Wren House Desert Kingsnake is a Pieta-stry Stout

Someone poisoned the waterhole

In my last review I got pushback where people lamented “what should these pastry stouts even finish at to please you DDB?”

A vanilla stout can either be one of three depictions of Jesus: annunciation, deposition, or pieta.

An annunciation is Gabriel announcing to the Virgin Mary. This is usually a perfunctory execution where the adjunct is there, the barrel time is limited, something great is coming but due to scaling, it just wasn’t there.

A deposition is where Jesus is being removed from the cross. This is usually excessive, effusive, hitting things too literally, overwrought expressions of Tahitian or Madagascan, barrel staves mourning.

Pieta is a pastry stout where Mary is holding Jesus’ dead body. This is the pocket you want to be at with barrel aged vanilla stouts. Grace, elegance, modernity with a splash of nostalgic high middle beer ages romanticism.

This Kingsnake goes full pieta. It’s not about the FG, it’s how you use it. This beer tastes exactly like the final bite of a Drumstick ice cream cone. It has the rich hard chocolate core wrapped in wafflecone and a slight waxiness from the residual vanilla. It is an allusion to vanilla without actually bisecting your bean.

It nods to gelato in the way a dude who knows his REI points has the impression of outdoorsiness. Bringing a brownie batter canteen would be too much. This has that fantastic capacity for remaining steadfastly roasty and a stout, the odd oiliness and chocolate rice aspect of a Crunch bar, but with the embrace of a barrel aged pieta.

At no point does Wren need to preach to you about their intent, they adorn a good stout with tasteful Rococo bean and nibs. This is how you want it to land, never feeling needless or showy, but succinct and purposeful Ben and Jerry’s.

This exceptional stout goes harder than pure carrera marble with no veins.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s