New Groove Meet Me at the Creek, You Wouldnt Last a Minute on the Pastry Creek

Dental insurance is basically a coupon

At this point pastry stouts are the Hallmark holiday movies of the brewing world. At best they can come off as derivative, at worst some sticky sweet overwrought treacle that you have to share with a lot of people to get any enjoyment out of.

Sometimes you get a “Holiday in Handcuffs” or something that takes the mold of predictable and takes it to the next level. New Groove took a Billy Strings song and said “ah yes this reminds me of two types of vanilla beans, CUSTOM toffee, cocoa nibs, and almonds.”

I braced myself for dental occlusions. Sometimes just a beer label can spike your A1c levels. The stout is worth the loss of some digits. And what happened then? Well, in Boiling Springs they say that DDB’s small pancreas grew three sizes that day. Somehow by multiplying enough saccharine negatives, an intense positive was derived.

The body looks excessive, but sheets akin to 500ct kit kat bar. I expected grating like when your friend brags about how many steps they did on vacation, like no shit you’re walking around a place you’ve never been of course youre going to put in 20k brownie batter steps. Instead it was this Ferrero Rocher elegance, bonkers but sustainable.

The cask is buried but provides heat and a drying structure to the adjuncts. Like your girlfriend who leaves the Brita pitcher in the fridge empty, its expected but a sweet minor disrespect. Swallow brings a touch of fusel warmth, flourless lava cake, ganache, and then miraculously: beer. At the core of this confectioner chaos, you can taste stout.

Like someone who talks excessively about credit card points, you brace your core for some grating experience. But then this stout takes care of the round of drinks and the sweetness is overriding in a pleasant way. The combination of all the additives are knit seamlessly like a warm patchwork quilt with upcycled candy store materials. Sustainable cavities for a mindful sip.

It is uplifting. New Groove needs to be the ghost of Pastry Future and go to Ebeneezer Weldwerks and show them what going down the path of sticky excess can lead to. You there what day is it? Insulin day. God bless us, every stout.

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