Parasocial relationships are unilateral affairs where one side extends interest, emotional investment, and the recipient is unaware of the other. You will see this with simps pouring cash into Onlyfans accounts, tipping twitch streamers, or responding audibly to a pre-recorded podcast. It’s a fascinating phenomenon.
For all the gruff, potstilling, whiskey running, outlaw branding, tough as nails marketing: bourbon dudes are a sensitive lot. Insecurities are a Sarlac pit for parasocial relationships so it’s no surprise you’ll see these same middle managers going senpai and siding with Heaven Hill despite labor issues, or wringing their Merona flannels when someone is undervaluing their precious Blanton’s with a horsie letter they want. Unreciprocated allegiance is rampant.
So when Jack Daniels announced all of the hype words strung together: cask strength, single barrel, store pick, the charcoal filtered fetishists showed up to defend Brown-Forman, a company that doesn’t give a single shit about them. MM LINCOLN COUNTY PROCESS MY WOOD MOMMY.
You should never meet your heroes. Jack Daniels may have this amorous tone when mixed with Pepsi in some sweaty leaky undergrad basement, but like a date with a guy who does improv comedy: a little bit goes a long yes and’ing way. You don’t need full strength JD.
This bottle is shitty. Wait, if you enjoy that sick sweet meets aspiring taste of Advil coating, then you will enjoy this 130pf hateswallow. Come in expecting Shasta Stagg, leave with turpentine Barq’s root beer in your shame hole. The nose is fine, brown banana with sandalwood. The sip shows true Jack, the one coke is made for. The abusive fusel wave that needs to be tempered with fizzy sugary therapy.
If you love oversteeped tea, black pepper, acrid popsicle sticks, and walnuts soaked in Absolut, then step right up. Jack doesn’t care about you. In 1911 he kicked his safe out of anger injuring his foot, contracted gangrene and died. Perhaps that iodine and toffee is the “extra blessing” charcoal embrace you seek. Maybe you Venmo your discord admin. Either way, it is harsh one sided love that will never be reciprocated