Next up on the “Let’s Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today Ok Fine” (LGVLABTOKF) Journey is Dry River Brewing. This taproom is located conveniently across the street from Indie Brewing Company in a part of LA by the dry canal river that resembles something akin to Gotham City meets Blighttown.

Dry River Brewing has a dangerous ass entry with a step that surely someone has eaten shit upon before and you are greeted like a Myst game: shitloads of doors in a 300sf tasting room. I seriously counted seven doors to various places, Resident Evil houses have more logical layout. It feels like you snuck in somewhere you aren’t allowed. It’s wood paneled with all kinds of doors and sliding apparatus and empty bottles with flowers in them. The marriage of rustic cabin and “boiler room couture” is odd. Let’s get this out of the way, this brewery is fucking expensive, and it doesn’t really make sense.

I ordered a hibiscus saison Michelada and two tasters and my bill was like $24. I got those sweet WordPress clickbuxxx tho so I am not tripping, no expense is too much for me to experience middling tasting rooms. There is nothing standard occurring here. Usually that’s some superlative being lauded out like a dollop of sour cream in cold borscht but I mean this literally. The tasting board reads like a parody of beer nerd browser stroke material with no harbor for normal palates. Here’s an example, I ordered Jagarundi, a $10 pour of stein beer with cocoa and cold brew. None of those elements were a muted aspect of one another, it was a Walmart shouting match between the three elements. It was like A1 steak sauce and bitter oversteeped PEET’S classic burnt roast and edge brownines on the finish. It was bizarre and not in a fun Ale Apothecary “LOL PAUL ARNEY IS SO WACKY” kind of way. William Guayabo was a mouth shattering sour guava beer.

My salivary glands were getting bombed like tropical Dresden and burned out along the mandible. I think this was like a $4 taster so I pushed through it. My $12 saison michelada was legitimately excellent. It was beautiful, perfectly balanced, super refreshing and the tartness matched the Lucas and tamarind flawlessly. I would return to this hot, wooden tasting room just for this radical mixology. Bridges was a pretty solid IPA and ultra refreshing. So their misses coupled with their hits gets them on base. The entire feel of the place is super welcoming and the staff is ultra genial and you feel as though you could strike up a conversation with anyone there. Instead I was a futrive prick sweating in his Rag and Bone shirt and got into my M and left with my stupid fucking judgments, my myopic determinations, ready to serve them up to tens of thousands of people based upon a total of 30 ounces consumed. That’s how I get down, dripping in sweat and latent cowardice, pumping impressions from on high with zero accountability, like anyone gives a fuck about DDB.

So this brewery unseats Indie as the BEST LA BREWERY BY WAY OF LIMITED SAMPLING:

1. Dry River brewing

2. Indie Brewing Co.

Making myself less welcome everywhere I go, with each passing post.