Pulpit Rock Forelsket: The Prussian Blue of the Stout World

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Innovation comes in waves and ebbs like the tides. This guy Diesbach accidentally made Prussian blue paint in 1710 by contaminating it and adding iron. As a result, Japanese landscapes changed and Hokusai was able to paint Under the Wave. This isometric perspective of blues influenced Van Gogh to paint Starry Night, which was modified by Monet’s Water Lillies, and rejected by Rothko. Because one guy made a cheap blue paint.

Imperial Stouts have had their own Prussian blue in the form of residual sugars. Sky high final gravity in the late 2000s was seen as a novice move, yeast knocking out, ineffective attenuation. It wasn’t desired. Pulpit Rock wouldn’t have been winning any beauty contests in the GW Bush era. But from Abyss to Dark Lord to Huna, viscosity became job one with Florida spiking a bubbling crude in the Everglades in the early 2010’s, making Kaggen look svelte and laughable to the candymouthed delegates.

Enter Iowa. The prescriptivity of SHOULD is framed by what people want. Forelsket is the highest rated beer of July 2021 at 4.8 and is reselling for $350, so who is correct: pancreasboiz or hydrometers? This beer is insanely lush and layers, devils food cake and almond joy, fondue dipped macaroons, and SnoBall cupcakes. But are these virtues in the realm of beer? IDK have you ever even felt a boob, bc that’s who would even ask these things.

It is magnificent and an exaggerated version of the Mortalis Apple Leto, or a subtle version of the ridiculous Weldwerks Starry Noche. All the guys who played twangy Midwest emo eventually began shredding clean like Polyphia, its still excessive and indulgent just in a different way. This is coconut but with the gain turned all the way up, as soft as the insides of a Ferrero Rocher but people will judge you for enjoying those.

Some people legit care how many Spotify followers they have. It’s a strange niche, but it exists. This beer is fantastic but needs to be embraced with the context of its Iowa Slipknot excess. Sugar is the Prussian Black to stoutsmouths. The accident of 18 plato FG is still lapping at our shores, painting khaki masterpieces on palates.

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