People criticize old DDB for not leaving the house enough. The trappings of living in an ivory tower and emptying the dump bucket of ferm privilege out the window of conceit has its shortcomings. So to change this, I am embarking on a bold new initiative to go to Los Angeles breweries, known and unknown, and complain about them, with mild shellacking of praise as an offset.
First up we have Indie Brewing Company, which is a name so generic that it sounds like a company in a sitcom or a trifling romc with copyright litigation averse lawyers. The logo is like a hop with a mowhawk or something, so maybe it is music driven. On that note, the music in this place is blaring and fucking terrible. I know music is subjective but this wasn’t like “oh I dont prefer U2” this was like they played stock music from early 2000s Cinemax films or something. Extremely loudly. Everyone there seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely. There’s TV’s and like a little lounge area, and inexplicable astroturf on every surface. The beers take that same threadbare co-opting of hip hop lyrics that is endemic to everything west of Monkish and east of J Wakefield. FIND THAT JUICY DOUBLE/ DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK, etc. you can cite any fragmentary rap lyric from the Clinton administration and apply for TTB approval. How about “NOW IM SWITCHING MY MIND BACK INTO FREAK MODE” altbier bc LOL remember “regulate?” We fill growlers.
Anyway, the beer is fine. It hits that type of GPA that will keep your parents off your back and get you into a brewery State College where you can major in like polisci or something equally uninspiring. The barleywine is Bad n’ Boozie brutal from every angle. These unbalanced TIPA tier hop bombs of malty IEDs are exactly what give busted myopic palates a disfavorable conception of barleywines. Those instarones who are always like “WELL I HAD HOG HEAVEN ONCE SO I THINK I KNOW WHAT I-” Haus of Haze was fine. If you’ve had any innumerable bag cereal versions of god tier haze, you know what to expect, lack of depth, wispy carb and sustain. It’s a Pass/Fail grade and doesn’t affect anything. Pacific Kolsch Highwya was the best thing I had from them and it was fucking great. I would drink gallons of this, but I’m sure people just pass right over that one in lieu of other yawn inducing beers like Get Wit It.
The coolest part of this taproom was this dog.
This dog was just chilling in the heat, enduring, living his best life. I felt a strong connection with this dog while I was trying to just stumble through 5 painful ounces of lysol barleywine. Each of us enduring this journey together watching as no fewer than five dudes wearing Dragon Ball Z shirts sat at a picnic table. He understood me more than Indie Brewing Company ever could.
I will be ranking all of the breweries in my “Let’s Go Visit Los Angeles Breweries Today Ok Fine” (LGVLABTOF) journey, as a result of being the first, Indie Brewing Company gets to claim the top spot. The best brewery in LA. You heard it here first folks, by way of default:
1. Indie Brewing Company (Blighttown, CA)