LGVLABTOKF: Boomtown Brewery

Next up on “Let’s Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today O K Fine” (LGVLABTOKF) we will travel to the Arts District/Wealthy Childless Professional Loft district to BOOMTOWN BREWERY. I have to admit that I accidentally ignored this brewery and their products for, conservatively, since they opened until now. Be it their name which reminds me of Lord Hobo BOOM SAUCE, to the $375.00 club AT OPENING, to the logo which looks like they took Modern Times and Rare Barrel logos to a fiver artist: I just disregarded these seemingly ubiquitous cans.

This tasting room is pure fucking chaos. When you walk up to a tasting room and there is a bouncer, you know that the four walls can barely contain the fuckery lurking within like a Mimic chest. The inside of this place reminds me of that scene in Pinnochio where Stromboli takes them to that island where the boys destroy art and turn into donkeys. It’s pure madness. Darts abutting shuffleboard, sandwiched in between cornhole, and IDK wood paneled walls and foosball. There could have been lasertag, I didn’t check. In the midst of all this waterparkesque disarray, there’s low tables and leather couches, wood accents and skylights. It’s jarring to take in.

Thankfully the beers will not draw your attention to their quality, so you are free to take it all in. Lime Light was gently carbed and perfect for drinking while putting together Gundam models or any activity where you don’t need to focus on what you are drinking. There are innumerable riffs on this lightly malty, mid 2000s amarillo and CA ALE STRAIN WLP001 MOTHERFUCKERS. Nose Job is the same, except a touch more watery instead of crystal driven, with simcoe tonez instead. Neither will make you look up from your Dan Brown novel or whatever boring people do. Mic Czech was very very good and oddly the least “noteworthy” style on the board was absolutely captivating. I almost didnt pay attention to the mealy mouthed kid who sent Jenga pieces akimbo towards the drunk USC bros. This was exceptional and it made me think maybe they have some kind of Highland Park chops but the rest of the catalogue felt so phoned in, that the recipes may have been procedurally generated by a cicerone scraper bot. The valley beyond is the same thing. It’s all pretty good. A Nissan Altima is pretty good. The Baltimore Orioles are pretty okay I guess.

I always see people crushing these cans. Michael Gabriel loves this shit. I never understood it, now I do. This is for people who dont give a shit, but dont want to be perceived as not <i> knowing </i> shit. This is their market segment, feigned lack of indifference.

This sneaks in solidly mediocre between our two prior contenders, which is wholly appropriate. Here’s the LAeaderboard:

1. Dry River Brewing

2. Boomtown Brewery

3. Indie Brewing Company

Also the floccboi shirt sale ends tomorrow


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