So amongst that camp that doesn’t seek out crazy rare releases or attend long lines and crazy beer debuts, this is usually mentioned as their whipping boy and constantly brought to battle against the high level Materia from hardcore stout mages. Ultimately, it isn’t a fair fight, but let’s see how this non-BA big boy holds his weight.
Oscar Blues Ten Fidy 10.5% abv Imperial Stout
This comes in a can, not sure if that jazzes you up. To finally address the issue, YES, you can age this in a can, for fucks sake can we not have any more threads about this? Fine. Let’s move on.
A: This has a pretty viscous appearance to it with nice coating and sticky mahogany carbonation. However, contrary to what most people think, this is not the most viscous used motor oilesque beer that I have ever seen. Rare, Parabola, Abyss, and particularly Hunapuhs are all thicker and exhibit better coating. That is not to say this beer isn’t as black as Satan’s magic, it is. It has tiny bubbles and isolated dots of lacing.
S: There is a bit of coffee and some black licorice. You can smell the roasted malts and a sort of burnt turbinado sugar. The bouquet is a bit flat and unremarkable, pretty standard for the genre and style.
T: It has a huge bitter chocolate sweetness at the outset that subsides into deep chocolate malts and finishes with a drying effect. This is a very solid offering especially for the non-barrel aged crowd that can be seen as so pedestrian. Everyone just shaking their heads, “tisking” to their heart’s desire, knowing that a baller version exists out there.
M: The mouth feel has a great stickiness that lingers for about 25 seconds after you swallow it. The mouthfeel is thick but not oppressively so. For the huge gravity and alcohol of this beer, it doesn’t come off as overly filling. I enjoy the interplay of sweet and very bitter elements.
D: Strangely, this is a very delicious and drinkable stout, despite its shortcomings in the aroma and taste aspects. This is not a session beer, but the cans make it very versatile and I can finally take a huge thick stout to the beach. All of my dreams finally come true, my tossing a Frisbee around care free, swishing in the tide with stained khaki teeth.
Narrative: It was a one stoplight town in rural Alabama, but it held a simple regal poise. Michael Davidson operated a simple confectionary bake shop with his beautiful wife. Also, the town dentist had intercourse with her just months before Michael met her. He often toiled with the idea of driving to North Haversberg to have his teeth cleaned, but that was clear 90 miles away and they didn’t accept his insurance. Each visit was a toil of patience and self-discipline for Michael, he flipped through the Highlights magazine hurriedly, nervously awaiting Jeffrey Nogales, DDS. The coy way Mr. Nogales removed his latex gloves couldn’t help but augur that hate deep in Michael’s heart to imagine the same latex condom, cast away from his life partner. “So, I see we have some enamel erosion here, TOO MANY SWEETS FROM YOUR SWEET EH MICH-” Michael bit down hard and clenched his bicuspids and stared Dr. Nogales in his eyes and knowingly nodded with a black hateful rage, casting his dental care away for a spiteful pride. Michael spit the tip of Dr. Nogales’s index finger into the rinse bowl and smiled a crimson smile and signed the COBRA paperwork accordingly.