Wachusett Blueberry Ale, This Beer is Straight Up Stomping My Berries

Well I already reviewed Cascade Blueberry and Cantillon Blabaer, where do you go, my lovely? Where do you go? I guess we can round out the fruit beer profile with this lil firecracker. Let’s see if it gets the juices flowing or if it should have remained on the vine in today’s review.

Was this beer the inspiration for Blabaer? Mayb- No. Definitely not.

Wachusett Brewing Company
Massachusetts, United States
Fruit / Vegetable Beer | 4.40% ABV

A: Thin straw color with incredible lager-like clarity. The lacing is nice and the middle carbonation rides throughout. Looks like a very well done, albeit thin, lager. I must admit, seeing absolutely no hints of blueberry tinting makes this highly circumspect of some adjunct or additives, maybe I am just breaking their berries but it is suspicious.

Blueberries are a simple pleasure even 2nd graders can enjoy without a single pang of guilt.

S: This smells like grape soda, or the blue sticks of fruit stripe gum. The blueberries are present and accounted for a in a huge way. There’s a very faint tinny hint to the back, similar to the way Heineken and Beck’s retain that but, its so overwhelmed by fruit notes, it’s tough to really point out.

T: The taste has very little of the fruit that was present in the nose and drinks like a pilsner with great crisp corn at the outset which fades into an ABC bubble gum grape flavor at the end. It isn’t exactly grapes or blueberries, its like I already ate them and now am drinking a beer.

Can’t afford blueberries? Want to get drunk on public transit? I have just the libation for you.

M: It is incredibly crisp and refreshing, it’s easy to take huge pulls off of this glass and it practically begs to be enjoyed outdoors. It’s tough to say a lot here, there’s a mild cracker note to it but you move your mouth slightly and it flees quickly. it’s like that God damn Booberry cereal, good luck finding it outside of the month of October.

D: This would be this beers strongest suit and arguably most redeeming quality. This comes off as an adjunct lager but done “better” than adjuncts I suppose. I had the same problem with the Sam Adams Cherry Bock as I do as this one, there’s this dental artificial flavoring to this that comes off as disingenuous.

Alcohol can say many things. This beer says “hey lagers are for preteens too”

Narrative: “BLUE BERRIES FOR SAL!??! YOU WERE GOING TO REENACT THAT BOOK!?” Mr. Mitchell’s face was beet red. “Well, yeah so we went up past the brush land and yeah I let them run around looking for a bit, searching out some blueberries, what have you.” Chase pleaded, trying to smoothe over this catastrophe. Mr. Mitchell ran his fingers through his hair pacing at the base of the trail. “OH GOD, THEY COULD BE, please, just help me look for them, we will deal with you later.” The two darted left and right, the lowlands of Wyoming were not exceptionally blessed with wild blueberry patches. “Is that- I think that’s them over there!” The two scampered over logs and felled trees towards the clearing. “OH MY G-” There the two children were, their baskets strewn about pell mell, blue berries smashed all over their faces and clothing. “Da…no more blub-…bluberries for Sal…” little Kaitlynn’s voice gurgled through the messy blueberry puree oozing out of her face hole. “GRRROOAARRRR!!!!” the resonant call of a Black Bear resounded through the meadow. “OH GOD YOU REALLY DID REENACT BLUEBERRIES FOR SA-!”


Cascade Blueberry Wild Ale, Sometimes a Sour is So Good It Leaves Me With Blue Berries When It Is Gone

Cascade has plenty of incredible rare offerings, but let’s not just sit back and cast garlands upon Oregon and their amazing case per person law. Sure, I love sitting around like the next guy, waiting for one of the 12 bottles of this month’s rage to come my way. Oh wait, it’s just me? Sorry Oregon, just keep hanging onto your bottles, I will toss up a few Chocolate Rains for the next batch of Ruth. BEER NERDS KNOW WHAT IS HAPEN. Bottom line: Cascade is amazing and their distribution is beyond fantastic. Lazy assholes like myself can hang out online, order, and wait until the blueberry goodness just arrives on his doorstep. Shit is cray.

Murder this beer wrote scopin old ass beer drinkers hittin them with that Matlock .45

Cascade Brewing Company, Blueberry Wild Ale, 7.3% abv

A: This has an awesome light purple or a DEEP LAVENDER if you will, radiance to it. The lacing is nice and the microbubbles splash around playfully, thinking of gentler times. The note told me to leave this beer alone, but fuck all that, this beer just took a fantastic journey from Oregon, time to “bust it open and pop a picture with my phone” – Yung Joc.

Please excuse my lack of enthusia- wait what, one of my favorite breweries just made a blueberry sour? Well nevermind, fuck my reader base, they can get their ow-

S: The smell is a fantastic cascade of acidity, musk, borderline Cantillon levels of funk, and of course an awesome blueberry with a blackberry jam presence. It’s like nana made preserves and the whole neighborhood gang is invited to pal along. Oh and nana is a master brewer.

T: The taste has a sharp acidity at the outset and you get the underlying wheat beer aspect like watching your friend drive away with his hand pressed against a blackberry smeared window. The taste is fantastic and simplistic, blueberries for sal, acidity and blueberries for the bears chasing sal. Pretty simplistic really. But the Volkswagen GTI was simplistic and it got countless eurotrash guys laid, so there’s always that. The nice hit of tannins on the gumline adds a minor bit of complexity but really it is a 2 person White Stripes ensemble and keeps it grass roots through and through. Bottomline, this is a fantastic wild ale and I recommend it highly, get your messy jam sesh on.

Sometimes when I am tasting an incredible sour from Cascade I stop and realize there is another aspect and wait, what is that brett- wait no, there's a spoiler on my spoiler. The end result keeps my drag co-efficient so low.

M: The mouthfeel is as to be expected from a blonde ale base that has gone all apeshit in souring barrel treatment and bunked up with berries for months on end. You come out sweet, but secretly so tart inside. I am not saying that the blueberries raped the shit out of the blonde ale, please, this is a family blog. But before the Goof Troop activists get all nuts, I will say that the drying is minimal and the blueberries add a sweetness that makes you crave the next sip.

D: This is exceptionally drinkable and the sour notes don’t slow shit down. I dont even know why this isn’t an outright session sour, having less than 2 bottles of this in your cellar is pointless like an Uzi with a beam, mashing out on sours in a ‘cuzi full of steam. I ordered plenty of bottles and sure enough, I will ship plenty of these to midwest traders and then I will be a whiny bitch in 2 months about how I can’t taste this amazing beer. Boo to the fuckin hoo up in this piece.

Wait, you are a sour, with blueberries, from Oregon...
Did we just become best friends?

Narrative: “No, no please just the wash-” Rodney Blahberre opined to the car care specialists. He wondered to himself why every position had now changed itself to a new lofty title. Servers were table maintenance technicians, janitors were municipal waste engineers, Lawyers were still giant assholes, but beauticians that were failures still called themselves “stay at home wives,” which irked old Rodney. Being the empirical beast he was, Rodney laid out all the plans of a failed, boring, wife-based business: a hair and antique boutique. No one walked in with an express desire to buy a wagon wheel and obtain a shitty perm but, well, here we were at Rodney Antiquated Everything: Cuts and Huts Emporium. One day, Rodney realized that this business model, without the assistance of subservient wages, would soon capsize, he hired a series of Portugese people, whom he offensively referred to as “Porties.” The level of racism was staggering around the Cuts and Huts Emporium, particularly to those poor Iberians. After taking a brief tour concerning the failed Southern American colonies and the relics left behind, he lost interest outright. His business was in ruin and he couldn’t offload all these Mayan artifacts. Rodney popped a delicious blueberry in his mouth and left the amazing history to other highhanded sources but everyone in his tour group recognized that he had just accomplished something berrincredible.