@santeadairius Fruit Punch 1, way better than that horrible movie Sucker Punch.


The Sante Adairius hype machine has been chugging along lovingly, doing its best to pick up onlookers under the immense power of its own intertia. A year ago people nodded knowingly and made contrasts to Tired Hands and then Hill Farmstead and now the two seem to seldom be mentioned outside the same ISO exhalation.

Today’s offering is another riff on the “fruit + Cask 200” paradigm we have visited in the past. Cask Strawberry was tasty, cask cherry a touch of a letdown but how does this Fruit Punch enter the mix?


Creamy frosty fruit.

It pours a ruddy pale Easter pink like Sprite mixed expertly with liquid codeine. The carb lingers on and crackles like Pentecostal alkaseltzer firing bubbles upward with pious fruity solemnity.

The nose is an impressive blend of raspberry chobani, maraschino cherry, jamba juice strawberry must, and a hint of acidity like when Sizzler places a laughable piece of cantaloupe into the plate full of far more expressive delights. 

The taste is quite literally the halfway house between the majesty of cask strawberry and the acidity of cask cherry. It is sweet at the outset like a Shirley Temple or a creamy Mountain Dew code red. The acidity licks the bicuspids with a sting like Guy Montag applying kiwi rind with a precise flamethrower. 


When I hear the bottle counts I be like

The swallow is long and dry but with a sort of torrified wheat grist you would find in a fruited Anna, should such a thing exist. It’s greatest fault is that it doesn’t grip your shoulders and shake you, demanding your reflection. The contemplation is inorganic and, that perhaps might be its greatest virtue. Were this not exceedingly rare, this would be of the most exceptional sessionable, vibrant beers on the market. It is a beautiful barista obfuscated by a fruity hat or jaunty glasses. You can carry on with an unknowing repose in its presence, but careful contemplation yields far greater rewards.

To approximate this at home you can try to muddle berries into Anna, or you can press on with the knowledge that being a covetous completionist is amongst your least praiseworthy attributes, then act accordingly.


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