Westvleteren 12, Quad, The Best Beer Ev, hey guys look out a snip-

The #1 Beer in the World, Ever.  Apparently.

The #1 Beer in the World. Now FDA Approved for Children, if they're super chill.

Oh wait, a little midweek bonus? The best beer
in the world? I guess I will close cuteoverload.com to check this out.

Westvleteren 12, Quad, 10.2% abv

A: Deep dark mahogany, one of the darkest quads that I have ever seen with incredibly tiny bubbles and very minimal lacing. When held to the light it has a type of a deep ruby glow to it. Like the blushing of that polynesian girl you used to flatter with such coquetry. Her deep wheezing indicating laughter for their kind.

S: Caramel, plums, candied walnuts, and raisins are on the nose of this beer with a bit of a waft of booziness. The fruits have a bit of dry waft to them, like a dark chardonnay. It smells like a KB Home after a serious bender/Nurse Jackie marathon with some 30 somethings. Merlot and dates are def present up in the mix.

T: The taste imparts itself quickly and doesn’t linger for long, it is similar to the nose and has a swift fig, date, raisin taste to it that washes with a mild hop swallow to it. There is almost zero alcohol presence to this beer and the sweet brown sugar lingering notes are fantastic. It is amazing, it makes me feel like I had a peg leg, but I was deft and capable with it, collecting coins in my Expos hat.

M: This has an incredibly light and almost strikingly simple mouthfeel to it. It didn’t have a big breadiness or huge malty backbone but, given all the flavor present, it is not lacking as a result. It’s like one of those really pleasant old friends you see in the grocery store, enjoy the interaction for a bit, and then go on your way. Except you probably wont see them again for a long time. it is deceptively simple, and you end up leaving the test knowing that “testicles” was not the correct answer on the multiple question test. Just relax, the answer is always testicles.

D: This is the most drinkable quad I had ever tasted and it is almost a travesty to only have a single 33cl bottle because you finish it and are prepared for another. This beer is a paradox because it is very complex on the flavor profile but swift and simple at the same time. Like those old Craiglists grifters who impart a deep fruit taste but empty my bank account.

Narrative: The Latvian police fired a single 22mm shot from a pathetic ruger at the fleeing Econoline van. “Wesley! They’re gonna open fire on us! What are we supposed to do now!” Sverdyakov shouted while tensely staring in his rear view mirror. Wesley Westvleteren the 12th took a drag from his hand rolled Belgian cigarillo and exhaled coolly, making the outline of a Portugese Man-o-war effortlessly. “I shall tell you what shall be done” he noted while spying the pricelessly rare Pez cargo “we shall make a swift right on the upcoming Ave 12×4 on the gps, then make a hard right for the abandoned canal, on Tuesdays the water gates are left bereft of any moisture for cleaning. “ The slack jawed Russian thugs nodded astonished and proceeded to follow his instructions to the letter. A Latvian police office smashed into a water pump and the tiny Peugeot exploded in a cloud of cheap eastern European diesel fuel. “A concordant of worms indeed” he quipped as he pulled a raisin fig pez candy from one of the clear sacks and popped it into his mouth, “the rarest deepest fruits, certainly worth the struggle.” The van made a sharp turn across the border and two police cars smashed into one another in a comically archetypical fashion. Westy the 12th was a man of many things, but “fucking around” was not on his resume.