Yearly Archives: 2012

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Fantôme Extra Sour Special Original Creation, The Tartest Ghost To Inhabit Your Liver

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It is no secret that I love saisons, within that penumbra exists Fantome, a ghost who haunts the cockles of my heart. So what happens when Fantome releases ~600 bottle release of extra sour, incredible saison? The world fucking ends, that’s what. I had the hardest time landing this. I tried to hit up my Hill Farmstead friends and they sold out immediately, then I bought one online, OOPS OVERSOLD IT, so they returned my order. I gave up hope. All was lost. UNTIL MY FRIEND TIM SAVED THE DAY FOR NO REASON. So here’s to Fantome, here’s to Dany Prignon, and here’s to Tim. Saison week just wouldn’t feel right without an epic Fantome up in the mix.

I ain’t afraid of no ghosts.

Brasserie Fantôme
Belgium
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 10.00% ABV

A: This is just a radiant turbid murky little lightning bolt that looks messy, but inviting at the same time, like sticky cinnamon rolls. The carbonation, as usual, is out of control. Some Fantomes you just set down and let them get their shit together because you look like a 17 year old pouring his first beer with these saisons. The lacing is minimal but the whole glass just radiates light like when you corrode something in Borderlands, yellow edition. This is staggeringly pretty, Ithaca Brute levels of prettiness.

At 10% abv, this doesn’t feel ruff at all.

S: The smell takes the normal saison offering and kicks up the lactic and pineapple elements to a juicy new realm. There’s a huge funk monster that is musky like wet leather and makes you think you left your bike outside in the rain. You get a slight element of peach and pear from the acidity and some old attic aspects from the closer. A strange, yet incredible quaff to it.

T: This is the smoothest 10% that I think I have ever encountered. The abv is masked brilliantly and there’s a creamy tartness at the outset like an orange julius, You get some residual wheat aspects from the middle body but it washes away into a funky pumpkin patch hay bale sort of musk. The whole beer is aggressive and takes saisons to dangerous new territory.

Fantome is serious business. Let the shortsighted n00bs have all the BA stouts.

M: The mouthfeel is dry, but not excoriating, the abv just sits back and orders the tart drones to do palate strikes. Again, this beer is not SOUR, per se. I have read reviews where douchenozzles complain that it wasn’t some lactic bomb that makes Cantillon blush. This is about as tart as a saison can get while being remotely to style. Some would argue that the 10% abv and huge fruit presence almost takes this into a new realm but to me it feel like a heavyweight boxer who tricked officials into letting him tear up the lower classes. On that note, this bottle was $35, so I doubt many lower classes are enjoying this.

D: This is scary drinkable, to the point where it hits the “MARVEL vs. CAPCOM 2” level where you can trick the fuck out of your friends with this trojan horse of a beer. You can drink this bad boy anywhere. Pull this out at a baby shower, enjoy your 10% treat and it looks like pineapple Ocean Spray and no one is the wiser. So, someone hook me up with another bottle please.

This beer takes saisons to SHOCKING NEW LEVELS. Tap low punch repeatedly to recover.

Narrative: Jerry’s Juice Emporium was failing miserably. First and foremost, people in Nebraska had an aversion to produce on par with 15th century Marseilles serfs. The midwest contingency just did not see what natural things growning on trees had to offer when Brach’s could make fruit snacks that were far more portable. One day, Jerry had the ultimate idea of leaving fermenting barrels of apricot and orange preserves mixed with the wheatgrass out back to make a SUPER SMOOTHIE BOOST. The usual crowd from Curves would pass, or sometimes enjoy a 700 calorie Milk Chocolate Protein MooMax shake, but never fruit. “Wait, what’s this here, HUNGER GAMES SMOOTHIE!” one patron who was likely named Tanya exclaimed. “Well no, it says hunger grain, but you, nevermind, sure.” She hurriedly ordered the juicy hay concoction and immediately felt as rosy as when she was 16 years old, just prior to her first child. “Imma keep my eye on you! I BE FEELING LIKE KATNISS ON THIS ONE!” The high alcohol content was completely masked and more empty pre-diabetic housewives came in droves. And that is how Belgium conquered the dustbowl. Fin.

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Fremont Brewing LAMB Saison, Gwen Stefani was not hurt in the brewing of this beer

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SAISON WEEK TAKES ON UNDERKNOWN SAISONS.

Fremont Brewing kicks out underground jams that don’t get much play in the clubs but they tear up the freestyle battle scene. KDS was amazing, BBomb continues to be amazing and fly under the radar of most. I just pray that Washington traders still keep hooking up these gems on the DL. Saison week keeps chugging along with this interesting take on my favorite style.

Oh my goodness, oh my damn, Fremont Brewing, they going LAMB.

Fremont Brewing Company
Washington, United States
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 6.50% ABV

A: huge carbonation even with a gentle pour, light straw color to bright yellow at the edges, huge 4 finger head in a pint glass with thick lacing. It starts to toe that Upland sour line where you are like, alright enough already carbonation. It is like an interloping stepdad where you are just like “get the fuck out of here, no one was talking to you, you aren’t my real carb.”

pop open dank sticky saisons, enjoy that honey bath.

S: smells of honey, apple, bright bouquet with sweet finish, there’s a really sweet aspect to this that almost leaves the saison building to pursue a career in Adult Belgian Golden modeling. Just don’t tell this lamb’s parents.

T: This has a bright sweet honey taste on the initial palate with a biscuity middle that abruptly finishes, leaving you wanting another taste, aftertaste does not linger, a one two punch of bright then dry flavors. The citrus hops bring up the final flavor with a very subtle compliment. Overall, this is just too much honey in my honey pot, things be all sticky icky ooh wee. Maybe Pooh Bear would be all up in this mix but to be, it just generates too many bothers.

Sometimes the magnitude of the treat is too much to bear.

M: It is very light on the palate with just enough maltiness to sustain the drying hopes and sweet notes. three very nuanced flavors held in a delicate balance and very fleeting, no coating in the mouth making it an easy beer to drink quickly if not for the substantial carbonation. The problem that arises with this beer is that with the C&C format you are hoping for some crazy musk, funk, or even some Brett C up in the mix but the whole funk infection aspect is pretty restrained. I want my saisons in a sex swing, not boring Episcopalian Missionary position.

D: This is incredibly drinkable in a variety of conditions, go out work on your transam and class it up with this, serve this inside on a rainy day and it will impart the crispness of the air, if not cost prohibitive, a great session beer, despite the 6.5% abv. I don’t think this is exactly affordable though, so it might not be a candidate for absolute combo chains.

Whenever I pop open a dank saison, my face be all like-

Narrative: ::Ding dong:: he’s here already? I havent even finished me eye lin- ah but who cares, he’s so easygoing that he wont even notice that I only flatironed my top chunky layers. His bright blonde locks, cool disposition, who am I to keep him waiting. “Sorry I’m no rea-” oh well that’s a new bit of panache, a step with a ball turn into the marble foyer and he leans lazily upon the ballustrade. “-eady.” His light breezy air is welcoming but not cloying, you exhale and turn around closing the door, noticing the sunlight cascading through an eddy of dust particles dancing on a sunbeam and- he’s gone. But you aren’t worried, you have 11 more ounces of this fellow, to lithely waste away this verdant afternoon. Ah he brought honeycombs, your favorite treat, what a supple little lamb.

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Boulevard Brewing Saison Brett, For those who like their saisons a lil bretty. Saison bretty give real good head.

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I really enjoy this beer and it blows me away when my regular trading partners toss this in as an extra. CFrances33 in particular on this one, thanks homie. California now gets Boulevard distro so that good days are upon us. Here is a midwest saison with a sharp brett character, let’s get it.

If you have ever opened one of these, you know that I did not pour it like an asshole.

Boulevard Brewing Co.
Missouri, United States
Saison / Farmhouse Ale | 8.50% ABV

A: Just look at this ridiculous beer, I mean, could you seriously ask for any more carbonation? I know Upland and Fantome are notorious for this kind of nonsense but when carb is so aggressive that you have to go play some RPGs and come back to it, that is simply too much. The body is light golden straw and highlighter yellow at the edges. The lacing is substantial and the whole beer just goes hard in the farmhouse paint.

Sometimes the background elements are the most noteworthy.

S: This has a deep hay meets barnyard musk like puppy breath. There is also a sharp brett character that reminds me of wet leaves and a sort of acidic/white grape aspect to it. The whole beer is amazingly refreshing for 8.5% abv and could easily be a session master that even someone from the UK with the most aggressive of overbites could enjoy at the pub.

T: This is crisp and dry at the outset and the solid wheat base is there in the background like a supportive DJ, nodding on ever 2/4 clove and spice note. There is a light taste of alcohol as it warms but the banana aspects hang in there, like Denzel Washington in FLIGHT. I was going to address this in the M section but this beer has a deep crackle to it that pushes the flavors up and out, leaving a crisp bretty funk in its wake. The hop presence gets pushed out of the way with all of the moshpit of other things going on, but someone holds up the hop’s shoe and they retrieve it and get back up in that pit.

If you can’t handle over the top sours or huge belgian beers, this is a comforting gateway drug.

M: As I noted before, the carbonation just expands on the palate and foams in your mouth with a snap crackle and pop to it. I am not saying Rice Krispies are up in this mix, but the excessive dryness and crackle might put it in that realm. The brett almost reminds me of a chardonnay oak musk to it, solid through and though with deep refreshment.

D: As it warms, there is a bit of the ethanol aspect to it, but the clove/banana/dryness does a great job masking it. I killed this bottle really easily and wanted more while I was playing Borderlands. You can give this beer to damn near anyone and if they have their sea legs in the Hennepin territory, they can likely take this upgraded beer. Your friends are worth it, well, maybe they aren’t.

Pop this saison and it is go time Donny.

Narrative: Fourteen years at the Pepperidge Farm and this is how they treat Devin Francseon. He entered on the Goldfish line and revolutionized the flavor blast line when he added extra clove and allspice to the mix, creating something exceptionally sessionable for the consumer. Apparently no one remembered that. Devin added a level of complexity to the Milano melts, going beyond the overweight female/recent divorcee market. He gripped the pink slip with a tense stare at his Ziggy calendar and calculated his next move. “They take my contributions to the Geneva line and just kick me out, we will see about that.” He went and retrieved a sack of Thiamin Monotrate and headed to the Enriched wheat tanks. He was going to add something to that traditional wheat to funk it up. The batch went out the door at the same time Devin was cleaning out his desk. The company saw 140% profits on their new funkwork cookies, Devin stomped a bag of Tim Tams in frustration.