Phase Three Brewing Minutiae is Fantastic, Their Fans Will Hate It

Put a bird on it

Pastry purveyors are tired of getting dunked on and the result is course-correction in their tanks. Breweries that want the superstout clout initially drop the predictable See’s candylingus of vanilla, coconut, cacoa nibs. It sells. It gets maladjusted dudes emotional as they refresh the cart. Candy is high drama in the beer world

Eventually, glucose monitors become your brewery’s legacy, so they drop stripped down grunge albums to show they still TRIPLE DECOCT ROCK. This services the elitist palates as well, because they can go “Yeah sure, but have you ever had Main and Mill’s Weizenbock?” and pretend their palates are above the trifling reindeer games of 200 calorie 1 ounce pours

Phase Three was getting pegged as Wonkaphiles, but the Minutiae is in the details. The result is extremely well done, far better than their dessert lineup. This is a “Shasta BBT” of sorts. Excellent casks, extended aging, component blending. The result is nothing like their other stouts and something I don’t think the public was ready for

This tastes like an imperial Scandinavian style stout. Like a massive KAGGEN! With all the black licorice, molasses, star anise, Good and Plentys, and a long herbal vanilla grip on the inner thigh to let you know that you are safe. This massive stout texts you when you wake up and imparts layers of burnt brownie edges, grape hookah, Black and Mild kisses on the neck at an EDM show. Scorch the pan and leave the flourless cake in there, this is what you get. Guys who shop at Kohl’s don’t like stuff like this

If you have to work to suss out the intent, the 18 month beer palate gives up. Just put pictographs of what they should taste right on the label. Make it like a Denny’s menu, just point and confirm “YES, ALMOND JOY” like some gesticulate batter obsessed Silverback. The pivot is too hard and I can see the people who love excess rolling their ankles in New Balances trying to field this strange, delightful beer that checks so many of my prurient maltboxes

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