Alright maybe I fucked this one up, but my bottle looks totally different than all of the other bottles that I have seen of this. Then again this is a pretty obscure gem, but let’s just say mine looked about as much like a Kolsch as Morgan Freeman looks Icelandic. Anyway, here’s a review, if you want a refund, tweet me, I will instruct you how the cow eats the cabbage.
Some times you feel like a Kolsch, sometimes you feel like a nut.
DL Geary Brewing Co.
Maine, United States
Kölsch | 6.00% ABV
A: An off-copper color with huge transparency. There is mild lacing and tiny middle carbonation. The whole thing comes off like a bottle of honey but much more translucent and less opaque. Like I said, it could be the same beer that everyone has reviewed, hell if I know, I have love handles and stretch marks and I am only an expert at eating 4+ items in a single trip at Taco Bell.
The perfect beer to give to recent high school graduates, you can be the cool austere older guy who introduces them to beers hardly anyone has heard of. Chicks like that, right?
S: There is a huge caramel malt to it with some beet sugar notes and a cinnamon/nutmeg sort of finish. Then water, out of nowhere things get all Kevin Kostner waterwold up in my olfactory. Maybe that’s what summer is all about? Kevin Kostner? Postmen?
T: The taste is not exceptional, but it isn’t exactly bad either. For a summer ale, it must be light with a clean finish right? Well that is what we have been lead to believe and this beer his the nail on the head. It imparts a sort of crackling savory caramel then a huge wateriness and finally, “where did half of my glass go?” This beer does not disappear in a Live Oak or Mongo IPA sort of way. This is just incredibly thin and you need to drink gulps of it to impart the taste. This is not a huge selling point in my book. It feels like a very watered down Belgian dubbel almost, but without the cool yeast notes and just a sort of bitter caramel at the end.
Knock back a 12’er of these and you can be the Blackout Ranger.
M: This is very light and would be a nice alternative to Newcastle or Fat Tire, were I even drinking them in the first place. Ultimately there is not a whole lot to return to. The finish is nice and lingers for a bit with a sort of simcoe/mid-range hoppiness to it, but again, it just doesn’t feel that exceptional.
D: This isn’t even exceptionally drinkable due to the burnt notes and crackling copper flavor that I get from it. Again, this isn’t a bad beer by any means, but it just isn’t worth your time either. I would liken this beer to opening a sui generis café in Grenich Village, you have to be exceptional to survive and this certainly is anything but.
I can only hope my 5 year-old daughter turns out this bad ass.
Narrative: Life at the metal works wasn’t ideal, but hey, it could be worse. Sure there were fumes of zinc, copper, molten tin, and smoldering oxidized steel; but lunchtime was always a refreshing experience. Carl Atkins particularly enjoyed his Panini sandwiches that he painstakingly prepared each morning. “Mmm, you can’t beat that smoky proscuitto” he indulgently declared to his co-workers. They put up with him and his decadent ways but in the end, it was a metallurgy works, and no one could smell anything. You felt bad for the guy, living in denial with his little bit of summer breeze every day at 12:00 noon. “Oh man, you can really get those salty savory notes,” everyone nodded in disbelief, knowing that all he tasted was raw copper ore and faint talc in that sandwich. “I think the aioli really makes this feel like a summer sandwich, you know?” They knew.