kumquat instrumental. Bay leaf is in the back providing bitter structure with sick beatboxing.

This sold out immediately online and there was some degree of chaos from a unilaterally reschedule sale, switched to a Sunday morning.  I can foresee the degree of butthurt being noteworthy once the reviews for the bottled version start pouring in.  The sweet punishment of success, an ambrosial delight endemic to the beer industry.

All said, I enjoyed this more than Fundamental Observation and this beer brings something I seldom encounter in items with this much taking place concurrently: pirouettes of vinous balance. If this isn’t in the DDB top 10 of 2015 I would be surprised, you would be remiss to skip this one as I can’t identify a clear analogue in recent memory.

Electric currant: currant saison.  These guys continue to load shells into that bullpup ambidextrous cellar

Electric currant: currant saison. These guys continue to load shells into that bullpup ambidextrous cellar, stoked to see if these guys can sustain success beyond these first two homeruns.

We shall see.

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Let’s review some q3 Bruery beers. Argh, prairie rue, ride that goat, brueraide. Close that xHamster Tab

 
Alright let’s take it from the top, simple and without pageantry, since everyone has already made that Sophie choice whether or not to re-up their membership this year. Godspeed:

 
Bruer-aide: this is basically Hottenroth with a sea salt air intake, and a lemon zest ground effects kit. No noticeable gains to horsepower but it is exactly what it says: a 3% abv crusher that tastes like Lemon lime Gatorade. The type of shit you would see Degarde selling for $5 a 750ml with 12 different hopped versions.

2010 Ba coton: holy fuck this is a slice from the Tyler golden age of bruery lore. If you have had Ba 2 turtle doves recently you know how fuxking mindblowing these beers have become. It is liquid sugar daddies and raisinettes, caramel crew brûlée and brown sugar. It is a component blend of Adam from the wood and Kuhnhenn bb4d. If you see anyone offer this up for trade, holy shit jump on it.

  

New traders tryna get into hoarders be like-

Aaarrrggghh!!!!: this is a hoppy coconut Pilsner made with rice. If you were around to try the forgettable Run bmc (run MBC?) in 2011 then you’ll know this beer right away. There’s an oiliness to the mouthfeel, and that’s about it. A hoppy Pilsner that is approachable to novice drinkers and Hinge dates alike. 

  

Chaise them walez.

Prairie rue: bruery jumped forward in the farmhouse game with the ubiquitous new tonelleire and this is a dingy driven backwards by the force of consumer sighs. Full taut sail. It is by no means bad, but it is earthy and herbal, lacking distinction in any direction, a Michael bay film that hits the three act structure and turns a profit and logs some IMDb credits. There’s a notable orange zest and cantaloupe rind at the end but that’s about it. It is fine I guess.

Ride that goat: this is actually really fuxking tasty. If you don’t like the daunting abv and sweetness of melange 3, this is slimmer, faster, slicker and imparts that same massive bourbon and bitter oak character. Every year bruery makes a sleeper hit that no one orders (smooth criminal cough cough) and this is the one that will absolutely kill it with time. The description sounds wonky but trust me, it drills like Slim Jesus.  

So that’s it. I already gave you my lunch money what more do you want from me?

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Lambourghini Merci, St. Louis Tickers Be So Thirsty, Side Project in that 2 seat Lambo, fanboys tryna jerk them

Oh great another one of those “WINE AND CHEESE SHOP” instant whales. Just what we needed for this site, more inaccessible 50 bottle releases, because that’s surely what the average beer consumer is tryna read about.

The average beer consumer is still putting up double digit daily blog page views with some myopic post about recent mergers. OH FUCK NO WAY HOT BUTTON ISSUES.  You come to DDB for this type of shit:

toaster looks like its about to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015

toaster looks like its about to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015

So this is blend1 and, to be honest, it sounds preeeeeetty fucking similar to SIDE PROJECT PULLING NAILS BLEND THREE

“Blend #1 – 75% 2yr old Missouri Spontaneous Blond, 25% Saison du Ble Batch 2. Bottle conditioned for 5 months with our house Brett strain before release.” Merci1

vs

““Blend of: Oude du Ble that was aged in French Oak for 1 year & then aged on Apricots + 14-Month-Old Foedre Beer + 2-year-old Missouri Spontaneous Blonde.” PN3

ALRIGHT FINE, maybe they only SEEMED similar after drinking them.  Alright if Pulling Nails 3 was the ultra bright radiant acidic Duck Duck Goozey clone, then Merci is more akin to the grist and funky bitter execution of Cable Car 2008 or 2010.  Think 3F OGV vs. Doesjel (except with carb.)

The beer looks awesome, a slight hint of brassy copper belies the slightly oxy profile and musky undercarriage to this monistat adventure.  It is fitting that this was sold at a cheese shop, but some of the funky cheesiness was TOO excessive and some chunky floaters were present in the bottle:

PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS

PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS

Seriously, dafuq is going on here? Mad chunks in the lacing looking like beige crunchberries.

The nose is a nice blend of kumquat, mandarin oranges, clementines, cut brie, honeydew, cave aged cheddar, and a long musky waft like wet laundry. It really is a great funky balance between acidity and funky old components, like switching between Match.com and Tinder, to achieve balance in your unbalanced life.

Beat steady knockin, an I aint talkin ATIFICATION

Beat steady knockin, an I aint talkin ATIFICATION

The taste swings wildly and almost dislocates its rotator cuff trying to connect at a variety of targets.  You get slice navel oranges, wet bicycle seat, some leather and plywood, a bright lemon hip gyration from the Du Ble, but it is all tempered with this stale Thrift Store waft.  This is the funkiest Side Project offering this side of Oude Fermier and if you love that Brett C profile, whittling and twine, this is your perfect attic chugger.

Overall, this massive waley waley comes across as more novel but less delicious in sum than Pulling Nails b3 which I enjoyed more.  If you absolutely need something in this vein you can land some Belgian analogue, LOLYARITE who am I even addressing, or seek out some of the more bretty Lost Abbey offerings like Veritas 13 or Cable Car 2010.  Not a lot of fucking help there, I know.  Some of the Prairie strains do weird shit over time and if you held onto something like Puncheon for 6 months it would likely be comparable, or better yet, snag a bottle of Jester King’s earthier offerings like El Cedro and sit on it for half a year.

Do all them pushups to pump up your chest, I got a .50cal and a 750 that can light up yo chest

Do all them pushups to pump up your chest, I got a .50cal and a 750ml that can light up yo chest

You certainly don’t need to trade for this, but it is exceptional. The only American offering with this much gueuzey cheesiness and funk would be one of those equally whaley Funk Factory bottles like Dweller on the Threshold.  Or a bottle of Beatification with a couple years on it. So go get that then, FUCK, there’s a reason these beers aren’t falling off the shelves.  Go do your own due diligence or open a Sculpin and make the same tired ass post about “MY LOCALS RULE TRADING IS STUPID SEE THATS WHY I DONT TRADE SEE I CAN GET GOOD BEER HERE SEE THATS WHY THATS WHY TRADE TRADE NOT WORTH TO ME TO ME TO ME TRADE ISNT I MEAN ITS GOOD BUT NOT TRADE WHY WORTH VALUE LOCAL TO LOCAL TO ME” and just read it at a 160bpm pace.

Same tiring shit, all day, EDM high-handed condescension.