SHITSTORM ABATED: Homebrew Review – Kyle Matlack/Kmatlack Apricot Lambic

Holy hell people had so many feels when I posted a pic of this bottle a couple days ago. A guy tries to enjoy a simple homebrew and beer nerds start fucking lactating over the idea that maybe someone got something they are entitled to. Fear not, this is just an excellent homebrew, not some unreleased shit from a brewery that you feel that you should be getting free shit from. All is right in the world.

Tagging on bottles for maximum jelly

Tagging on bottles for maximum jelly

You are probably like “oh, a homebrew from someone I don’t know and can’t get, why the fuck should I care?” I don’t know. BM him if you want some, go beat off, eat some expired Dunkaroos I could give a fuck less. Anyway:

A: This has a sort of turbid look to it and has the charm of what appears to be a witbier base, or maybe a saison taken way off the rails. Nice carb, the cork was a motherfuck of an operation. This is a note to C&C homebrews at large: fucking stop it. NO one is laying down homebrews for a decade, caps are fine. This one had a cage that broke as I was opening it and a cork that just would not fucking come loose. I had to saw it in half and then use a wine opener to get it out. It was not unlike this stupid ass shit

Oh you don't like a review of a non-whale homebrew? That's a nice opinion.

Oh you don’t like a review of a non-whale homebrew? That’s a nice opinion.

S: This is incredibly acidic and lactic right from the jump off, the apricot is largely subsumed by a crazy lemon/kumquat/lime acidic presence. This is well inside the realm of Cascade Apricot/Batch 50 GFAR/Veritas 010 in this regard. You want more of the fruit but those tannins are probably under a bed somewhere fucking terrorized from that PH3 just stomping the yard. If you took Fou Foune, took out the musk/cheesy complexity and amped up the acid, this is the result.

T: This is incredibly tart and borders on Shocktarts/Warheads/Lemon Lucas (if you are Hispanic and/or lived in a shitty neighborhood.) The fruit is present but more as an after thought to the incredibly lactic apricot and pluot aspects. Again, very similar to Veritas 010 through and through even down to the way your teeth feel raw and those tum tum gurgles that follow.

reviewing random homebrews now? This site is fucking lazy.

reviewing random homebrews now? This site is fucking lazy.

M: This is crazy dry, like drier than Rosie O’ Donnell’s cooze at a Channing Tatum movie. This his your gumline and starts rolling up the carpet just scorching with a deep satisfying burn. Ask him for a bottle, you’ll see.

D: This is not exceptionally drinkable due to the sky high acidity, but if you aren’t a raging pussy it is one of the best homebrew sours I have had since Upright’s Sole Comp series ::badumtish:: But seriously, fucking great beer, glad I got to try it, maybe if I wasn’t so bitchmade the acid wouldn’t hurt my babymouth so much. Someday.

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