Lambourghini Merci, St. Louis Tickers Be So Thirsty, Side Project in that 2 seat Lambo, fanboys tryna jerk them

Oh great another one of those “WINE AND CHEESE SHOP” instant whales. Just what we needed for this site, more inaccessible 50 bottle releases, because that’s surely what the average beer consumer is tryna read about.

The average beer consumer is still putting up double digit daily blog page views with some myopic post about recent mergers. OH FUCK NO WAY HOT BUTTON ISSUES.  You come to DDB for this type of shit:

toaster looks like its about to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015

toaster looks like its about to drop the hottest mixtape of 2015

So this is blend1 and, to be honest, it sounds preeeeeetty fucking similar to SIDE PROJECT PULLING NAILS BLEND THREE

“Blend #1 – 75% 2yr old Missouri Spontaneous Blond, 25% Saison du Ble Batch 2. Bottle conditioned for 5 months with our house Brett strain before release.” Merci1

vs

““Blend of: Oude du Ble that was aged in French Oak for 1 year & then aged on Apricots + 14-Month-Old Foedre Beer + 2-year-old Missouri Spontaneous Blonde.” PN3

ALRIGHT FINE, maybe they only SEEMED similar after drinking them.  Alright if Pulling Nails 3 was the ultra bright radiant acidic Duck Duck Goozey clone, then Merci is more akin to the grist and funky bitter execution of Cable Car 2008 or 2010.  Think 3F OGV vs. Doesjel (except with carb.)

The beer looks awesome, a slight hint of brassy copper belies the slightly oxy profile and musky undercarriage to this monistat adventure.  It is fitting that this was sold at a cheese shop, but some of the funky cheesiness was TOO excessive and some chunky floaters were present in the bottle:

PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS

PROTEIN SUPPLEMENTS

Seriously, dafuq is going on here? Mad chunks in the lacing looking like beige crunchberries.

The nose is a nice blend of kumquat, mandarin oranges, clementines, cut brie, honeydew, cave aged cheddar, and a long musky waft like wet laundry. It really is a great funky balance between acidity and funky old components, like switching between Match.com and Tinder, to achieve balance in your unbalanced life.

Beat steady knockin, an I aint talkin ATIFICATION

Beat steady knockin, an I aint talkin ATIFICATION

The taste swings wildly and almost dislocates its rotator cuff trying to connect at a variety of targets.  You get slice navel oranges, wet bicycle seat, some leather and plywood, a bright lemon hip gyration from the Du Ble, but it is all tempered with this stale Thrift Store waft.  This is the funkiest Side Project offering this side of Oude Fermier and if you love that Brett C profile, whittling and twine, this is your perfect attic chugger.

Overall, this massive waley waley comes across as more novel but less delicious in sum than Pulling Nails b3 which I enjoyed more.  If you absolutely need something in this vein you can land some Belgian analogue, LOLYARITE who am I even addressing, or seek out some of the more bretty Lost Abbey offerings like Veritas 13 or Cable Car 2010.  Not a lot of fucking help there, I know.  Some of the Prairie strains do weird shit over time and if you held onto something like Puncheon for 6 months it would likely be comparable, or better yet, snag a bottle of Jester King’s earthier offerings like El Cedro and sit on it for half a year.

Do all them pushups to pump up your chest, I got a .50cal and a 750 that can light up yo chest

Do all them pushups to pump up your chest, I got a .50cal and a 750ml that can light up yo chest

You certainly don’t need to trade for this, but it is exceptional. The only American offering with this much gueuzey cheesiness and funk would be one of those equally whaley Funk Factory bottles like Dweller on the Threshold.  Or a bottle of Beatification with a couple years on it. So go get that then, FUCK, there’s a reason these beers aren’t falling off the shelves.  Go do your own due diligence or open a Sculpin and make the same tired ass post about “MY LOCALS RULE TRADING IS STUPID SEE THATS WHY I DONT TRADE SEE I CAN GET GOOD BEER HERE SEE THATS WHY THATS WHY TRADE TRADE NOT WORTH TO ME TO ME TO ME TRADE ISNT I MEAN ITS GOOD BUT NOT TRADE WHY WORTH VALUE LOCAL TO LOCAL TO ME” and just read it at a 160bpm pace.

Same tiring shit, all day, EDM high-handed condescension.

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