LGVLABTOKF: Scholb Brewing

Alright, staying in Torrance and knocking out another relatively unknown LA brewery today on LGVLABTOKF: Scholb Brewing. At first blush I saw how close it was to Absolution and my cervical spine tightened up with PTSD for that industrial park near the refinery and lumber companies. Thankfully there is nothing really objectionable about Scholb, but there isn’t anything really praiseworthy either.

You walk in and there’s dudes playing cornhole despite clear signs prohibiting this conduct near the paella truck.

Editor’s note: The music at this place is FUCKING AMAZING. I am not doing a bit, they were playing old AFI, authority zero, catch 22, it legitimately made the entire experience better for me specifically and perhaps exclusively but it’s a really pleasant place to relax.

If Tommy Bahama had a propagation chamber, it would create a starter culture for these consumers, middle aged white dudes in polo shirts presumably talking about whether Tiger is still relevant in the Bridgestone Invitational. Scholb beer is equally inoffensive. I checked in on YELP and got a sixth free taster, which was welcome but perhaps not necessary. I got the jist after 5 tasters and some jerky. Their beers are the fermented equivalent of a Macaroni Grill meal: if you haven’t been to many places and didnt leave town after high school you will probably think this is as good as it gets. There’s nothing wrong with that.

The cherry sour wasn’t exceptionally tart or complex, it had a mild lactic profile. The peach saison wasn’t exceptionally peach and the entire time you can practically FEEL which white labs starters were used. When you think of CA Ale strain 001 in its various incantations, this is their porter, lightly watery and lacking roasty depth. It’s whatever. They are all ultra clean and well made but wholly uninspired. There is no reason to seek this out, no reason to avoid it, like listening to Tame Impala, you forget you are even consuming anything.

The best beer was Moon Tide and I could see people drilling those endlessly but again, it’s hard to push this through the grist mill because the most notable thing about this tasting room was an airbrushed painting of a poodle. If you were filming a major network series about people opening a brewery, it would look like this, stock, some set dresser would look at what they look like and approximate it.

Ranking this one is like pushing a blank card into a deck:

So where do they rank in the LGVLABTOKF hierarchy?

1. Verdugo West Brewing

2. Dry River Brewing

3. Strand Brewing

4. Boomtown Brewery

5. Scholb Brewing

6. Brewyard Beer Company

7. Indie Brewing Company

The mission continues, I am told I have a mere 77 more Los Angeles breweries to go.

Great.

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