The bruery brusicle is selling obese dudes fruit, there is no punchline. It’s just purée

Bruesicle. What in the actual possibility of celibacy. So @caseybrewing goes “how about 2lbs of amazing fruit inside a rad base farmhouse?” Then @blackprojectbeer was like “sure, but what about 3lbs of fruit in a pretty okay saison?” Then @theanswerva was like “fuck all that, 4lbs of fruit per gallon in a beer we didn’t even brew, also our fans are dipshits who will raffle 3%abv crowlers for $120” then @thebruery cracked their knuckles and was like “all juice.” And the sad CSU Fullerton intern was like “ssssir?” And @bruerypatrick boomed “I SAID ALL FRUIT GOD DAMN YOU” and the brewers got hard at work: not brewing. This is seriously just completely juice. Not in the dipshit untappd adjective-bankrupt floccboi “OMG JUUUUUUUUCE BOMBBBBB” , I mean this is literally naked juice that may have like 15% of some Berliner back blended in. How am I supposed to review this? It would be like reviewing a Bellini at some stupid fucking gender reveal party. Just look at this Robeks shit, you know exactly what Kerns tastes like, that’s what this tastes like. Can you drink 32oz of no fooling straight up produce? I bet you can’t. This is a net positive since most husky beer nerds only encounter fruit in marinara sauce format. I am glad this exists, I just don’t need to ever drink it.

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