Not every brewery is a hitter like Sosa, some are essentially Chief Keefs in disguise who talk big street game. I almost feel bad for new breweries trying to enter the flawless market saturation that is PDX. Boneyard is killing the hop game, HotD has massive ales on lock, Upright smashing the farmhouse ass raw dog; and Cascade is doing Cascadey things.

Then there’s this shit:
I will paint the picture: a massive, sweaty, Faulknerian, wood lined pub with Applebee’s floor space, and no air conditioning. On a Saturday night the place never hit that coveted double digit territory; dart boards: unused. And as always A MOTHERFUCKING MUG CLUB COME ON ARE YOU KIDDING ME

But what is this DontTakeTrips.com? Let’s talk about the beer and stop mincing words complaining about collateral bullshit.  I must note at the outset, you are able to try every single beer on tap for a mere $12.00.  So how the fuck can you level any real complaints against the product at those prices? WELP HERE GOES:

BARREL AGED STOUT: ALRIGHT, in my trip to Portland two beers are tied for the shittiest beers in Oregon: Columbia River’s Barrel aged stout and Fat Head’s Barrel aged old ale. God don’t make me choose. This is a fusel, buttery, Skoal dip cup mess that seemed excessive even in the tiny tiny taster.

RYE IPA: The rye ale was bitter, vegetal and reeked of pennies and artichokes.

ESB: this was pretty meh in a category that is hard to stunt the fuck out with in the first place, so I guess good overall? Refreshing in a 100 degree tap room?

War Elephant: The DIPA was not bad at all and alone could probably sustain the place amiably. The ipa was essentially an extra sparked version of the DIPa that pulls apart and exposes the seams of the DIPA in an unfavorable way.

Stumbler Stout: The “oatmeal stout” was essentially a porter in execution and had a nice chocolate and sidewalk chalk sort of finish to it that while it sounds gross, was probably my favorite beer from them.  Tons of flavor and a nice clean mouthfeel.

They also serve food, but I didn’t make it that far, it could be amazing for all I know? I peeked my head into their brewing facility and admired the racks of empty bottles from Timmerman’s and Southern Tier, tipped my cap and nodded the location adieux.