Hang onto your sessionable areolas because today we are reviewing a god damn Extra Special Bitter. Wow ESBs what next is DDB gonna ruin Grodziskies for us? YES. So this is a style that almost doesn’t even exist in America because it has a tendency to sit on draft in perpetuity once a brewer gets his way and finally makes one. The hoppy dipshits won’t drink actual English beers, the stout squad will think it’s too thin and for some entry level palates they won’t reach for it. I really enjoy these because deep down they are kinda session barleywines. The malt of this beer works in perfect tandem with the clean hard water profile to make this feel like rye bread Gatorade. The flavor to weight ratio is off the charts imparting baking crust but a frothy carb with sustain and cling. Even real ale purists could tip their Ben Sherman cabbie hat 🎩 to how gently and precisely this beer sticks the landing.

Hot weather doesn’t mean you need forego depth or go full acid beer, go revisit the past, for some beer nerds it will actually be their first foray into classic British styles. They aren’t actually bitter and the mouthfeel and low residual carb is the real star here compelling almost involuntary chugs. It’s a weird flex to do something as uncoveted as ESBs so well, it’s like being popular on Tiktok. Or the world’s best Monkey Island streamer on twitch. Hats off to @calusabrewing for giving me something I didn’t even need. No one will buy this, I’m ok with that, most people in the beer scene today don’t actually deserve nice things. They deserve the irradiated commoditized attention seeking blast crater that they engineered. Lmk if ESBs start trending on #beerselfie accounts.

Maybe people should stop bringing every little piece of hyped up trash that they happen to find

I used to be such a nice person.