You’re probably thinking “We went from whales to these pedestrian offerings?” Well you have to recognize the darkness to appreciate the light, so lighten up with today’s review.

Shipyard porter Baltic Porter, 7.1%

A: A deep brown or “light black?” appearance that has some medium transparency, not altogether opaque but with a mild shininess that you get with stouts and porters. Nice kahki head that subsides into sticky lacing, just like mom used to make.

S: Lots of clove notes, roasted almond, huge smoke profile with burnt cedar, and of course, chocolatey abundance all around.

T: The initial taste is a chocolate note, but this is the only imperial aspect of this beer, the rest is content to subside into a huge smokey roasted profile that would rather tag along with rauschbiers than its porter brothers.

M: Again, if this is imperial, the empire is in shoddy disarray. This has very few big/over done notes to it and feels thin and muted throughout. This is the “Empire” of Poland prior to its various partitions. An empire in name alone and leaves the drinker discontent with the bait and switch that has occurred. Minimal coating and slippery thin chewiness are present.

D: This is a very drinkable beer in the respect that it is very little lingering and doesn’t present a large enough profile for any sort of reflection, however, I don’t consider it a laudable aspect ot be able to mow through imperial porters like compliant bowling pins. There should be some opposition or tastes that make you reflect on the experience. This imperial porter is a pushover that welcomes you to its throne as a capable usurper.

Narrative: An antechamber of silence awaited the gawky dauphine. He was born with an awkward gait an a quiet disposition that made him likeable to his peers, if not compliant and easy to manipulate. The unforseen early death of his mother cast a great weight upon his frail shoulders and now an impovershed nation looked upon him for guidance. “H-hey…we sh…maybe we should st…start the ceremony? If you w w wwant to?” “Yes my liege.” A great velvet cape was cast around this negligent prince and he was escorted to the regal balcony to make his address. Thousands of serfs clamoured below awaiting some direction in this hour of great sadness. “Hey…hey fellas, well…I guess we..we gotta get moving in the right direction and so..I was thinking maybe tithing could be increased…just to y..you know, get capital flowing, if that’s ok with you guys?” The crowd almost unanimously shook their heads, it was their curse for they were not subjects of the Ottoman or the Byzantine, they were the reluctant subjects of the Shipyard Empire.