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Cellar Maker lost wisdom is silently bodying these floccboiiarea dipshits

Jesus this @cellarmakerbrewing foeder saison is way better than it has business being. casey and HF regularly have shown how to reconcile the American acidity of Faux wild mixed ferm saisons with the gristy yeasty character of the old world and this marries those concepts beautifully. There’s a dialed in body with great Chablis and cut melon on the nose, wispy frothed 50/50 bar, and an intensely dry lemon verbena finish. While the rest of the Bay Area is still trying to get their toddler hazelegs gems like these silently snipe from the SOMA weeds with a .300 knockout OP AF. If you enjoy the simple clean and intensely drinkable white label series from @sideprojectbrew cf. the “unleveraged” offerings, you’ll love this funky gristy Citrine.

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Kuhnhenn Raw Dog BA eisbock: when Lager is life

One of the rare instances where Lager is Life. Kuhnhenn already herds goats on the reg with BB4d and bbbw canon 🐐 🚨 but this takes things to an absurd new level of toffee caramel booze soaked indulgence. At $50 for a 12oz bottle, the index for fucking around was registering empty. I usually wouldn’t bother to try and chase down a 90 bottle release a second time but god damn this was so good that I had to smash twice. Huge shout out to Brian Borger for letting me dip my sticky caramel wick in this bourbon inkwell again. This was on the ddb top 10 in 2016 and I been thinking bout thos beans ever since. 🐐

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Monday Night Brewing don’t call it hotlanta. I won’t.

For the love of rhizomes. The idea of a quadruple dry hopped beer sounds like some self parodic Cringey UNILAD shit. LOLOL funny or die lampooned beer culture so hard, written by someone who only knows shit tangentially about the subject. But honestly, this take olfactory tones to “seventh grader bedroom” levels. This beer should come with a black light TOOL poster. It’s so Danny and resinous that it clicks into fucking arugula and shallot territory. It’s so god damn loud. One of those beers you open at a concert and you get knowing raised eyebrows from people who hit that milky cloud you just wafted. It’s that pungent. Not tropical, not hype slurry, it’s old school resin knife hits off the electric stove. The taste is so god damn dry, the oily profile has this like sauv blanc thing that’s not refreshing at all but Jesus I can scarcely imagine a west coast IPA that is this disruptive. It’s not elegant or nuanced, it’s a fucking 60 str wielding requirement that just pancakes your palates with dual handed alpha acid swings. Some dudes pay to watch people defile their cars. There’s a fetish for everyone even with drippy comes. @mondaynight continues to stay weird and I don’t know how to deal with it.

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Troon Brewing Corpsair, barleywine loses its way

Corpsair. Even the sacred source of Life, barleywine, is not immune to pastrification. Leave it to New Jersey to kick what was once perfectly fine right into a Sarlacc pit. The lactose already had my brow furrowed, then I saw “conditioned on cacao nibs and Abdon Quilla Ochochoque coffee from Rojo Roastery” and the visions of endless barista hellscapes flooded my mind. This is how you lose ground, it always starts with coffee. What is a seemingly innocuous flavor profile is always the gateway drug that leads to full on bastardization of styles and excess. Everyone knows what classic roast tastes list and it is approachable, to a fault. Look at the arc of how Speedway took this parabolic dive like a V-2 rocket into Boxcar territory. Gravity’s Rainbow aside, is this beer good? It’s pretty fine, provided you do not like barleywine at all. I am not saying this in a Calusa sort of way. Calusa, and Mash n Grind both did this, except the core experience was still a barleywine. This might as well be a Golden Strong or a Tripel base, just fucking look at it. Helldorado is darker than that. The mouthfeel is extremely thin and this is after lactose is applied. The coffee profile dominates and it ends up that like other New Jersey problem child, Carton’s Regular Coffee. Augie’s issues notwithstanding, this beer treads new territory but it’s like Ni No Kuni 2, I don’t think we need this. Just stick to what we all wanted in the first place, fetch quests and endless obsessive Japanese grinding. My biggest issue is the long dry swallow to this and the odd struggle for power between bitter acrid roast and a sweeeeet Coffeemate profile that just feels like waiting for an oil change. The experience would be complete if I drank this out of a styro cup with Tucker Carlson on in the background.

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Wren House Black Canyon, the heir to the Arizonan honey throne

Last year Wren House dropped a straight up Illmatic classic with Who Hit John Grand Cru. The multiple BALs and complexity from the mead cask finish was absolutely out of pocket and made the DDB top 10 list. So now enter this Shasta, marshmallow mateys version, JUST mead barrel. I love that we exist in a timeline where ONLY a mead barrel aged stout seems somehow lackluster. No matter what you do, people are going to inherently compare this to the tectonic shifting predecessor. Young Solo is gonna go through the same struggles. This beer is good, it has legit carb for the abv, nice sheeting, the residual sugars are balanced and surprisingly the mead aspect never grips your shoulder in demanding manner. The nose is grape hookah, raspberry preserves, Granache, and tootsie rolls. The mouthfeel is a bit thinner than I was anticipating but it never drops a fusel trap card, despite all the honey rope play. The end result is a beer that is good but simply can’t swing on its ex-military Longshoreman mead father. It’s a good problem to have as a brewery that you made something that people wont shut the fuck up about. Most places want to have this issue. Except prolly IDK Flossmoor station.

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Red Brick Airbrush Daydream is some bizarre Myrtle Beach hazy waterpark IPA

When I was a kid we had this game in billiards called “Crazy Balls.” It consistent of standing on two sides of a pool table and throwing balls down airhockey style, resulting in many smashed fingers from colliding hard spheres on their way back down. The point is, we could have just been getting better at pool, but that endeavor was oddly painful and satisfying. Now enter this shit, Airbrush Daydream. It’s like your de jure hazy, milky, light bodied IPA with almost zero resinous swallow except: it’s sour. For some reason. Crazy Balls. It’s interesting and pretty good, but part of me wonders why they just didn’t work on their nine ball because the base seems pretty legit. The body is dialed in, the retention is solid, the hopwork underpinning this is gentle and reminds me of the soft hand that Creature Comforts employs in their non_paradiso.exe framework. I get that this is a Kenny Powers type of joke about what I can only presume to be weapons grade doucheculture in Myrtle Beach but, this shit didn’t need to be modified billiards. The sour mixed with the lovely tangelo profile gives it this odd acidity meets brackishness like a water park, or chlorine. Maybe it’s a subtle nod to Seadoo farers, slathered in lobster skinned tourism excesses. In that case, nailed it. The end result is like when you get a Rush song that can stand alone and then, oh wait, here we go a six minute interlude, is that a theramine?