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Lindeman’s Framboise, 6% abv, Raspberry Massacre

Raspberry Trainwreck

Framboise lambic lindemans

A: There is a deep ruby red purple color with a fuchsia head with no lacing, it just sits there, nonplussed.

S: There is a huge raspberry and skittles nose with juicy berries and roses. Far more juice and sweetness than maltiness and beer. This seems to be a flaw as the nose is just sweet with nothing else to offer.

T: There is a huge juicy presence with no alcohol waft just complete wine profile with no oak just juicy juice that is kinda cloying after a bit. I wonder if this would be better as a cuvee or maybe just not ordered at all. It is difficult to say.

M The mouthfeel is thin with no hops, the only thing that I notice is a sticky coating with weak tannins. This is that birthday party for beer elements where if a real beer showed up, it would feel all awkward because 11 year old dudes were playing Mall Madness.

D The profile is not meant for long sessions. Even my 12oz romp was enough for me. This “beer” was weak and far too sweet. I know I am supposed to judge on style but this is just nonsense, don’t drink this. Go drink a cup of juice and save your liver the paperwork.

Narrative: Eliza’s 6th grade science project seemed to be going to well. She had an impeccable tristand board with exhibits and visuals and graphs. The hypothesis seemed well ordered and- what the, “WHAT ARE THE EFFECTS OF PINOT NOIR ON AN 11 YEAR OLD?” Ok, that is when things maybe took a downtown. Eliza showed up visibly drunk, not unlike a Portugese schoolgirl. Her teeth were stained blackberry purple and she kept leaning on the judges, physically not figuratively. While her study was technically sound, her parents shook their heads in disbelief when she began crying and attempting to go through her phone. Notwithstanding, she confirmed that Pinot Grigio made girls of all ages and dispositions emotional wrecks. She took second place to a Vietnamese child whose water acidity exhibit was clearly put together by his parents. Also, they were not drunk.