Corpsair. Even the sacred source of Life, barleywine, is not immune to pastrification. Leave it to New Jersey to kick what was once perfectly fine right into a Sarlacc pit. The lactose already had my brow furrowed, then I saw “conditioned on cacao nibs and Abdon Quilla Ochochoque coffee from Rojo Roastery” and the visions of endless barista hellscapes flooded my mind. This is how you lose ground, it always starts with coffee. What is a seemingly innocuous flavor profile is always the gateway drug that leads to full on bastardization of styles and excess. Everyone knows what classic roast tastes list and it is approachable, to a fault. Look at the arc of how Speedway took this parabolic dive like a V-2 rocket into Boxcar territory. Gravity’s Rainbow aside, is this beer good? It’s pretty fine, provided you do not like barleywine at all. I am not saying this in a Calusa sort of way. Calusa, and Mash n Grind both did this, except the core experience was still a barleywine. This might as well be a Golden Strong or a Tripel base, just fucking look at it. Helldorado is darker than that. The mouthfeel is extremely thin and this is after lactose is applied. The coffee profile dominates and it ends up that like other New Jersey problem child, Carton’s Regular Coffee. Augie’s issues notwithstanding, this beer treads new territory but it’s like Ni No Kuni 2, I don’t think we need this. Just stick to what we all wanted in the first place, fetch quests and endless obsessive Japanese grinding. My biggest issue is the long dry swallow to this and the odd struggle for power between bitter acrid roast and a sweeeeet Coffeemate profile that just feels like waiting for an oil change. The experience would be complete if I drank this out of a styro cup with Tucker Carlson on in the background.