When I first saw the mock ups for the Hoof Hearted marketing materials, I was like “makes sense, use placeholding MS Paint images until they, wait what, that’s seriously what their logo looks like? Well- shit.”
Now they are pushing the envelope, creasing it in half with IPAs that look like this:
It is like a trub-race to see who can make the filthiest IPA in the game. Those MA and VT technicians were leading the charge and canning shaken pineapple juice, but Hoof Hearted said fuck all that and is now just canning Wyeast smack packs.
With the modern ticker palates being what they are, by 2017 “IPAs” will look like Wendy’s frosties and people will be like “OH SHIT THAT BEIGE OPAQUE LOOK IS SO ON POINT, I LOVE THE KHAKI LACING FROM THE MILKY DISCHARGE 100/100.”
This “matter in suspension” aka YEAST WARS has no chill. No chill haze. I can only assume that the Hoof Hearted way is to toss 80% of each batch and only hand source the most mayonaisey of the trub cake, aka that reserve Solara method aka Camry sourcing.
God damn I cannot wait to actually try one of these so I can eat my own words if these are actually delicious. I will gladly recant if these taste better than they look, but as it stands this is straight Donald Duck grocery aisle OJ.
For comparison, try to determine which is a glass of Hoof Hearted and which is actually lukewarm chicken broth: